Theyre People by Tom Segura Lyrics

Disabled people have to earn their cool points just like the rest of us.
I’m so exhausted of the idea that everybody with a disability is automatically an angel on earth.
They’re not.
They’re people, and you should treat them like people.
But you don’t.
You patronize the shit out of them. Yeah. I know you do. [applause]
Of course. There’s so many uncomfortably silent guilty faces in here right now. [laughter]
Yeah. You know when you’re at work and fucking Sam rolls up? [laughter]
It’s always Sam.
You don’t go, “Hey, Sam.”
You go, “Hai, Sahm.” [laughter]
And he’s like, “Hi.”
And you go, “How was your weekend?” [laughter]
He’s like, “It was good.”
“Well, that’s good!”
And he’s like, “You know I’m not retarded right?
I just can’t stand up. You’re a fucking asshole.” [crowd laughs, cheers]
Some of them are cool. Some of them are dicks.
I was walking into a building not two weeks ago.
I open the door.
Ten steps back, I notice a guy’s coming up with no arms.
You know what I do? I hold the door.
And when he gets up, he goes, “I don’t need you to do that shit.”
And I go… [laughter] – “All right.” – [cheering]
“Okay, Stumpy. Um… let’s watch you bite that handle for an hour. That’ll be a fun fucking show.” – [laughter]
Fuck that guy. Absolutely fuck him.