About Maine Humor by Tim Sample Lyrics
Before we go too far
I've got to explain just a little bit
About the type of humor I'm going to be doing tonight
Now this is Maine humor
And as such it ain't the kind you see on television see
Don't start laughing yet it's gonna get funnier
It ain't the kind where the fella
See he tells a joke and then they laugh
Then a joke and then they laugh
It ain't like that see
A lot of this is going right over your head
Now it ain't that it ain't funny
You just don't get it
You might find, see what I mean
At the time of the program
You might find that you don't laugh all that much
You know right at the time
That's understandable, that's the type of humor I do see
But you've got to be awful careful driving home
We've had them go right off the road up on 201
Just like that see
Or even two, three weeks later see you
You be out to a restaurant or something
And something will strike you a little bit funny
You start chortling and then they'll slap the Heimlich manuever on you
And its quite embarassing
Another thing about Maine humor
To kind of differentiate it from this other kind
Is in Maine humor
It isn't exactly what you say
So much as what you leave out what's important
I give you an example
My uncle's got this store up to Eastport
Now um, how many's ever been to Eastport
Now wait a minute before we go too far
I got to explain another thing
When I ask you a question
Like you know how many's ever been up to Eastport or something
What I'm looking for is audience response
You see
I don't really care if you've been to Eastport
I just wanna feel like you're with me
Now how many here's been to Eastport c'mon
Now I don't mean to pry but why did you go
Now I love Eastport
I go every year to the vacant building festival
Now Unc has got a little store up to Eastport
Just says Unc's Store
Now he's got this little store and he sits there rocking most of the time
He's got two big windows on either side of the door
With them little panes in the windows
And on each one of the windows it says (?)
(?) that's what it says
They thought when he moved in it was one of them cults
You know some (?)
It used to say (?) but some of the letters dripped
Well Unc he was sitting out there one afternoon
Just sitting there with one arm as long as the other
And one of these big cars pulled up right in front of the store
And the fella rolled the window down
He seen Unc sitting there
And of course right alongside Unc there was a dog
Fairly large sized, I'd say 20-30 pounds sitting there snoozing away
Nevertheless, fella thought he'd be cautious
And he uh leaned out the window
He says "s'cuse me" he said
"Does your dog bite?"
Well uh, Unc says no, that dog don't bite
Fella felt kind of secure
Opened this door and stepped out
Took 2,3 steps there
And about the third step that dog woke right up
And jumped off, took a muckle right out of his thigh
He jumped back in the car
Rolled the window back down, says
"I thought you said your dog don't bite"
Well, said Unc
Mine don't but that one does right there
I've got to explain just a little bit
About the type of humor I'm going to be doing tonight
Now this is Maine humor
And as such it ain't the kind you see on television see
Don't start laughing yet it's gonna get funnier
It ain't the kind where the fella
See he tells a joke and then they laugh
Then a joke and then they laugh
It ain't like that see
A lot of this is going right over your head
Now it ain't that it ain't funny
You just don't get it
You might find, see what I mean
At the time of the program
You might find that you don't laugh all that much
You know right at the time
That's understandable, that's the type of humor I do see
But you've got to be awful careful driving home
We've had them go right off the road up on 201
Just like that see
Or even two, three weeks later see you
You be out to a restaurant or something
And something will strike you a little bit funny
You start chortling and then they'll slap the Heimlich manuever on you
And its quite embarassing
Another thing about Maine humor
To kind of differentiate it from this other kind
Is in Maine humor
It isn't exactly what you say
So much as what you leave out what's important
I give you an example
My uncle's got this store up to Eastport
Now um, how many's ever been to Eastport
Now wait a minute before we go too far
I got to explain another thing
When I ask you a question
Like you know how many's ever been up to Eastport or something
What I'm looking for is audience response
You see
I don't really care if you've been to Eastport
I just wanna feel like you're with me
Now how many here's been to Eastport c'mon
Now I don't mean to pry but why did you go
Now I love Eastport
I go every year to the vacant building festival
Now Unc has got a little store up to Eastport
Just says Unc's Store
Now he's got this little store and he sits there rocking most of the time
He's got two big windows on either side of the door
With them little panes in the windows
And on each one of the windows it says (?)
(?) that's what it says
They thought when he moved in it was one of them cults
You know some (?)
It used to say (?) but some of the letters dripped
Well Unc he was sitting out there one afternoon
Just sitting there with one arm as long as the other
And one of these big cars pulled up right in front of the store
And the fella rolled the window down
He seen Unc sitting there
And of course right alongside Unc there was a dog
Fairly large sized, I'd say 20-30 pounds sitting there snoozing away
Nevertheless, fella thought he'd be cautious
And he uh leaned out the window
He says "s'cuse me" he said
"Does your dog bite?"
Well uh, Unc says no, that dog don't bite
Fella felt kind of secure
Opened this door and stepped out
Took 2,3 steps there
And about the third step that dog woke right up
And jumped off, took a muckle right out of his thigh
He jumped back in the car
Rolled the window back down, says
"I thought you said your dog don't bite"
Well, said Unc
Mine don't but that one does right there