God Dont Make No Junk by Tom Segura Lyrics
Then what? You head, uh… you head on down south. [chuckles] [laughter]
[Southern accent] Where “God don’t make no junk.” [snickers] That’s a real expression, by the way: “God don’t make no junk.”
They say it a lot. I lived there for a while.
They say it to people who are complaining about their own situation.
So essentially, it’s a pick-me-up. Right?
Like, some lady might go, “I ain’t purty!” [laughter]
“And I ain’t no good.” [crowd chuckling]
“No one’s ever gonna love me.” [moans]
And someone’ll go, “Don’t you talk that mess.” [crowd chuckles]
“Don’t you say that, Sally— Billy Bob— Sandra. Don’t you say that.” [laughter]
“God don’t make no junk.”
I always want to interrupt and be like,
“I’d like to politely disagree!” [laughter]
“I think He was nodding off when He made you.” [laughter]
“While your sunken eyes and protruding underbite are charming…” [laughter]
"That map of white trash is not sending a lot of lead to the pencil.
You’re right! You’re gonna die alone, bah-bah-bah-Nascar-fart-beer.” [laughter, cheers]
“You big box of stupid.” [laughter]
[Southern accent] Where “God don’t make no junk.” [snickers] That’s a real expression, by the way: “God don’t make no junk.”
They say it a lot. I lived there for a while.
They say it to people who are complaining about their own situation.
So essentially, it’s a pick-me-up. Right?
Like, some lady might go, “I ain’t purty!” [laughter]
“And I ain’t no good.” [crowd chuckling]
“No one’s ever gonna love me.” [moans]
And someone’ll go, “Don’t you talk that mess.” [crowd chuckles]
“Don’t you say that, Sally— Billy Bob— Sandra. Don’t you say that.” [laughter]
“God don’t make no junk.”
I always want to interrupt and be like,
“I’d like to politely disagree!” [laughter]
“I think He was nodding off when He made you.” [laughter]
“While your sunken eyes and protruding underbite are charming…” [laughter]
"That map of white trash is not sending a lot of lead to the pencil.
You’re right! You’re gonna die alone, bah-bah-bah-Nascar-fart-beer.” [laughter, cheers]
“You big box of stupid.” [laughter]