They Call Me Mr Snips by Tim Cameron Lyrics

They call me Mr Snips
Fond of sinking ships
Ah, but don't hold that against me, I implore
I hear they sing my praise
When they brave my waves
As if prayer could make the fish forgive the shore

How you scrape and fawn, with your cassocks on;
Such a waste of breath, your childish piety
For if I ever heed your call, you'll wonder why you called at all
Hey, every ship is bound to sink eventually!

Am I the perfect god?
I never ride rough-shod
Upon your grudges or lascivious delights
And you can scream my name whenever you're in ecstasy or pain
And no lightning bolt will strip you of your sight

Ah, but I will claim my dues
A bond you can't refuse
When the cloud begins to glower on the sea
And soon, I'm going to rip your sails
Falling round your legs like wedding veils
Hey, you can run, but in the end you'll come to me
Oh god, we're going down!
Maybe it is not too bad to drown
If you don't fight, it can be peaceful, I have heard
But what's that shadow now, rising off the port and starboard bow?
It's a mountain, it's a monster, it's absurd!

Oh tell me what you want, my lord!
Say the word, I'll be your sword!
Take my faith if you'll just save me and my girl!
Well, I never met an atheist at sea
But if you want to pray, don't pray to me:
I'm just the biggest fucking lobster in the world!

On the killing swell
Tiny caravels
Crave my mercy as they battle with the waves
But soft, you godly fools
Sweet little dumplings in my gruel
Unless you hunger for a cruel inconstant grave!