SCP-2476 by The SCP Foundation Lyrics
Personnel Warning
The following document was created under the influence of a cognihazardous affect specialising in the alteration of perceived information. Information in this document is not to be discerned as truth. A revised document has been made available to personnel with clearance. It is advised to those assigned to this SCP item to read this document in-order to acquire a better understanding of its cognihazardous components.
Knight #: SIR-2476 the Safe
Mr_MPATHG.jpg
SIR-2476. Dressed in its original robes and armour.
Special Chamber Requirements: SIR-2476 is kept in a humanoid containment tower at Site-17 castle. Questioning in interviews with SIR-2476 are to kept to a minimum, in-order to prevent the activation of its primary enchantment. SIR-2476 is to be fed on a diet consisting of ham, canned pork and any type of jam as a condiment. SIR-2476 has been allowed to keep a potted shrubbery in its chamber of its own request.
Description: SIR-2476 is a human male in its early thirties, biologically identical to the late film actor Graham Arthur Chapman. SIR-2476 is prone to occasional episodes of hostility, where it will insult personnel in a French accent and insist they leave its presence, under the threat of further taunting. Apart from these episodes, SIR-2476 is generally cooperative with Foundation staff. The words "Mr. Monty Python And The Holy Grail, by Gamers Against Weed” are tattooed across SIR-2476’s left thigh.
SIR-2476 displays a number of enchantments relating to the 1975 film 'Monty Python and the Holy Grail' by the British comedy group, Monty Python. SIR-2476 is only capable of verbal communication through the use of words used in the manuscript of the film. SIR-2476 is able to recite the script of the film in its entirety, including dialogue, descriptions, actions and both beginning and ending credits. SIR-2476 is unable to speak any words outside of the script, despite multiple attempts.
When speaking for extended periods of time, SIR-2476 will begin dictating lines from the films script in-order, and proceed to recite the remainder in its entirety. SIR-2476 will begin reciting from a point in the script where the last word(s) it spoke was used. Anyone speaking with SIR-2476, or anyone else involved in the conversation at the time of the effects activation will join in with the recital. SIR-2476 and those affected will speak the dialogue of a varying set of characters through the entire recital. Subjects will take turns to speak the script's descriptions and actions. The beginning and ending credits will always be recited by SIR-2476. Those affected are unable to recall the events which took place while under SIR-2476’s effects.
Initial interview log
The following is a partial interview performed by Brother Belle shortly after the recovery of SIR-2476.
+Interview Log 2476-1
Document 2476-8745
The following document was recovered from the village of ███████ upon locating SIR-2476. It is reproduced below in its entirety.
Jesus Christ! You've just found yourself your very own Sir Monty Python And The Holy Grail by the Holy order of Knights Against Weed! It's only a model. Who is King Wondertainment?
Gather them all and become Sir Gamer!
01. Sir Literal Serial Killer
02. Sir Normie
03. Sir Sanders
04. Sir Get Anything For Free In Any Shop
20. Sir. Sex Number
21. Sir Heavenly Virtues
22. Sir Deadly Sins
23. Sir Original Character
24. Sir D.A.R.E.
25. Sir Gentrification
26. Sir. Mad About Video Games
27. Sir Meme
28. Sir Ominous (discontinued)
29. Sir Destiny
30. Sir Monty Python And The Holy Grail ✔
31. Lady Zapatista
32. Sir Hax
33. Sir Just Has The Tattoo
34. Sir Top Text and Sir Bottom Text
35. Sir Finale
36. Sir Not Appearing In This Series
Revised document:
Item #: SCP-2476
Object Class: Euclid
spanishinqu.jpg
SCP-2476 in its original outfit, prior to containment.
Special Containment procedures: All information regarding SCP-2476 may only be made available to Level 3 personnel who are currently studying SCP-2476. Personnel studying SCP-2476 are to first be directly shown SCP-2476's anomalous properties directly in-order to prevent the spread of its SCP-2476-1.
SCP-2476 is kept in a humanoid containment cell at Site-17. SCP-2476 has no special medical or dietary requirements.
Description: SCP-2476 is a human male in its mid twenties. SCP-2476 is prone to occasional episodes of extreme hostility, where it will demand personnel to conform to its desires, under the threat of extreme violence. Apart from these episodes, SCP-2476 is generally cooperative with Foundation staff. The words "Mr. Spanish Inquisition, by Gamers Against Weed” are tattooed across SCP-2476’s left thigh.
SCP-2476-1 is a cognitohazard affecting those who have not learned of SCP-2476's alias by reading its tattoo, or have not yet perceived it's anomalous properties occur directly. Under these circumstances, information subjects learn will be falsified to fit the theme of the 1975 film Monty Python And The Holy Grail. Fabrications caused by SCP-2476-1 vary depending on the type of information learned and will persist with each subject. Subjects will continue to experience SCP-2476-1 as they learn more information regarding SCP-2476, and will only cease once they have perceived SCP-2476's actual anomalous properties in action.
SCP-2476 suffers from extreme delusions regarding instruments and objects capabilities to inflict harm on others, believing items of a safe and benign nature to instead be the most effective. All instruments utilised by SCP-2476 which under regular circumstances would be effective in inflicting physical harm and injuries to others will become completely ineffective. SCP-2476 will utilise whatever instrument it uses in a highly ineffective manner, preventing the target from receiving any physical pain whatsoever. Notable delusions include perceiving a bat to be a baguette and a pair of knives to be a pair of sofa cushions.
Recovery: SCP-2476 was originally detained on the 11th of January 2017, when Foundation web crawlers located the use of the phrases Gamers Against Weed and Mr. Monty Python And The Holy Grail on numerous social networking accounts mentioning an unknown individual in ██████, North Carolina, United States who had caused several public disturbances. SCP-2476 was located in a nearby book store when retrieved, dressed in an outfit resembling that of the Spanish Inquisition costumes used in the Monty Python sketches of the same name, attempting to attack a cashier ineffectively with a desk lamp, for selling ‘unorthodox’ reading material. Foundation agents were able to detain it without incident. Amnestics were dispatched to all witnesses effectively.
SCP-2476-1 became apparent after multiple Foundation personnel were informed of SCP-2476s recovery by agents. Temporary containment was prepared for SCP-2476 based upon falsified information given to Foundation personnel. Personnel were met with surprise upon SCP-2476's arrival due to its unexpected affects. All personnel involved were given amnestic treatment.
Interview Log
The following is a partial interview performed by Dr. Belle several days after the recovery of SCP-2476.
- Access Granted
SCP-2476: Oh! hey Doctor Belle! You alright?
Dr. Belle: I'm doing fine, thank you 2476. How are you feeling?
SCP-2476: Good good! I wrote down a load of stuff that you told me to think about the last time we talked.
Dr. Belle: Oh splendid. Are you alright sharing it with me?
SCP-2476: Yep. I thought maybe I could talk about my abilities. I thought about a lot of stuff I believe might explain them.
Dr. Belle: Alright, in your own time.
SCP-2476: I think the reason I was made ended up getting kind of lost somewhere you know? I mean I know the jokes meant to be a play on the whole ‘Spanish inquisition’ thing, but i see it more as something trying to have a deeper meaning than it actually does.
Dr. Belle: Are you referring to the play on peoples expectations your properties cause?
SCP-2476: Yeah. What they do is really funny and I never really got to see how they worked before I came here. Watching those surveillance tapes you guys showed me was a riot! I just think the actual meaning gets lost a bit behind the joke… Can I have my outfit back?
Dr. Belle: Sorry, but I told you before, that's not possible.
SCP-2476: Aw.
Dr. Belle: So you think they tried using Monty Python as a way of conveying the idea, but got too caught up in the joke?
SCP-2476: Yes. Don't get me wrong, I love a good laugh. But knowing that gets me a bit down.
Dr. Belle: Do you have any other idea why the process creating you ended up… being so misguided?
SCP-2476: I think they might have decided not to pick what the other misters were gonna be like before making the list. The main motivation was probably to make something funny. Which is a point, I guess. But not a very meaningful one. Oh God that sounded dumb.
Dr. Belle: If you don't want to talk about it now we can always discuss this topic at another time.
SCP-2476: Nah it's fine, I wanna. It's just a bit difficult to talk about at certain points.
Dr. Belle: So what are you saying? Do you not see humor as being that important?
SCP-2476: Oh no, no, no. I mean it more like how they kind of…Agh! This is complicated… Like how the funny stuff isn't really meant to do much in this case, other than be a way to convey something bigger, but ends up being the thing you remember most about it. Yeah I think that's it.
Dr. Belle: How is it that you know about gamers against weed? When we asked about your earliest memories, you said you'd woken up in ██████.
SCP-2476: I remember some things from what I guess you'd call 'before'. They're not really clear memories, more like information I woke up with. I think whatever process they used to make me involved making me partly, then editing aspects of me while I was partly conscious. To see how I behaved. The information I know is from what they mentioned when they were making me, kind of like how when you're a baby you take in things you hear people say.
Dr. Belle: Well thank you, You've managed to give us a lot of helpful information.
SCP-2476: Hehe, you saying you didn't expect it?
Dr. Belle: Ok, you need to settle down.
Document 2476-8745
The following document was found on SCP-2476's person when recovered. It is reproduced below in its entirety.
Holy Heck! You've just found yourself your very own Mr. Spanish Inquisition by Gamers Against Weed! I didn't expect this. Who is Dr. Wondertainment?
Collect them all and become Mr. Gamer!
01. Mr. Literal Serial Killer
02. Mr. Normie
03. Mr. Bernie Sanders
04. Mr. Get Anything For Free In Any Shop
20. Mr. Sex Number
21. Mr. Heavenly Virtues
22. Mr. Deadly Sins
23. Mr. Original Character
24. Mr. D.A.R.E.
25. Mr. Gentrification
26. Mr. Mad About Video Games
27. Mr. Meme
28. Mr. Ominous (discontinued)
29. Mr. Destiny
30. Mr. Spanish Inquisition ✔
31. Ms. Zapatista
32. Mr. Hax
33. Mr. Just Has The Tattoo
34. Mr. Top Text and Mr. Bottom Text
35. Mr. Finale
The following document was created under the influence of a cognihazardous affect specialising in the alteration of perceived information. Information in this document is not to be discerned as truth. A revised document has been made available to personnel with clearance. It is advised to those assigned to this SCP item to read this document in-order to acquire a better understanding of its cognihazardous components.
Knight #: SIR-2476 the Safe
Mr_MPATHG.jpg
SIR-2476. Dressed in its original robes and armour.
Special Chamber Requirements: SIR-2476 is kept in a humanoid containment tower at Site-17 castle. Questioning in interviews with SIR-2476 are to kept to a minimum, in-order to prevent the activation of its primary enchantment. SIR-2476 is to be fed on a diet consisting of ham, canned pork and any type of jam as a condiment. SIR-2476 has been allowed to keep a potted shrubbery in its chamber of its own request.
Description: SIR-2476 is a human male in its early thirties, biologically identical to the late film actor Graham Arthur Chapman. SIR-2476 is prone to occasional episodes of hostility, where it will insult personnel in a French accent and insist they leave its presence, under the threat of further taunting. Apart from these episodes, SIR-2476 is generally cooperative with Foundation staff. The words "Mr. Monty Python And The Holy Grail, by Gamers Against Weed” are tattooed across SIR-2476’s left thigh.
SIR-2476 displays a number of enchantments relating to the 1975 film 'Monty Python and the Holy Grail' by the British comedy group, Monty Python. SIR-2476 is only capable of verbal communication through the use of words used in the manuscript of the film. SIR-2476 is able to recite the script of the film in its entirety, including dialogue, descriptions, actions and both beginning and ending credits. SIR-2476 is unable to speak any words outside of the script, despite multiple attempts.
When speaking for extended periods of time, SIR-2476 will begin dictating lines from the films script in-order, and proceed to recite the remainder in its entirety. SIR-2476 will begin reciting from a point in the script where the last word(s) it spoke was used. Anyone speaking with SIR-2476, or anyone else involved in the conversation at the time of the effects activation will join in with the recital. SIR-2476 and those affected will speak the dialogue of a varying set of characters through the entire recital. Subjects will take turns to speak the script's descriptions and actions. The beginning and ending credits will always be recited by SIR-2476. Those affected are unable to recall the events which took place while under SIR-2476’s effects.
Initial interview log
The following is a partial interview performed by Brother Belle shortly after the recovery of SIR-2476.
+Interview Log 2476-1
Document 2476-8745
The following document was recovered from the village of ███████ upon locating SIR-2476. It is reproduced below in its entirety.
Jesus Christ! You've just found yourself your very own Sir Monty Python And The Holy Grail by the Holy order of Knights Against Weed! It's only a model. Who is King Wondertainment?
Gather them all and become Sir Gamer!
01. Sir Literal Serial Killer
02. Sir Normie
03. Sir Sanders
04. Sir Get Anything For Free In Any Shop
20. Sir. Sex Number
21. Sir Heavenly Virtues
22. Sir Deadly Sins
23. Sir Original Character
24. Sir D.A.R.E.
25. Sir Gentrification
26. Sir. Mad About Video Games
27. Sir Meme
28. Sir Ominous (discontinued)
29. Sir Destiny
30. Sir Monty Python And The Holy Grail ✔
31. Lady Zapatista
32. Sir Hax
33. Sir Just Has The Tattoo
34. Sir Top Text and Sir Bottom Text
35. Sir Finale
36. Sir Not Appearing In This Series
Revised document:
Item #: SCP-2476
Object Class: Euclid
spanishinqu.jpg
SCP-2476 in its original outfit, prior to containment.
Special Containment procedures: All information regarding SCP-2476 may only be made available to Level 3 personnel who are currently studying SCP-2476. Personnel studying SCP-2476 are to first be directly shown SCP-2476's anomalous properties directly in-order to prevent the spread of its SCP-2476-1.
SCP-2476 is kept in a humanoid containment cell at Site-17. SCP-2476 has no special medical or dietary requirements.
Description: SCP-2476 is a human male in its mid twenties. SCP-2476 is prone to occasional episodes of extreme hostility, where it will demand personnel to conform to its desires, under the threat of extreme violence. Apart from these episodes, SCP-2476 is generally cooperative with Foundation staff. The words "Mr. Spanish Inquisition, by Gamers Against Weed” are tattooed across SCP-2476’s left thigh.
SCP-2476-1 is a cognitohazard affecting those who have not learned of SCP-2476's alias by reading its tattoo, or have not yet perceived it's anomalous properties occur directly. Under these circumstances, information subjects learn will be falsified to fit the theme of the 1975 film Monty Python And The Holy Grail. Fabrications caused by SCP-2476-1 vary depending on the type of information learned and will persist with each subject. Subjects will continue to experience SCP-2476-1 as they learn more information regarding SCP-2476, and will only cease once they have perceived SCP-2476's actual anomalous properties in action.
SCP-2476 suffers from extreme delusions regarding instruments and objects capabilities to inflict harm on others, believing items of a safe and benign nature to instead be the most effective. All instruments utilised by SCP-2476 which under regular circumstances would be effective in inflicting physical harm and injuries to others will become completely ineffective. SCP-2476 will utilise whatever instrument it uses in a highly ineffective manner, preventing the target from receiving any physical pain whatsoever. Notable delusions include perceiving a bat to be a baguette and a pair of knives to be a pair of sofa cushions.
Recovery: SCP-2476 was originally detained on the 11th of January 2017, when Foundation web crawlers located the use of the phrases Gamers Against Weed and Mr. Monty Python And The Holy Grail on numerous social networking accounts mentioning an unknown individual in ██████, North Carolina, United States who had caused several public disturbances. SCP-2476 was located in a nearby book store when retrieved, dressed in an outfit resembling that of the Spanish Inquisition costumes used in the Monty Python sketches of the same name, attempting to attack a cashier ineffectively with a desk lamp, for selling ‘unorthodox’ reading material. Foundation agents were able to detain it without incident. Amnestics were dispatched to all witnesses effectively.
SCP-2476-1 became apparent after multiple Foundation personnel were informed of SCP-2476s recovery by agents. Temporary containment was prepared for SCP-2476 based upon falsified information given to Foundation personnel. Personnel were met with surprise upon SCP-2476's arrival due to its unexpected affects. All personnel involved were given amnestic treatment.
Interview Log
The following is a partial interview performed by Dr. Belle several days after the recovery of SCP-2476.
- Access Granted
SCP-2476: Oh! hey Doctor Belle! You alright?
Dr. Belle: I'm doing fine, thank you 2476. How are you feeling?
SCP-2476: Good good! I wrote down a load of stuff that you told me to think about the last time we talked.
Dr. Belle: Oh splendid. Are you alright sharing it with me?
SCP-2476: Yep. I thought maybe I could talk about my abilities. I thought about a lot of stuff I believe might explain them.
Dr. Belle: Alright, in your own time.
SCP-2476: I think the reason I was made ended up getting kind of lost somewhere you know? I mean I know the jokes meant to be a play on the whole ‘Spanish inquisition’ thing, but i see it more as something trying to have a deeper meaning than it actually does.
Dr. Belle: Are you referring to the play on peoples expectations your properties cause?
SCP-2476: Yeah. What they do is really funny and I never really got to see how they worked before I came here. Watching those surveillance tapes you guys showed me was a riot! I just think the actual meaning gets lost a bit behind the joke… Can I have my outfit back?
Dr. Belle: Sorry, but I told you before, that's not possible.
SCP-2476: Aw.
Dr. Belle: So you think they tried using Monty Python as a way of conveying the idea, but got too caught up in the joke?
SCP-2476: Yes. Don't get me wrong, I love a good laugh. But knowing that gets me a bit down.
Dr. Belle: Do you have any other idea why the process creating you ended up… being so misguided?
SCP-2476: I think they might have decided not to pick what the other misters were gonna be like before making the list. The main motivation was probably to make something funny. Which is a point, I guess. But not a very meaningful one. Oh God that sounded dumb.
Dr. Belle: If you don't want to talk about it now we can always discuss this topic at another time.
SCP-2476: Nah it's fine, I wanna. It's just a bit difficult to talk about at certain points.
Dr. Belle: So what are you saying? Do you not see humor as being that important?
SCP-2476: Oh no, no, no. I mean it more like how they kind of…Agh! This is complicated… Like how the funny stuff isn't really meant to do much in this case, other than be a way to convey something bigger, but ends up being the thing you remember most about it. Yeah I think that's it.
Dr. Belle: How is it that you know about gamers against weed? When we asked about your earliest memories, you said you'd woken up in ██████.
SCP-2476: I remember some things from what I guess you'd call 'before'. They're not really clear memories, more like information I woke up with. I think whatever process they used to make me involved making me partly, then editing aspects of me while I was partly conscious. To see how I behaved. The information I know is from what they mentioned when they were making me, kind of like how when you're a baby you take in things you hear people say.
Dr. Belle: Well thank you, You've managed to give us a lot of helpful information.
SCP-2476: Hehe, you saying you didn't expect it?
Dr. Belle: Ok, you need to settle down.
Document 2476-8745
The following document was found on SCP-2476's person when recovered. It is reproduced below in its entirety.
Holy Heck! You've just found yourself your very own Mr. Spanish Inquisition by Gamers Against Weed! I didn't expect this. Who is Dr. Wondertainment?
Collect them all and become Mr. Gamer!
01. Mr. Literal Serial Killer
02. Mr. Normie
03. Mr. Bernie Sanders
04. Mr. Get Anything For Free In Any Shop
20. Mr. Sex Number
21. Mr. Heavenly Virtues
22. Mr. Deadly Sins
23. Mr. Original Character
24. Mr. D.A.R.E.
25. Mr. Gentrification
26. Mr. Mad About Video Games
27. Mr. Meme
28. Mr. Ominous (discontinued)
29. Mr. Destiny
30. Mr. Spanish Inquisition ✔
31. Ms. Zapatista
32. Mr. Hax
33. Mr. Just Has The Tattoo
34. Mr. Top Text and Mr. Bottom Text
35. Mr. Finale