Talking KKK Blues by Townes Van Zandt Lyrics
Well I was born in Mississippi
On a fine Spring day
I quit second grade
Joined the KKK
The recruiter said
"Sorry man, there ain't no way
You got too damned much education"
I said
"Please sir, please
You gotta take me
'Cuz I believe in the bible and democracy
I believe all real Americans oughtta be free
I believe in Jesus and the great salvation."
He said
"I don't know kid."
Said
"I make a pretty good molotov cocktail, too"
And he said
"You're in."
Well it's not all the blacks we gotta worry about
It's the poor white trash
Jaqueline Kennedy and John Lindsay
Well he gave me a hood
That looked real neat
Gave me a big ol' long white sheet
It hit the floor and tucked under my feet
He said
"That's so it won't leave no toe prints."
I said
"Man, I never did realize that anything could be so secretized."
He said
"Yes sir, so our breath won't be recognize at the meetings we burn incense."
Said
"Crap man, that's kinda extreme."
He just grinned and thanked me
Well I had a bad day when I first started off
I had a miserable failure on my first molotov
Didn't explode and all the fellas scoffed
Through it in a church and it just fizzed
Out comes this boy and he hits me with a right
Then he gives me a left with all of his might
I said
"Hang on a minute man, you're not supposed to fight."
And my eyes turned as black as his
Damn bully's what he was
And a barbarian
Well now don't ask me how I got to where I am
Working in the office of the head Klan man
Mr. Sheldon 'bout got killed in Birmingham
But he's invincible, pretty near
How I got so important is kinda hard to say
I guess my award kinda paved the way
It's an award you just don't get everyday
They made me Bigot of the Year
'Course, I don't like to brag about it none
It's all in a day's prejudice
On a fine Spring day
I quit second grade
Joined the KKK
The recruiter said
"Sorry man, there ain't no way
You got too damned much education"
I said
"Please sir, please
You gotta take me
'Cuz I believe in the bible and democracy
I believe all real Americans oughtta be free
I believe in Jesus and the great salvation."
He said
"I don't know kid."
Said
"I make a pretty good molotov cocktail, too"
And he said
"You're in."
Well it's not all the blacks we gotta worry about
It's the poor white trash
Jaqueline Kennedy and John Lindsay
Well he gave me a hood
That looked real neat
Gave me a big ol' long white sheet
It hit the floor and tucked under my feet
He said
"That's so it won't leave no toe prints."
I said
"Man, I never did realize that anything could be so secretized."
He said
"Yes sir, so our breath won't be recognize at the meetings we burn incense."
Said
"Crap man, that's kinda extreme."
He just grinned and thanked me
Well I had a bad day when I first started off
I had a miserable failure on my first molotov
Didn't explode and all the fellas scoffed
Through it in a church and it just fizzed
Out comes this boy and he hits me with a right
Then he gives me a left with all of his might
I said
"Hang on a minute man, you're not supposed to fight."
And my eyes turned as black as his
Damn bully's what he was
And a barbarian
Well now don't ask me how I got to where I am
Working in the office of the head Klan man
Mr. Sheldon 'bout got killed in Birmingham
But he's invincible, pretty near
How I got so important is kinda hard to say
I guess my award kinda paved the way
It's an award you just don't get everyday
They made me Bigot of the Year
'Course, I don't like to brag about it none
It's all in a day's prejudice