Im A Scumbag by Toothpick Tommy Lyrics
Wake up, watcha know about??
Puttin' a toothbrush inside your mouth??
Just kiddin', I don't brush my teeth
I'm a scumbag baby, my breath fuckin' wreaks
I'm the opposite of the word pamper
Fuck a drawer, I grab the boxers from my hamper
Put on an old pair of jeans
That I've been wearin' for the last 3 weeks
Yup, I'm that kind of smelly
Make a shirt from the lint in belly
Button, I'm not bluffin', im fluffin'
Walk up to a kid and steal his muffin
Make my way down to the school yard
Take out my key and scratch a few cars
Take a banana peel, go to the field
Drop it on the ground, watch a kid fall and squeal
Have a laugh, then take out my smokes
See which kid I can get to take a toke
Tell him that its healthy, his parents are lying
You'll be a real cool man, if you just try it
He'll start to choke, he'll start to cough
I'll tell him "Take another puff and then walk it off"
As that happens, I'll start to leave
Cause the kid has asthma, and he can't breathe
Get to the road, but there's something I forgot
Reach in my backpack and grab my sling shot
Grab a few pebbles, grab a few stones
Hide in the bushes and aim at some domes
The pebbles fly, the kids cry
He should'a listened to his mother cause he poked out an eye
Gotta get outta there, the teachers outside
But im too quick for them, Zoltans so sly
[Chorus]
I'm a scumbag, and that shows,/hump like a camel
I'm a lowlife, cooked like a casserole
I'm a dirty, rotten scoundrel
Man I'm shitty, just like an asshole
Got to the store and I bought some gum
Chewed a whole bunch, the wads bigger than my thumb
Took it out my mouth, it's like a mini anvil
Found someones car, put it under the handle
You shoulda seen their expression on their face
That's a feeling that no soap can ever erase
Went to the YMCA in the early hours
Just so I could go and piss in the showers
Went and jerked off inside of the stalls
Not a tagger but I left my mark on the walls
You could check the DNA, a scientist would say
"This babe is a grade A fuckin' scumbag!!"
Well, I guess it's time to go home
Log on to Facebook and Bang some hoes!!
And to steer clear of that H.I.V
I only fuck girls with Fake I.D.'s
We get in my house, she's suckin on my feet
She's blind folded, she can't see the athletes
Foot, lay back and stay put
Put my toe in her ass, I don't pussy foot
Bangin' the world, I siney sin sin
Got more hair on my dick than I do on my chiney chin chin
At the end of the day, I turned on the tube
Nothin' good on so I watched the news
Seen a headline that blew my mind
Says "Stranger offers smoke, young kid dies"
Oh shit!! That's that fuckin' kid
With asthma who I told to smoke my cig
Oh well, I did him a favour
That'll teach him never to listen to a stranger
But for real man, he was a fuckin' idiot
He wasn't gonna grow up to some brilliant
Dude, I'm scumbag, I don't care
I'll fuckin' steal your comb then comb my pubic hair
Puttin' a toothbrush inside your mouth??
Just kiddin', I don't brush my teeth
I'm a scumbag baby, my breath fuckin' wreaks
I'm the opposite of the word pamper
Fuck a drawer, I grab the boxers from my hamper
Put on an old pair of jeans
That I've been wearin' for the last 3 weeks
Yup, I'm that kind of smelly
Make a shirt from the lint in belly
Button, I'm not bluffin', im fluffin'
Walk up to a kid and steal his muffin
Make my way down to the school yard
Take out my key and scratch a few cars
Take a banana peel, go to the field
Drop it on the ground, watch a kid fall and squeal
Have a laugh, then take out my smokes
See which kid I can get to take a toke
Tell him that its healthy, his parents are lying
You'll be a real cool man, if you just try it
He'll start to choke, he'll start to cough
I'll tell him "Take another puff and then walk it off"
As that happens, I'll start to leave
Cause the kid has asthma, and he can't breathe
Get to the road, but there's something I forgot
Reach in my backpack and grab my sling shot
Grab a few pebbles, grab a few stones
Hide in the bushes and aim at some domes
The pebbles fly, the kids cry
He should'a listened to his mother cause he poked out an eye
Gotta get outta there, the teachers outside
But im too quick for them, Zoltans so sly
[Chorus]
I'm a scumbag, and that shows,/hump like a camel
I'm a lowlife, cooked like a casserole
I'm a dirty, rotten scoundrel
Man I'm shitty, just like an asshole
Got to the store and I bought some gum
Chewed a whole bunch, the wads bigger than my thumb
Took it out my mouth, it's like a mini anvil
Found someones car, put it under the handle
You shoulda seen their expression on their face
That's a feeling that no soap can ever erase
Went to the YMCA in the early hours
Just so I could go and piss in the showers
Went and jerked off inside of the stalls
Not a tagger but I left my mark on the walls
You could check the DNA, a scientist would say
"This babe is a grade A fuckin' scumbag!!"
Well, I guess it's time to go home
Log on to Facebook and Bang some hoes!!
And to steer clear of that H.I.V
I only fuck girls with Fake I.D.'s
We get in my house, she's suckin on my feet
She's blind folded, she can't see the athletes
Foot, lay back and stay put
Put my toe in her ass, I don't pussy foot
Bangin' the world, I siney sin sin
Got more hair on my dick than I do on my chiney chin chin
At the end of the day, I turned on the tube
Nothin' good on so I watched the news
Seen a headline that blew my mind
Says "Stranger offers smoke, young kid dies"
Oh shit!! That's that fuckin' kid
With asthma who I told to smoke my cig
Oh well, I did him a favour
That'll teach him never to listen to a stranger
But for real man, he was a fuckin' idiot
He wasn't gonna grow up to some brilliant
Dude, I'm scumbag, I don't care
I'll fuckin' steal your comb then comb my pubic hair