1-900-ILU-VYOU by The Vindictives Lyrics

Saw her picture in the paper
Along with a 900 number
I thought we'd chit-chat on the phone
Instead, you said you'd come right over

Bursting in, you forced me down
Kneeling over me, grinning
Worked me up and tied me down
I asked you what you wanted for dinner

Crammed her crotchless panties in my mouth
(Oh yeah, yeah, yeah)
Humped her shiny love patch in my face
(Oh yeah, yeah, yeah)
Smudged her creaming honey on my nose
(Oh yeah, yeah, yeah)
I wondered if she wanted to go to the show

Worked me over fifty ways
But she wasn't even perspiring
If I miss work for three more days
I know that I'm gonna get fired
Plotting, probing my rear opening
While lubricating her strap-on
Face down, working up the nerve
To ask her home to meet my mom

Crammed her crotchless panties in my mouth
(Oh yeah, yeah, yeah)
Humped her shiny love patch in my face
(Oh yeah, yeah, yeah)
Smudged her creaming honey on my nose
(Oh yeah, yeah, yeah)
I wondered if she wanted to go for a stroll

I had no one, I had nothing
So lonely all of the time
Now I've got me a nympho girl
To be my valentine

She's an angel, she's a demon
Extra-extraordinary
Wonder when she'll call me back
Gonna ask her if she wants to get married

Crammed her crotchless panties in my mouth
(Oh yeah, yeah, yeah)
Humped her shiny love patch in my face
(Oh yeah, yeah, yeah)
Smudged her creaming honey on my nose
(Oh yeah, yeah, yeah)
I wondered if she wanted to go bowling
Yeah!