Hard Ball by Trout Fishing In America Lyrics

I wanted a hard ball
I was tired of playing softball
Wanted a hard ball
Like the Major Leaguers used
I asked for a hard ball
But my parents said, "Just wait
You're only seven years old
And you have to be eight."
But I wanted a hard ball
In the very worst way
Needed a hard ball
I already knew how to play
I knew I would get one
They could talk and turn blue
But there was nothing they could do
Nothing they could do

I saved my pennies
Saved my dimes
Collected bottles
It was summertime
The day was hot
And the sky was blue
I wanted a hard ball
And was gonna get one too
I had a good friend
Who was old enough to have one
He couldn't afford it
So a partnership was made
He said he would buy it
If I had a place to hide it
I gave him my Coke-bottle fortune
And got ready to play
He came back with a hard ball
We took it from the box
It was time to play hard ball
Time to take our knocks
Who got to bat first?
We had to be fair
I dug in my pocket
And flipped a coin in the air

I lost the toss
So he was gonna hit
I started to throw. He said
"Back up a little bit."
I asked him why
He said
" I'll knock it down your throat."
I said
"You won't even see it
I bet you're gonna choke."
I let it fly
Threw it hard as I could throw
My folks were at work now
They would never know
I wanted a hard ball
It took me by surprise
When he hit the hard ball
It hit me right between the eyes
The moral of this story is
To do what your parents tell you
And if you can't do that
A friend's advice might help you
If you can't do that
All is still not lost
Take a tip from me
Just be lucky with the toss