FROM THE VAULTS: Paparazzi by Lady Gaga by Todd in the Shadows Lyrics
[Intro]
Yeah, okay, the second episode was "Paparazzi" by Lady Gaga.
The first episode did not go the way I'd planned [laughs]. It didn't get any hits, it was extremely difficult to do, and I coulda given up right there. And then I started coming up with ideas for "Paparazzi" 'cause this was right when Lady Gaga was making it known that she wasn't some disposable pop starlet, she was actually gonna be around for a while. And when I have a good idea, I pace. I pace furiously, and I was pacing a lot in preparation for the next episode. And that's how I knew I was gonna keep doing it, 'cause I was pacing, I loved... well. This was the first episode I actually tried showing people other than me. And it was helpful, especially showing my little brother, who was a ghostwriter for a lot of the early episodes. We were still working out the bugs, obviously, on episode two, but here it is. The second episode: "Paparazzi" by Lady Gaga.[Review] LADY GAGA – PAPARAZZI A pop song review[Todd plays "Paparazzi" on the piano]
Friends, there is a plague sweeping this nation of ours, reeking havoc on the cultural landscape, leaving nothing but destruction in its wake! A plague known only as Lady Gaga.
[Clip: "Poker Face" by Lady Gaga]
And no, this is not a mere trifle to be taken lightly. This is a serious problem, friends. More proof? Well, I got proof.
[Clip: Chris Daughtry performing "Poker Face"]
[Clip: Weezer performing "Poker Face"]
[Clip: Faith No More performing "Poker Face"]
That was Faith No More, guys. If Lady Gaga has become so powerful that she can corrupt the majesty of Mike Patton, we've reached the point of serious concern. But the cover version of "Poker Face" that bothers me the most is by Lady Gaga.
[Clip: Lady Gaga performing "Poker Face"]
You may not know this, but Lady Gaga is a Juilliard-trained child prodigy, and it really does show in this video. If you watch this video enough times, you'll notice two very important things: one, Lady Gaga is ridiculously talented and two, Lady Gaga is Satan. I'm not kidding. This video scares me to death.I am marvelous[Todd covers his head] Ah! Don't eat me!
I knew that "Poker Face" was already a fairly evil song to begin with, but this makes it so much worse. Maybe it's that she's dressed like a Final Fantasy villain for no reason, or those weird, bug-like motions, or maybe it's just the fact that you can't see her eyes. What kind of person makes some creepy, weird video of themselves where you can't see their eyes‽ [Todd turns to the camera] That's just crazy, right‽
But I think what bothers me the most is that she could've been making these genuinely impressive torch songs forever, but instead she chooses to make music like this:
[Clip: "LoveGame" by Lady Gaga]Have some fun, this beat is sick
I wanna take a ride on your disco stickAnd therein lies the great paradox of Lady Gaga: she's too smart, too talented to make bad pop music, but she's too shallow to not make bad pop music, and the only way she can deal with this is to become this over-the-top, semi-ironic caricature of pop stardom. Which is a great, original idea which no one's ever thought of before.
[Clip: "Hollaback Girl" by Gwen Stefani]
[Clip: "Vogue" by Madonna]
[Clip: "Let's Dance" by David Bowie]
Okay, maybe some people have thought of it before. But if there's something on which I can agree with even the dumbest pop stars, it's that we all hate the paparazzi.
[Clip: "Paparazzi" by Lady Gaga]
The paparazzi are worthless. They are the scum-sucking bottom-feeders of the entertainment world. If you had to rank the showbiz hierarchy, the paparazzi would be way at the bottom. And of course, right at the top are reviewers like myself. So, if Lady Gaga is going to focus her terrifying demonic energy on somebody, I'm glad it's those parasites. Go get 'em, Lady Gaga.Papa—paparazzi"Pop a paparazzi." You mean like "pop 'em"? Pop 'em one right in the face? Yeah. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. I can get behind this.Baby there's no other superstar, you know that I'll be
Your papa—paparazziWait...Promise I'll be kind
But I won't stop until that boy is mine
Baby, you'll be famous, chase you down until you love me
Papa—paparazzi[Todd defeatedly lays his head onto his piano]
Todd: Why am I even surprised‽ Why am I surprised? She's so vapidly in love with celebrity culture that she even loves the paparazzi. What is wrong with this woman‽ Paparazzi are the enemy! They made a whole movie—
—about how the paparazzi wanna destroy your life and eat your soul and they're going to enjoy doing it.
[Clip: "Paparazzi" (2004)]I want to destroy your life and eat your soul, and I can't wait to do it.And what's this "I'm your biggest fan" nonsense?I'm your biggest fan, I'll follow you until you love meThe average paparazzo isn't assaulting Megan Fox at the airport or digging through Brad Pitt's garbage because they really, really like them. They just want a paycheck, Lady Gaga. You know that, right‽ You know what the paparazzi are, right‽ Do you even know the definition of the word‽Not sure what it meansWell, that clears that up. You know, I'm not against stalker songs, per se. I mean, I love "Every Breath You Take," everyone does. But "Paparazzi" – I can't seem to figure out what the metaphor of the song actually is. I mean, look:Got my flash on, it's true, need that picture of youShe's a paparazzo.I'm your biggest fan, I'll follow you until you love meNo, she's an obsessed fan.Leather and jeans, garage glamorous
Not sure what it means, but this photo of usShe's a fellow celebrity.I'll be your girl, backstage at your showShe's a groupie.Real good, we're dancing in the studio
Snap, snap to that shit on the radioShe's a blithering idiot. I don't know! Why am I even trying to look this deeply at it‽ The more I peel back the layers of Lady Gaga, the less I find! My only conclusion is that there's just nothing there. She just wants to conquer us all with her evil powers and use our skins as fabric for her endless array of stupid outfits! I mean, I'd like to think that she was a flash in the pan that's gonna burn herself out by next year, but I'm honestly worried that she's in this for the long haul. Is there nothing we can do about this woman before it's too late‽
[Clip: Man in "Paparazzi" video pushes Gaga over the balcony]
Well, that works.
[Closing tag song: "Radio Ga Ga" by Electric Six] THE END "Paparazzi" is owned by Interscope Records, and this video is owned by me
Yeah, okay, the second episode was "Paparazzi" by Lady Gaga.
The first episode did not go the way I'd planned [laughs]. It didn't get any hits, it was extremely difficult to do, and I coulda given up right there. And then I started coming up with ideas for "Paparazzi" 'cause this was right when Lady Gaga was making it known that she wasn't some disposable pop starlet, she was actually gonna be around for a while. And when I have a good idea, I pace. I pace furiously, and I was pacing a lot in preparation for the next episode. And that's how I knew I was gonna keep doing it, 'cause I was pacing, I loved... well. This was the first episode I actually tried showing people other than me. And it was helpful, especially showing my little brother, who was a ghostwriter for a lot of the early episodes. We were still working out the bugs, obviously, on episode two, but here it is. The second episode: "Paparazzi" by Lady Gaga.[Review] LADY GAGA – PAPARAZZI A pop song review[Todd plays "Paparazzi" on the piano]
Friends, there is a plague sweeping this nation of ours, reeking havoc on the cultural landscape, leaving nothing but destruction in its wake! A plague known only as Lady Gaga.
[Clip: "Poker Face" by Lady Gaga]
And no, this is not a mere trifle to be taken lightly. This is a serious problem, friends. More proof? Well, I got proof.
[Clip: Chris Daughtry performing "Poker Face"]
[Clip: Weezer performing "Poker Face"]
[Clip: Faith No More performing "Poker Face"]
That was Faith No More, guys. If Lady Gaga has become so powerful that she can corrupt the majesty of Mike Patton, we've reached the point of serious concern. But the cover version of "Poker Face" that bothers me the most is by Lady Gaga.
[Clip: Lady Gaga performing "Poker Face"]
You may not know this, but Lady Gaga is a Juilliard-trained child prodigy, and it really does show in this video. If you watch this video enough times, you'll notice two very important things: one, Lady Gaga is ridiculously talented and two, Lady Gaga is Satan. I'm not kidding. This video scares me to death.I am marvelous[Todd covers his head] Ah! Don't eat me!
I knew that "Poker Face" was already a fairly evil song to begin with, but this makes it so much worse. Maybe it's that she's dressed like a Final Fantasy villain for no reason, or those weird, bug-like motions, or maybe it's just the fact that you can't see her eyes. What kind of person makes some creepy, weird video of themselves where you can't see their eyes‽ [Todd turns to the camera] That's just crazy, right‽
But I think what bothers me the most is that she could've been making these genuinely impressive torch songs forever, but instead she chooses to make music like this:
[Clip: "LoveGame" by Lady Gaga]Have some fun, this beat is sick
I wanna take a ride on your disco stickAnd therein lies the great paradox of Lady Gaga: she's too smart, too talented to make bad pop music, but she's too shallow to not make bad pop music, and the only way she can deal with this is to become this over-the-top, semi-ironic caricature of pop stardom. Which is a great, original idea which no one's ever thought of before.
[Clip: "Hollaback Girl" by Gwen Stefani]
[Clip: "Vogue" by Madonna]
[Clip: "Let's Dance" by David Bowie]
Okay, maybe some people have thought of it before. But if there's something on which I can agree with even the dumbest pop stars, it's that we all hate the paparazzi.
[Clip: "Paparazzi" by Lady Gaga]
The paparazzi are worthless. They are the scum-sucking bottom-feeders of the entertainment world. If you had to rank the showbiz hierarchy, the paparazzi would be way at the bottom. And of course, right at the top are reviewers like myself. So, if Lady Gaga is going to focus her terrifying demonic energy on somebody, I'm glad it's those parasites. Go get 'em, Lady Gaga.Papa—paparazzi"Pop a paparazzi." You mean like "pop 'em"? Pop 'em one right in the face? Yeah. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. I can get behind this.Baby there's no other superstar, you know that I'll be
Your papa—paparazziWait...Promise I'll be kind
But I won't stop until that boy is mine
Baby, you'll be famous, chase you down until you love me
Papa—paparazzi[Todd defeatedly lays his head onto his piano]
Todd: Why am I even surprised‽ Why am I surprised? She's so vapidly in love with celebrity culture that she even loves the paparazzi. What is wrong with this woman‽ Paparazzi are the enemy! They made a whole movie—
—about how the paparazzi wanna destroy your life and eat your soul and they're going to enjoy doing it.
[Clip: "Paparazzi" (2004)]I want to destroy your life and eat your soul, and I can't wait to do it.And what's this "I'm your biggest fan" nonsense?I'm your biggest fan, I'll follow you until you love meThe average paparazzo isn't assaulting Megan Fox at the airport or digging through Brad Pitt's garbage because they really, really like them. They just want a paycheck, Lady Gaga. You know that, right‽ You know what the paparazzi are, right‽ Do you even know the definition of the word‽Not sure what it meansWell, that clears that up. You know, I'm not against stalker songs, per se. I mean, I love "Every Breath You Take," everyone does. But "Paparazzi" – I can't seem to figure out what the metaphor of the song actually is. I mean, look:Got my flash on, it's true, need that picture of youShe's a paparazzo.I'm your biggest fan, I'll follow you until you love meNo, she's an obsessed fan.Leather and jeans, garage glamorous
Not sure what it means, but this photo of usShe's a fellow celebrity.I'll be your girl, backstage at your showShe's a groupie.Real good, we're dancing in the studio
Snap, snap to that shit on the radioShe's a blithering idiot. I don't know! Why am I even trying to look this deeply at it‽ The more I peel back the layers of Lady Gaga, the less I find! My only conclusion is that there's just nothing there. She just wants to conquer us all with her evil powers and use our skins as fabric for her endless array of stupid outfits! I mean, I'd like to think that she was a flash in the pan that's gonna burn herself out by next year, but I'm honestly worried that she's in this for the long haul. Is there nothing we can do about this woman before it's too late‽
[Clip: Man in "Paparazzi" video pushes Gaga over the balcony]
Well, that works.
[Closing tag song: "Radio Ga Ga" by Electric Six] THE END "Paparazzi" is owned by Interscope Records, and this video is owned by me