Dawn of misery by Torn Lyrics
This is as true as it gets...
[Verse 1]
After you listened to the 0 days mixtape
You thought "T's been shit since first grade when he first displayed"
And even though I thought that I was winning
I knew that everything I'd done was just the ending beginning
Matter of fact, I'll tell you all, let's go back before this madness
To the past where I lived in a fantasy of happiness
Eleven years ago, right before my first suicidal consideration
J told me "listen to Eminem, he's been giving jobs to the fire station"
So I did; only had rock, metal and two of his songs
Until I realized I liked rap more and I was doing wrong
Suddenly my mind's racing, my brain is deteriorating
I was at the balcony, fifty meter drop, my heart ain't accelerating
I ignored the facts and put myself to regretting
I didn't know whether to jump or eat a cookie and start forgetting
I ate the cookie and tried to erase the memories
Supposed to keep the screet but here I am telling them, I'm failing man
I don't remember how old I was, but I was still a kid
Already enlightened into suicide, the dawn of misery
Anyways let's go to 2010, on sixth grade
I made a mistake and my friend's angry at me so I'm trynna pay
Choking myself with a goddamn fanny pack
I felt abandoned, sister's about to leave and she ain't coming back
My only friend's mad, my voice is wack
Skin color's the same as shit, fuck it, I'm not even black
It didn't even work so I just stood up and went out like nothing happened
"Hey what's up with your neck, is someone harrassing you?"
Purple lines on the collar like I've already died hung up
As you can see it ain't hard for me to fuck up
At that moment I accepted the fate of my existence
Every chance of success died, now I present no resistance
[Verse 2]
Seventh grade, not even attempting, just living in pain
I have what I wanted but I ain't feeling great, I'm going insane
I'm like a waste, I play games to put it behind me
And I start doing things unimaginable 'cause Wax's trying me
Another ff, nineth grade story
Meet my life companies and Six Gay's forming
But studying tho? I couldn't care less
Dishonest speech to my parents to avoid discussions 'cause I couldn't bare them
Now nineth grade's repeating
I'm starting to sense the presence of a demon when I'm speaking
This time around I was sunk in depression
Discovered 2Pac and Biggie and started to die in discretion
A hell fiend hibernating, slept through all the classes
Only thing I did was copping coins from the masses by licking trashes
Year's almost over and I'm trapped in my sorrow
Stacked a ton of homework that I had to do for tomorrow
I ain't doing this shit, but I ain't losing the year again
So I went downstairs and grab the first poisonous object to kill myself
There it was, my friend the insecticide
Ironic, I'm a roach, drunk the can, but death wasn't in time
Got scared, told my parents about it
Shooked, they took me to the hospital and they both are soundless
[Verse 3]
Return to the present, here's what's up to now
My brother died in an accident, trying to end my life anyhow
Tried insecticide again, didn't work
I hang myself, fell off to the floor, almost broke a fucking bone
Grab about 40 antidepressives and put them in my stomach
Go to sleep and wake up shattered, projected reality's bugging
Started doing drugs, became an acetaminophen addict
To exist in a world where I can't cheat my way to the abyss
Satan haunts me, fuck God and his snake slippery
He did this to me, to hell I'm going in the dawn of misery
[Verse 1]
After you listened to the 0 days mixtape
You thought "T's been shit since first grade when he first displayed"
And even though I thought that I was winning
I knew that everything I'd done was just the ending beginning
Matter of fact, I'll tell you all, let's go back before this madness
To the past where I lived in a fantasy of happiness
Eleven years ago, right before my first suicidal consideration
J told me "listen to Eminem, he's been giving jobs to the fire station"
So I did; only had rock, metal and two of his songs
Until I realized I liked rap more and I was doing wrong
Suddenly my mind's racing, my brain is deteriorating
I was at the balcony, fifty meter drop, my heart ain't accelerating
I ignored the facts and put myself to regretting
I didn't know whether to jump or eat a cookie and start forgetting
I ate the cookie and tried to erase the memories
Supposed to keep the screet but here I am telling them, I'm failing man
I don't remember how old I was, but I was still a kid
Already enlightened into suicide, the dawn of misery
Anyways let's go to 2010, on sixth grade
I made a mistake and my friend's angry at me so I'm trynna pay
Choking myself with a goddamn fanny pack
I felt abandoned, sister's about to leave and she ain't coming back
My only friend's mad, my voice is wack
Skin color's the same as shit, fuck it, I'm not even black
It didn't even work so I just stood up and went out like nothing happened
"Hey what's up with your neck, is someone harrassing you?"
Purple lines on the collar like I've already died hung up
As you can see it ain't hard for me to fuck up
At that moment I accepted the fate of my existence
Every chance of success died, now I present no resistance
[Verse 2]
Seventh grade, not even attempting, just living in pain
I have what I wanted but I ain't feeling great, I'm going insane
I'm like a waste, I play games to put it behind me
And I start doing things unimaginable 'cause Wax's trying me
Another ff, nineth grade story
Meet my life companies and Six Gay's forming
But studying tho? I couldn't care less
Dishonest speech to my parents to avoid discussions 'cause I couldn't bare them
Now nineth grade's repeating
I'm starting to sense the presence of a demon when I'm speaking
This time around I was sunk in depression
Discovered 2Pac and Biggie and started to die in discretion
A hell fiend hibernating, slept through all the classes
Only thing I did was copping coins from the masses by licking trashes
Year's almost over and I'm trapped in my sorrow
Stacked a ton of homework that I had to do for tomorrow
I ain't doing this shit, but I ain't losing the year again
So I went downstairs and grab the first poisonous object to kill myself
There it was, my friend the insecticide
Ironic, I'm a roach, drunk the can, but death wasn't in time
Got scared, told my parents about it
Shooked, they took me to the hospital and they both are soundless
[Verse 3]
Return to the present, here's what's up to now
My brother died in an accident, trying to end my life anyhow
Tried insecticide again, didn't work
I hang myself, fell off to the floor, almost broke a fucking bone
Grab about 40 antidepressives and put them in my stomach
Go to sleep and wake up shattered, projected reality's bugging
Started doing drugs, became an acetaminophen addict
To exist in a world where I can't cheat my way to the abyss
Satan haunts me, fuck God and his snake slippery
He did this to me, to hell I'm going in the dawn of misery