How to climb a tree by Tipsy Duck Lyrics

[Tim]
Hi, it's Tim and Kim and Jim
Here's a story that is rather grim
What's to do for a party of three?

[Jim]
What's that Tim?

[Tim]
It's to climb a tree!
Firstly find a tree that's up to play ball
That's too tall
That's too small
Put your leg on a branch
But be careful you don't hear a cranch
Cause if "ifs" and "buts" were candies and nuts
You're gonna fall off and break your legs

[Kim]
Ahh!
[Tim]
Now now, Kim, what did I say? Climbing trees is far from child's play.

[Kim]
This isn't a joke! You can clearly see the bone!

[Jim]
That's probably not your funny bone, because this shit ain't funny.

[Tim]
Our mothers warned us about this, didn't they?

[Jim]
Tim?

[Tim]
They said, "No climbing trees today kids, someone might get hurt." What did we do? We didn't listen. We are the ones to blame.

[Jim]
What are you talking about? We have to help him.

[Tim]
You're not thinking of the consequences. What would our fathers do if one of us came back with a broken leg? We could end up with one of our one, Jim.

[Jim]
What are you suggesting, then?
Oh no
[Tim]
Have you ever put a dog down, Jim? A three legged puppy is not a happy puppy.

[Kim]
Dude, I- I think I'm fine. The bone's healing! Heheheheh! I can probably stand up! Gah!

[Tim]
Jim, tonight we bond like lovers, through their first-born.

If anyone asks, tell them it was an accident.

Hey, I'm Tim and this is Jim, and we never knew anyone named Kim.