SCP-3579 by The SCP Foundation Lyrics
Item #: SCP-3579
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: Any physical instances of SCP-3579-1 are to be taken down by undercover Foundation personnel, disguised as working men and women. Any website hosting digital instances of SCP-3579-1 are to be remotely changed as to not feature SCP-3579-1. All calls to SCP-3579 are to be traced and ended if possible. Research of SCP-3579 is only to be conducted by Level 2 staff using a cell phone with the phone number of SCP-3579 on speed-dial, kept in storeroom 24 of Site-15.
Description: SCP-3579 is a telephone operated service running under the name “Insta-Gator,” using the telephone number 1-800-███-████. At random intervals, advertisements featuring SCP-3579 will appear in major cities. These are identified as SCP-3579-1. Instances of SCP-3579-1 will feature the phone number associated with SCP-3579 and the tag line: "Need some help with a troublemaker? Wish you could just eliminate 'er? We'll be your problem solving crusader. Just call us at Insta-Gator!"
SCP-3579-2
When the number associated with SCP-3579 is called, a pre-recorded voice asks the caller to name a destination. When a valid destination is spoken into the phone, the pre-recorded message asks them to press a number on their phone to select an amount of alligators and a special request for an extra fee. When a number from one through nine is pressed, a corresponding amount of fully grown, live American alligators (Alligator mississippiensis), identified as SCP-3579-2 will enter the specified area through any body of water within 10 m of identified location, and attempt to fulfill the request. If no water is within the 10 m radius, a small puddle which expands to accommodate the amount of alligators will form. If nothing is requested, instances of SCP-3579-2 will remain hostile. After 10 minutes, any instance of SCP-3579-2 currently not in the water will attempt to return to the body of water, into which they will dematerialize. If the body of water was created by SCP-3579, it will dissipate into water vapour.
Instances of SCP-3579-2 display various anomalies compared to regular American alligators. Instances of SCP-3579-2 are always male, exactly 4 metres long, and visually exact to any other instance of SCP-3579-2. If kept outside of a body of water for more that 5 minutes, instances of SCP-3579-2 will suffer myocardial infarction, causing them to cease life functions. Recent scans of the DNA of multiple instances of SCP-3579-2 concluded that each instance has identical genetic makeup.
The location that SCP-3579 operates from is currently unknown.
Test Log:
Test 3579-01
Location chosen: ███████ Wetlands, Louisiana
Amount requested: Six
Objects present: None
Special request: None
Purpose: Initial test of the capabilities of SCP-3579
Result: Six instances of SCP-3579-2 violently thrashed out of the water in a tight circle and constantly leaped and attacked the air above them for ten minutes before returning to the water.
Test 3579-02
Location chosen: Pond within Biological Research Site-104
Amount requested: Two
Objects present: Two Class-D personnel. D-3579-01 standing next to the pond, and D-3579-02 standing 15 metres away.
Special request: Attack the Class-D personnel.
Purpose: Test if SCP-3579 can manifest instances of SCP-3579-2 in a closed environment as well as test SCP-3579-2's hostility towards humans.
Result: Two instances of SCP-3579-2 crawled out of the pond. The first immediately attacked D-3579-01, while the second chased down D-3579-02 and attacked. Both instances of SCP-3579-2 killed their respective Class-D personnel and returned to the pond after ten minutes.
Researcher's Note: Well, that was… gruesome. Remind me to keep that number secure. Ick. -Dr. L█████
Test 3579-03
Location chosen: 'Beside me' (Within a research laboratory in Site-15)
Amount requested: One
Objects present: A live pig.
Special request: None
Purpose: Test to see if SCP-3579-2 can manifest itself without a water source as well as its hostility towards animals.
Result: A small puddle formed on the floor of the lab beside Dr. L█████. Despite the puddle not being deep at all, an instance of SCP-3579-2 emerged from it, with its body half submerged as it thrashed. It did not attempt to eat the pig.
Researcher's Note: Seems these things won't actively hunt unless told to. -Dr. L█████
Test 3579-04
Location chosen: A bowl of water within a two-roomed research laboratory in Site-15
Amount requested: Three
Objects present: A remotely closed door between the two rooms.
Special request: Enter the second room.
Purpose: Test SCP-3579-2's lifespan out of water.
Result: Three instances of SCP-3579-2 dove from the bowl, two of which attacked the Class-D personnel standing near the doorway and later returned into the bowl. The third instance traversed to D-3579-05 and attacked them. The doorway was locked down while the instance of SCP-3579-2 was in the room without the bowl. After five minutes of being trapped, the instance of SCP-3579-2 suffered myocardial infarction and died.
Test 3579-05
Location chosen: Within a research laboratory in Site-15
Amount requested: One
Objects present: A clipboard with a research notes page placed on the ground, SCP-1161 left open in a display case.
Special request: Research SCP-1161.
Purpose: See if SCP-3579-2 has non-destructive purposes.
Result: A sink within the lab turned itself on, filling with water. A single instance of SCP-3579-2 climbed out, and calmly crawled towards the clipboard and SCP-1161. After being hunched over the clipboard for about 4 minutes, the instance of SCP-3579-2 climbed back into the sink. The clipboard was filled out, in scrawny handwriting.
Name: instent algator
Researching: scp one one six one
Observations: had werds 'how to build a shelf' and instructshuns on how to bild one.
The rest of the document is blank.
Researcher's Note: Huh, this could have a somewhat useful purpose. -Dr. L█████
Test 3579-06
Location chosen: Surface of Lunar Area-32
Amount requested: One
Objects present: None
Special Request: None
Purpose: [REDACTED]
Result: A small puddle of liquid water formed on the lunar surface, and one instance of SCP-3579-2 leaped from it, immediately suffocating due to the vacuum of space. The puddle dissipated without SCP-3579-2 returning to it.
Researcher's Note: Who's idea was this? -Dr. L█████
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: Any physical instances of SCP-3579-1 are to be taken down by undercover Foundation personnel, disguised as working men and women. Any website hosting digital instances of SCP-3579-1 are to be remotely changed as to not feature SCP-3579-1. All calls to SCP-3579 are to be traced and ended if possible. Research of SCP-3579 is only to be conducted by Level 2 staff using a cell phone with the phone number of SCP-3579 on speed-dial, kept in storeroom 24 of Site-15.
Description: SCP-3579 is a telephone operated service running under the name “Insta-Gator,” using the telephone number 1-800-███-████. At random intervals, advertisements featuring SCP-3579 will appear in major cities. These are identified as SCP-3579-1. Instances of SCP-3579-1 will feature the phone number associated with SCP-3579 and the tag line: "Need some help with a troublemaker? Wish you could just eliminate 'er? We'll be your problem solving crusader. Just call us at Insta-Gator!"
SCP-3579-2
When the number associated with SCP-3579 is called, a pre-recorded voice asks the caller to name a destination. When a valid destination is spoken into the phone, the pre-recorded message asks them to press a number on their phone to select an amount of alligators and a special request for an extra fee. When a number from one through nine is pressed, a corresponding amount of fully grown, live American alligators (Alligator mississippiensis), identified as SCP-3579-2 will enter the specified area through any body of water within 10 m of identified location, and attempt to fulfill the request. If no water is within the 10 m radius, a small puddle which expands to accommodate the amount of alligators will form. If nothing is requested, instances of SCP-3579-2 will remain hostile. After 10 minutes, any instance of SCP-3579-2 currently not in the water will attempt to return to the body of water, into which they will dematerialize. If the body of water was created by SCP-3579, it will dissipate into water vapour.
Instances of SCP-3579-2 display various anomalies compared to regular American alligators. Instances of SCP-3579-2 are always male, exactly 4 metres long, and visually exact to any other instance of SCP-3579-2. If kept outside of a body of water for more that 5 minutes, instances of SCP-3579-2 will suffer myocardial infarction, causing them to cease life functions. Recent scans of the DNA of multiple instances of SCP-3579-2 concluded that each instance has identical genetic makeup.
The location that SCP-3579 operates from is currently unknown.
Test Log:
Test 3579-01
Location chosen: ███████ Wetlands, Louisiana
Amount requested: Six
Objects present: None
Special request: None
Purpose: Initial test of the capabilities of SCP-3579
Result: Six instances of SCP-3579-2 violently thrashed out of the water in a tight circle and constantly leaped and attacked the air above them for ten minutes before returning to the water.
Test 3579-02
Location chosen: Pond within Biological Research Site-104
Amount requested: Two
Objects present: Two Class-D personnel. D-3579-01 standing next to the pond, and D-3579-02 standing 15 metres away.
Special request: Attack the Class-D personnel.
Purpose: Test if SCP-3579 can manifest instances of SCP-3579-2 in a closed environment as well as test SCP-3579-2's hostility towards humans.
Result: Two instances of SCP-3579-2 crawled out of the pond. The first immediately attacked D-3579-01, while the second chased down D-3579-02 and attacked. Both instances of SCP-3579-2 killed their respective Class-D personnel and returned to the pond after ten minutes.
Researcher's Note: Well, that was… gruesome. Remind me to keep that number secure. Ick. -Dr. L█████
Test 3579-03
Location chosen: 'Beside me' (Within a research laboratory in Site-15)
Amount requested: One
Objects present: A live pig.
Special request: None
Purpose: Test to see if SCP-3579-2 can manifest itself without a water source as well as its hostility towards animals.
Result: A small puddle formed on the floor of the lab beside Dr. L█████. Despite the puddle not being deep at all, an instance of SCP-3579-2 emerged from it, with its body half submerged as it thrashed. It did not attempt to eat the pig.
Researcher's Note: Seems these things won't actively hunt unless told to. -Dr. L█████
Test 3579-04
Location chosen: A bowl of water within a two-roomed research laboratory in Site-15
Amount requested: Three
Objects present: A remotely closed door between the two rooms.
Special request: Enter the second room.
Purpose: Test SCP-3579-2's lifespan out of water.
Result: Three instances of SCP-3579-2 dove from the bowl, two of which attacked the Class-D personnel standing near the doorway and later returned into the bowl. The third instance traversed to D-3579-05 and attacked them. The doorway was locked down while the instance of SCP-3579-2 was in the room without the bowl. After five minutes of being trapped, the instance of SCP-3579-2 suffered myocardial infarction and died.
Test 3579-05
Location chosen: Within a research laboratory in Site-15
Amount requested: One
Objects present: A clipboard with a research notes page placed on the ground, SCP-1161 left open in a display case.
Special request: Research SCP-1161.
Purpose: See if SCP-3579-2 has non-destructive purposes.
Result: A sink within the lab turned itself on, filling with water. A single instance of SCP-3579-2 climbed out, and calmly crawled towards the clipboard and SCP-1161. After being hunched over the clipboard for about 4 minutes, the instance of SCP-3579-2 climbed back into the sink. The clipboard was filled out, in scrawny handwriting.
Name: instent algator
Researching: scp one one six one
Observations: had werds 'how to build a shelf' and instructshuns on how to bild one.
The rest of the document is blank.
Researcher's Note: Huh, this could have a somewhat useful purpose. -Dr. L█████
Test 3579-06
Location chosen: Surface of Lunar Area-32
Amount requested: One
Objects present: None
Special Request: None
Purpose: [REDACTED]
Result: A small puddle of liquid water formed on the lunar surface, and one instance of SCP-3579-2 leaped from it, immediately suffocating due to the vacuum of space. The puddle dissipated without SCP-3579-2 returning to it.
Researcher's Note: Who's idea was this? -Dr. L█████