Revenge Of A Middle-Aged Woman by Tracy Byrd Lyrics
I was looking for a cheap car in the Sunday classifieds
When an ad jumped out
And hit me right between my bugged out eyes
It was a two-year-old Mercedes
For seven hundred bucks
I couldn't make my tremblin' fingers
Dial that number fast enough
The woman who picked up the phone
Said yes it's still for sale
But I had about a thousand calls
So you better move your tail
When I drove up that long driveway
With the cash there in my hands
She met me at the garage in a short skirt and a tan
When we took it for a test drive
I couldn't believe my luck
She said I'll throw in those Arnold golf clubs there in the trunk
None of this was makin' sense
But then it dawned on me
When she referred to her old man as that cheatin' S.O.B
It was a classic case of a woman scorned
She'll make that man wish he had never been born
She's a forty something year old judge and jury
He'll have no fury like revenge of a middle aged woman
So she took me out to breakfast
Put it on his credit card
And by the time they poured the coffee
She was pouring out her heart
Stories of his sneakin' round and sorted escapades
Secretaries, waitresses, and bimbos half his age
She said you know there's one thing I outta thank him for
Well, he ticked me off so much
I put new locks on the doors
Well, I believe good wine and women get better with time
And if you ask me that man's a fool
Or else he must be blind
I'll never know his motives
Can't get inside his head
But I'm drivin' that Mercedes
And I'm sleeping in his bed
Well, I believe good wine and women get better with time
And if you ask me that man's a fool
Or else he must be blind
I'll never know his motives
Can't get inside his head
But I'm drivin' that Mercedes
And I'm sleeping his bed
Revenge of a middle aged woman
[Spoken]
I know I oughta feel guilty about something…
I just can't think of what it might be
When an ad jumped out
And hit me right between my bugged out eyes
It was a two-year-old Mercedes
For seven hundred bucks
I couldn't make my tremblin' fingers
Dial that number fast enough
The woman who picked up the phone
Said yes it's still for sale
But I had about a thousand calls
So you better move your tail
When I drove up that long driveway
With the cash there in my hands
She met me at the garage in a short skirt and a tan
When we took it for a test drive
I couldn't believe my luck
She said I'll throw in those Arnold golf clubs there in the trunk
None of this was makin' sense
But then it dawned on me
When she referred to her old man as that cheatin' S.O.B
It was a classic case of a woman scorned
She'll make that man wish he had never been born
She's a forty something year old judge and jury
He'll have no fury like revenge of a middle aged woman
So she took me out to breakfast
Put it on his credit card
And by the time they poured the coffee
She was pouring out her heart
Stories of his sneakin' round and sorted escapades
Secretaries, waitresses, and bimbos half his age
She said you know there's one thing I outta thank him for
Well, he ticked me off so much
I put new locks on the doors
Well, I believe good wine and women get better with time
And if you ask me that man's a fool
Or else he must be blind
I'll never know his motives
Can't get inside his head
But I'm drivin' that Mercedes
And I'm sleeping in his bed
Well, I believe good wine and women get better with time
And if you ask me that man's a fool
Or else he must be blind
I'll never know his motives
Can't get inside his head
But I'm drivin' that Mercedes
And I'm sleeping his bed
Revenge of a middle aged woman
[Spoken]
I know I oughta feel guilty about something…
I just can't think of what it might be