I’m Not Okay Remix by TheDamianBro Lyrics
I’m feeling like I’m going under
And my happy face is my only cover
To the pain I’m searching for a sweet surrender
What I’ve gained is nothing to be proud over
I know people that have been through a lot worse
People prolly thinking this is just gods curse
But he’s always on our side put that first
Even if it feels like stuffs just getting worse
I never had a thought of depression
Til I was bout 11 but I’m just scared to mention it
Don’t wanna sound like a pessimist
But that’s only way I can think of addressing this
I don’t want anybody stressing this
Im not okay but I’m pretty sure I’m progressing
I’m just locked in a detention
Feeling like my life just wants me to pay attention
I probably need meds but I’m scared of it
Cause I know I probably won’t take proper care of it
Imma be real with you, yeah imma share something
Drug abuse has been in family for years and years coming
And I can feel the fear humming
Every time I talk about it all feel are my legs running
And I can feel my heart drumming
Every time I look the mirror like what am I becoming
I can’t escape it
I’m trying to erase it
Trying to erase while being very abrasive
Tryna win the race but being very dissuasive
All I feel is pain and all I do is berate
Myself into to shame
Or into hate
I’m always find the key to the gate
And I know that the key is stuck in my brain
But I just can’t find it I’m prolly going insane
Stand for what you believe in
But I don’t even know what’s real all I ever do is grieve (yeah)
Want my thoughts to leave (yeah)
But I never wanna vent I just wanna retreat
I don’t want to be here
But I’d leave everyone behind for seemingly no reason
I wish I could cleave
Deep down in my heart I know that there’s peace
(Chorus:)
I’m not okay
I’m not okay
I’m not okay
I’m not okay
(Verse 2:)
Life’s had me knocked down for a while
OCD Anxiety and stress is on me like a dog pile
Walking down a dark road for a long mile
Acting like I’m happy, yeah see this? It’s just my clown smile
Putting on a fake face, yeah that’s just my style
Always keeping all my darkness a low profile
Keeping the storm away from me like the Golden Isles
Always feeling I’m fighting it, but with no trial
White tile, always feels like I’m touching it
Playing with the keys, but I’ve had enough of it
There’s always drama and I’m caught up in the just of it
Gotta fake being happy just to cover it
Cover it, cover it, you are not suffering
Gotta say this to myself and preach it like a reverend
Gotta say this to myself the pain it will never end
Gotta say this to myself the fakeness it won’t ever end
And I know one day it’ll get to me
And I don’t have plan for that but until then I need to breathe
I need to breathe and need to be figuring out this monstrosity
That I call life I needa figure out what’s gotten into me
And possibly figure out who I am
To actually believe
That if I leave this earth all pain inside of me will be relieved
Cause it’ll pass to someone else and it’ll cause their heart to bleed
But its hard to believe that one day I might actually succeed
And my happy face is my only cover
To the pain I’m searching for a sweet surrender
What I’ve gained is nothing to be proud over
I know people that have been through a lot worse
People prolly thinking this is just gods curse
But he’s always on our side put that first
Even if it feels like stuffs just getting worse
I never had a thought of depression
Til I was bout 11 but I’m just scared to mention it
Don’t wanna sound like a pessimist
But that’s only way I can think of addressing this
I don’t want anybody stressing this
Im not okay but I’m pretty sure I’m progressing
I’m just locked in a detention
Feeling like my life just wants me to pay attention
I probably need meds but I’m scared of it
Cause I know I probably won’t take proper care of it
Imma be real with you, yeah imma share something
Drug abuse has been in family for years and years coming
And I can feel the fear humming
Every time I talk about it all feel are my legs running
And I can feel my heart drumming
Every time I look the mirror like what am I becoming
I can’t escape it
I’m trying to erase it
Trying to erase while being very abrasive
Tryna win the race but being very dissuasive
All I feel is pain and all I do is berate
Myself into to shame
Or into hate
I’m always find the key to the gate
And I know that the key is stuck in my brain
But I just can’t find it I’m prolly going insane
Stand for what you believe in
But I don’t even know what’s real all I ever do is grieve (yeah)
Want my thoughts to leave (yeah)
But I never wanna vent I just wanna retreat
I don’t want to be here
But I’d leave everyone behind for seemingly no reason
I wish I could cleave
Deep down in my heart I know that there’s peace
(Chorus:)
I’m not okay
I’m not okay
I’m not okay
I’m not okay
(Verse 2:)
Life’s had me knocked down for a while
OCD Anxiety and stress is on me like a dog pile
Walking down a dark road for a long mile
Acting like I’m happy, yeah see this? It’s just my clown smile
Putting on a fake face, yeah that’s just my style
Always keeping all my darkness a low profile
Keeping the storm away from me like the Golden Isles
Always feeling I’m fighting it, but with no trial
White tile, always feels like I’m touching it
Playing with the keys, but I’ve had enough of it
There’s always drama and I’m caught up in the just of it
Gotta fake being happy just to cover it
Cover it, cover it, you are not suffering
Gotta say this to myself and preach it like a reverend
Gotta say this to myself the pain it will never end
Gotta say this to myself the fakeness it won’t ever end
And I know one day it’ll get to me
And I don’t have plan for that but until then I need to breathe
I need to breathe and need to be figuring out this monstrosity
That I call life I needa figure out what’s gotten into me
And possibly figure out who I am
To actually believe
That if I leave this earth all pain inside of me will be relieved
Cause it’ll pass to someone else and it’ll cause their heart to bleed
But its hard to believe that one day I might actually succeed