Whats He Driving by Tom Segura Lyrics

Look, I’m not a misogynistic pig.
I think women should judge men equally and harshly.
You know what never fails?
Judge men based on what they drive.
Ladies… if a guy picks you up in a minivan, he is telling you,
“Why have sex when we can collect all the Angry Birds stuffed animals?” [laughter]
Full-size van. Whoa. [laughter]
That’s more like,
“You wanna go out? Well, you’re coming.” [laughter]
Kidnapping joke, yeah?
Now, ladies, if a guy picks you up in a Honda and it’s lowered,
Real low, low… to the ground…
And there’s some cool blue lights underneath it
That says, “When we get to this restaurant, get whatever you want.
My mom’s got this. Don’t worry about it. I got it. Yeah.” – [laughter] –
“Yeah.”
“Yeah, she gave me tip money. Yeah!”