A Day in Falsettoland by William Finn Lyrics
[WHIZZER, spoken]
A day in Falsettoland
Dr. Mendel at work
[CAROLINE, spoken] [MENDEL]
You go out on the street
And there's all these
People asking for a handout
You go home, you open your mail
And it's full of
People asking for a donation I don't get it
Then, you turn on the TV
And they want money for I don't understand
Starving children in Ethiopia!
I just want to be left alone! In the '60s, everyone had heart
[MENDEL]
In the '60s, we were all a part of the same team
In the '60s, we had a new world to start
Could this–
Oh God, don't say it is–
Could this be the new world we started?
Here I sit, brokenhearted and...
[CAROLINE, spoken]
Do I wait for the promotion, or do I take this IBM job?
[MENDEL, spoken]
Yeah, well, Caroline hmm
[MENDEL]
I don't get it
I've been left behind
Half my patients: Yuppie pagans
Modeled on the Ronald Reagans
Now the world is too pathetic
And I don't get it at all
[CAROLINE, spoken]
Oh, I'm in a deep quandary about my career
What do you think I should do?
[MENDEL, spoken]
Time's up!
[CAROLINE, spoken]
Aww
[CAROLINE exits.]
[MENDEL]
At least there's Trina at home
Trina in bed
Trina obsessing
And sort of caressing
My head with her feet
I once thought it was sweet
But I don't anymore
Now I just snore
'Cause I'm so exhausted
Listening as those yuppie farts complain
Listening as their shallow hearts explain
Their lives
[CHARLOTTE, spoken]
Trina works it out
[TRINA]
Marvin's back with Whizzer
Just like how it was
If I don't like Whizzer
It's because my ex sure does
Why should that affect me?
Sometimes I'm a lout
Mendel serenades, and Jason calms me
Why should I be wilting
When their precious love is not in doubt?
Work it out!
[JASON, spoken]
The neighbors relax
[CORDELIA]
How was your day at the hospital?
[CHARLOTTE]
Unbelievable
What is that smell?
[CORDELIA]
Nouvelle bar mitzvah cuisine
I've been practicing
Cuisine, bar mitzvah, nouvelle
Well?
[MENDEL, spoken]
Hi, honey
[TRINA]
Hi, honey
[MENDEL]
How was your day?
[TRINA]
It was terrible
Did you hear that Marvin's back with Whizzer?
Marvin's back with Whizzer!
[MENDEL]
Drop it, sweetheart
Give it up
You know I love you
Honey, sweetheart, what's the matter?
I don't get it
Why don't you let go?
[TRINA]
After the first mile, I'll be okay
I cannot let go until we have this bar mitzvah
[MENDEL]
Isn't it enough
I want you every night?
[TRINA, laughing]
Huh
[MENDEL]
Every other night?
[TRINA, laughing]
Huh huh huh huh huh
[MENDEL]
Every third night?
Everything will be alright
[TRINA]
Everything will be alright
[MENDEL & TRINA]
Everything will be alright
[CORDELIA]
How was your day
At the hospital?
[CHARLOTTE]
It was wonderful
For the first time in months
Nobody died
[CHARLOTTE]
There were just
Heart attacks and gallstones
Light bulbs up the ass
Fake appendicitis which is gas
Which I diagnosed
People overdosed and I saved them
I saved young people, old people
One priest and one high school principal
Saving lives, I feel invincible
Yes I do
Do you know how great my life is?
Do you know how great my life is?
Saving lives and loving you
[CORDELIA]
You save lives and I save chicken fat
I can't fucking deal with that!
[CHARLOTTE] [MENDEL & TRINA]
Do you know how great my life is?
[CORDELIA]
Yes, I know how great your life is Everything will be alright
[CHARLOTTE]
Do you know how great my life is?
[CORDELIA]
Yes, I know how great your life is Everything will be alright
[CHARLOTTE]
Do you know how great my life is?
[CORDELIA]
Yes, I know how great your life is Everything will be alright
[CHARLOTTE]
Saving lives
[CHARLOTTE & CORDELIA]
And loving you
[WHIZZER]
It bounced twice
[MARVIN]
No, it didn't
[WHIZZER]
Once, then twice
You know it did
[MARVIN]
That's not nice
[WHIZZER]
No, it isn't
But you're a pain in the ass
[MARVIN]
You're a beast
But, at least
When you play me, you win
[WHIZZER]
You give up
[MARVIN]
I perspire
[WHIZZER]
Where's the heat?
Where's the fire?
Used to be you'd desire
A fight!
So fight!
[MARVIN]
So play!
[WHIZZER]
One-two-three-four!
[MARVIN]
One-two-three-four!
[WHIZZER]
One-two-three-four!
[MARVIN]
One-two-three-four!
[WHIZZER]
Lucky dink!
[MARVIN]
I'm finessing
[WHIZZER]
Something stinks in how you play
[MARVIN]
Don't you think it's a blessing
I'm so pathetically bad?
[WHIZZER]
Just stay back
Serve with force
I'll attack
And, of course
I will win
Just give in
To bliss
And kiss...
[MARVIN] [WHIZZER]
Let's go!
Do you know? Down the alley
All I want
Is you High lob
Anything Low drive
You do Ooh!
Is all right Ceiling shot!
Yes, it's all right Into the court!
Do you know? Four walls!
All I want...
Dink!
...Is you
[WHIZZER]
Hit your shoe
[MARVIN]
No, it didn't
[WHIZZER]
Yes it did
The game is through
[MARVIN]
That's not nice
[WHIZZER]
No, it isn't
[MARVIN]
God, you're a pain in the ass
[WHIZZER]
Play it raw
Don't play pretty
Sex and games
In New York City
Have got to be played with flair
And passion
And passion and flair
[MARVIN & WHIZZER] [CHARLOTTE & CORDELIA]
Do you know Do you know how great my life is?
all I want is you? Do you know how great my life is?
Anything you
[MENDEL & TRINA]
Do is alright Everything will be alright!
Yes it's alright Everything will be alright!
[MARVIN & WHIZZER] [MENDEL, TRINA, CHARLOTTE, CORDELIA]
Everything will Everything will
Everything will Be alright!
Everything will Everything will
Everything will Be...
Be Be
[ALL]
Alright!
Alright!
[JASON, speaking]
Soup's done
A day in Falsettoland
Dr. Mendel at work
[CAROLINE, spoken] [MENDEL]
You go out on the street
And there's all these
People asking for a handout
You go home, you open your mail
And it's full of
People asking for a donation I don't get it
Then, you turn on the TV
And they want money for I don't understand
Starving children in Ethiopia!
I just want to be left alone! In the '60s, everyone had heart
[MENDEL]
In the '60s, we were all a part of the same team
In the '60s, we had a new world to start
Could this–
Oh God, don't say it is–
Could this be the new world we started?
Here I sit, brokenhearted and...
[CAROLINE, spoken]
Do I wait for the promotion, or do I take this IBM job?
[MENDEL, spoken]
Yeah, well, Caroline hmm
[MENDEL]
I don't get it
I've been left behind
Half my patients: Yuppie pagans
Modeled on the Ronald Reagans
Now the world is too pathetic
And I don't get it at all
[CAROLINE, spoken]
Oh, I'm in a deep quandary about my career
What do you think I should do?
[MENDEL, spoken]
Time's up!
[CAROLINE, spoken]
Aww
[CAROLINE exits.]
[MENDEL]
At least there's Trina at home
Trina in bed
Trina obsessing
And sort of caressing
My head with her feet
I once thought it was sweet
But I don't anymore
Now I just snore
'Cause I'm so exhausted
Listening as those yuppie farts complain
Listening as their shallow hearts explain
Their lives
[CHARLOTTE, spoken]
Trina works it out
[TRINA]
Marvin's back with Whizzer
Just like how it was
If I don't like Whizzer
It's because my ex sure does
Why should that affect me?
Sometimes I'm a lout
Mendel serenades, and Jason calms me
Why should I be wilting
When their precious love is not in doubt?
Work it out!
[JASON, spoken]
The neighbors relax
[CORDELIA]
How was your day at the hospital?
[CHARLOTTE]
Unbelievable
What is that smell?
[CORDELIA]
Nouvelle bar mitzvah cuisine
I've been practicing
Cuisine, bar mitzvah, nouvelle
Well?
[MENDEL, spoken]
Hi, honey
[TRINA]
Hi, honey
[MENDEL]
How was your day?
[TRINA]
It was terrible
Did you hear that Marvin's back with Whizzer?
Marvin's back with Whizzer!
[MENDEL]
Drop it, sweetheart
Give it up
You know I love you
Honey, sweetheart, what's the matter?
I don't get it
Why don't you let go?
[TRINA]
After the first mile, I'll be okay
I cannot let go until we have this bar mitzvah
[MENDEL]
Isn't it enough
I want you every night?
[TRINA, laughing]
Huh
[MENDEL]
Every other night?
[TRINA, laughing]
Huh huh huh huh huh
[MENDEL]
Every third night?
Everything will be alright
[TRINA]
Everything will be alright
[MENDEL & TRINA]
Everything will be alright
[CORDELIA]
How was your day
At the hospital?
[CHARLOTTE]
It was wonderful
For the first time in months
Nobody died
[CHARLOTTE]
There were just
Heart attacks and gallstones
Light bulbs up the ass
Fake appendicitis which is gas
Which I diagnosed
People overdosed and I saved them
I saved young people, old people
One priest and one high school principal
Saving lives, I feel invincible
Yes I do
Do you know how great my life is?
Do you know how great my life is?
Saving lives and loving you
[CORDELIA]
You save lives and I save chicken fat
I can't fucking deal with that!
[CHARLOTTE] [MENDEL & TRINA]
Do you know how great my life is?
[CORDELIA]
Yes, I know how great your life is Everything will be alright
[CHARLOTTE]
Do you know how great my life is?
[CORDELIA]
Yes, I know how great your life is Everything will be alright
[CHARLOTTE]
Do you know how great my life is?
[CORDELIA]
Yes, I know how great your life is Everything will be alright
[CHARLOTTE]
Saving lives
[CHARLOTTE & CORDELIA]
And loving you
[WHIZZER]
It bounced twice
[MARVIN]
No, it didn't
[WHIZZER]
Once, then twice
You know it did
[MARVIN]
That's not nice
[WHIZZER]
No, it isn't
But you're a pain in the ass
[MARVIN]
You're a beast
But, at least
When you play me, you win
[WHIZZER]
You give up
[MARVIN]
I perspire
[WHIZZER]
Where's the heat?
Where's the fire?
Used to be you'd desire
A fight!
So fight!
[MARVIN]
So play!
[WHIZZER]
One-two-three-four!
[MARVIN]
One-two-three-four!
[WHIZZER]
One-two-three-four!
[MARVIN]
One-two-three-four!
[WHIZZER]
Lucky dink!
[MARVIN]
I'm finessing
[WHIZZER]
Something stinks in how you play
[MARVIN]
Don't you think it's a blessing
I'm so pathetically bad?
[WHIZZER]
Just stay back
Serve with force
I'll attack
And, of course
I will win
Just give in
To bliss
And kiss...
[MARVIN] [WHIZZER]
Let's go!
Do you know? Down the alley
All I want
Is you High lob
Anything Low drive
You do Ooh!
Is all right Ceiling shot!
Yes, it's all right Into the court!
Do you know? Four walls!
All I want...
Dink!
...Is you
[WHIZZER]
Hit your shoe
[MARVIN]
No, it didn't
[WHIZZER]
Yes it did
The game is through
[MARVIN]
That's not nice
[WHIZZER]
No, it isn't
[MARVIN]
God, you're a pain in the ass
[WHIZZER]
Play it raw
Don't play pretty
Sex and games
In New York City
Have got to be played with flair
And passion
And passion and flair
[MARVIN & WHIZZER] [CHARLOTTE & CORDELIA]
Do you know Do you know how great my life is?
all I want is you? Do you know how great my life is?
Anything you
[MENDEL & TRINA]
Do is alright Everything will be alright!
Yes it's alright Everything will be alright!
[MARVIN & WHIZZER] [MENDEL, TRINA, CHARLOTTE, CORDELIA]
Everything will Everything will
Everything will Be alright!
Everything will Everything will
Everything will Be...
Be Be
[ALL]
Alright!
Alright!
[JASON, speaking]
Soup's done