SCP-2291 by The SCP Foundation Lyrics
Item #: SCP-2291
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-2291 is stored in Anomalous Item Locker ECD-2291 in Site 19. As direct physical contact with SCP-2291 is prohibited, only D-Class personnel are authorized to move the item. Research involving SCP-2291 is prohibited without the express permission of Dr. Mbeke or Site-19’s senior administrative staff. Individuals that touch SCP-2291 directly are to be designated SCP-2291-A, administered a Class B amnestic, and placed into confinement for 3 months or until cleared by a supermajority of Site-19's psychiatric panel. Individuals that still show symptoms after this period are to be terminated.
Description: SCP-2291 is a corrugated cardboard box with a edge length of 15cm. The word “FUN” is printed in large, black capital letters on each side. There are no gaps or joints on SCP-2291's surface, suggesting that it was formed whole rather than being folded from a flat sheet. D-Class personnel report a rattling noise issuing from SCP-2291 when moved, suggesting that it contains one or more smaller objects. All attempts to access SCP-2291's interior via destructive means have failed, as have imaging studies intended to probe the interior. Level-3 personnel and above may request Test Logs 2291 -1 though -4 for more details.
SCP-2291 was recovered from the offices of █████████ Corporate Solutions in ███████, Ohio. Foundation assets were alerted after the entire staff of █████████ Corporate Solutions was reported missing within a period of 2 days. Mobile Task Force Rho-9 ("The Dundies") was assigned to investigate, and recovered SCP-2291 along with 18 instances of SCP-2291-A, identified as the former employees of █████████ Corporate Solutions. These individuals were found at their workstations, suffering from sleep deprivation and mild dehydration.
Direct physical contact with SCP-2291 is to be considered a Delta-class cognitohazard. Those who do so are to be designated SCP-2291-A and experience the following symptoms:
All communication by SCP-2291-A instances is altered. SCP-2291-A instances involuntarily replace some adjectives, especially those involving emotion, with the word “fun”.
SCP-2291-A instances smile constantly, even while sleeping.
SCP-2291 significantly alters how SCP-2291-A instances express and experience emotion. Immediately after initial exposure, subjects report increased feelings of happiness and significantly reduced resistance to authority. As the time of exposure to SCP-2291 increases, however, symptoms change; subjects repeatedly exposed to SCP-2291 for a period greater than 2 weeks become reliant on SCP-2291's effects to experience pleasure. When isolated from SCP-2291, these subjects temporarily lose their ability to normally process endorphins. In addition to a suppressed ability to experience pleasure, these individuals experience symptoms analogous to extreme doses of Naloxone in opiate abusers; restlessness, sweating, and headache are common.
When isolated from SCP-2291, SCP-2291-A instances typically recover within 3 months. Recovery is negatively correlated with exposure time; the less time a subject spends near SCP-2291, the greater their chance of recovery.
Interview Log 2291-17-3: The first 18 known SCP-2291-A subjects were the employees of █████████ Corporate Solutions, all of whom were detained during the recovery of SCP-2291. The following interview has been deemed notable due to its content.
- Interview Log 2291-17-3
Interviewed: SCP-2291-17
Interviewer: Junior Researcher Evans
Foreword: SCP-2291-17 was interviewed 2 weeks after containment. SCP-2291-17, formerly known as Ahmed █████, was an accountant at █████████ Corporate Solutions.
Evans: Hello, Mr. █████. I'd like ask you a few questions about SCP-2291.
SCP-2291-17: What?
Evans: The object in this picture.
Evans hands SCP-2291-17 a photo of SCP-2291
SCP-2291-17: That? ████████1 brought that in during our holiday party a month ago. Everyone had been kinda fun after the layoffs last quarter, and she said it was a gift to cheer us all up.
Evans: Who is ████████?
SCP-2291-17: She's the head of HR. No one really knew her well, she was just… fun, you know? Her whole department just weirded all of us out.
Evans: How have you been feeling since ████████ brought in SCP-2291?
SCP-2291-17: My face has been feeling kinda fun lately. Other than that, I just can't stop working. I used to want to go home and see my family, but fun box made me realize something important. I love my job. My job is my life. Why would I go home when I feel so empty there? My job is fun.
SCP-2291-17 is silent for 12 seconds
SCP-2291-17: Can I borrow your pen?
Evans: No.
Closing Statement: SCP-2291-17 ceased exhibiting anomalous traits 28 days after the interview. He was administered a Class-B amnestic and released, and his SCP designation was removed.
Interview Log D-14783-7:
- Interview Log D-14783-7
Interviewed: D-14783
Interviewer: Dr. Mbeke
Foreword: D-14683, a former paralegal, was chosen for testing with SCP-2291. To test the long-term effects of SCP-2291 on subjects similar to the employees of █████████ Corporate Solutions. D-14683 was asked to complete a small amount of legal paperwork after each hour of exposure. The following interview was performed 3 months into SCP-2291 exposure.
Dr. Mbeke: Hello, D-14783. How are you today?
D-14783's tone suggests unhappiness. He remains smiling.
D-14783: Fun.
Dr. Mbeke: What do you mean by that? You sound sad.
D-14783: I don't have enough to do. I have to keep working. Can you guys give me more to do?
Dr. Mbeke: I'll see what we can find for you. Tell me, why do you feel like you need to work so much?
D-14783: I have to be fun. When I'm not writing, when I'm not getting things done, I just get this sense of emptyness. Don't get me wrong, whenever I'm near that little box thing, I feel great. But even then, I feel almost guilty about not working. When I'm not around it, the feeling just gets worse. The only way I can feel like myself is to work.
Closing Statement: D-14783 did not show any progress in recovering from the effects of SCP-2291. He reported consistent worsening of psychological symptoms as time of exposure increased. He found dead in his cell 4 months and 12 days after the above interview. Cause of death was ruled to be blood loss resulting from suicide, as D-14783 had repeatedly carved the word "fun" into his chest and left forearm with a screw taken from his cot. Due to this incident, further long-term studies with SCP-2291 are prohibited.
Document 2291-A: The following is a transcript of Video 2291-A, recovered from a camcorder found in the offices of █████████ Corporate Solutions.
- Document 2291-A
00:00:00 - Video begins. Appears to document an office holiday party; employees of █████████ Corporate Solutions are gathered in a conference room eating cake.
00:03:54 - Ahmed █████, in conversation with another employee near the camera, is noted to say "Screw this job, I'm out. I'm putting in my two weeks tomorrow."
00:07:31 - An unknown female wearing a suit, designated SCP-2291-B, enters the frame. SCP-2291-B's face is obscured by electronic distortion. She is holding SCP-2291.
00:07:34 - SCP-2291-B places SCP-2291 in the center of the conference table and takes a seat facing the camera. All employees in the room cease talking and stare at SCP-2291.
00:09:39 - After remaining silent and motionless for 2 minutes, 2 seconds, all █████████ Corporate Solutions employees excluding SCP-2291-B lay a finger on SCP-2291.
00:13:04 - All subjects excluding SCP-2291-B silently leave the conference room and return to their desks. SCP-2291-B remains seated in front of the camera.
01:35:00 - Video ends. No conversation is heard from the employees of █████████ Corporate Solutions, nor does SCP-2291-B move after 00:07:34.
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-2291 is stored in Anomalous Item Locker ECD-2291 in Site 19. As direct physical contact with SCP-2291 is prohibited, only D-Class personnel are authorized to move the item. Research involving SCP-2291 is prohibited without the express permission of Dr. Mbeke or Site-19’s senior administrative staff. Individuals that touch SCP-2291 directly are to be designated SCP-2291-A, administered a Class B amnestic, and placed into confinement for 3 months or until cleared by a supermajority of Site-19's psychiatric panel. Individuals that still show symptoms after this period are to be terminated.
Description: SCP-2291 is a corrugated cardboard box with a edge length of 15cm. The word “FUN” is printed in large, black capital letters on each side. There are no gaps or joints on SCP-2291's surface, suggesting that it was formed whole rather than being folded from a flat sheet. D-Class personnel report a rattling noise issuing from SCP-2291 when moved, suggesting that it contains one or more smaller objects. All attempts to access SCP-2291's interior via destructive means have failed, as have imaging studies intended to probe the interior. Level-3 personnel and above may request Test Logs 2291 -1 though -4 for more details.
SCP-2291 was recovered from the offices of █████████ Corporate Solutions in ███████, Ohio. Foundation assets were alerted after the entire staff of █████████ Corporate Solutions was reported missing within a period of 2 days. Mobile Task Force Rho-9 ("The Dundies") was assigned to investigate, and recovered SCP-2291 along with 18 instances of SCP-2291-A, identified as the former employees of █████████ Corporate Solutions. These individuals were found at their workstations, suffering from sleep deprivation and mild dehydration.
Direct physical contact with SCP-2291 is to be considered a Delta-class cognitohazard. Those who do so are to be designated SCP-2291-A and experience the following symptoms:
All communication by SCP-2291-A instances is altered. SCP-2291-A instances involuntarily replace some adjectives, especially those involving emotion, with the word “fun”.
SCP-2291-A instances smile constantly, even while sleeping.
SCP-2291 significantly alters how SCP-2291-A instances express and experience emotion. Immediately after initial exposure, subjects report increased feelings of happiness and significantly reduced resistance to authority. As the time of exposure to SCP-2291 increases, however, symptoms change; subjects repeatedly exposed to SCP-2291 for a period greater than 2 weeks become reliant on SCP-2291's effects to experience pleasure. When isolated from SCP-2291, these subjects temporarily lose their ability to normally process endorphins. In addition to a suppressed ability to experience pleasure, these individuals experience symptoms analogous to extreme doses of Naloxone in opiate abusers; restlessness, sweating, and headache are common.
When isolated from SCP-2291, SCP-2291-A instances typically recover within 3 months. Recovery is negatively correlated with exposure time; the less time a subject spends near SCP-2291, the greater their chance of recovery.
Interview Log 2291-17-3: The first 18 known SCP-2291-A subjects were the employees of █████████ Corporate Solutions, all of whom were detained during the recovery of SCP-2291. The following interview has been deemed notable due to its content.
- Interview Log 2291-17-3
Interviewed: SCP-2291-17
Interviewer: Junior Researcher Evans
Foreword: SCP-2291-17 was interviewed 2 weeks after containment. SCP-2291-17, formerly known as Ahmed █████, was an accountant at █████████ Corporate Solutions.
Evans: Hello, Mr. █████. I'd like ask you a few questions about SCP-2291.
SCP-2291-17: What?
Evans: The object in this picture.
Evans hands SCP-2291-17 a photo of SCP-2291
SCP-2291-17: That? ████████1 brought that in during our holiday party a month ago. Everyone had been kinda fun after the layoffs last quarter, and she said it was a gift to cheer us all up.
Evans: Who is ████████?
SCP-2291-17: She's the head of HR. No one really knew her well, she was just… fun, you know? Her whole department just weirded all of us out.
Evans: How have you been feeling since ████████ brought in SCP-2291?
SCP-2291-17: My face has been feeling kinda fun lately. Other than that, I just can't stop working. I used to want to go home and see my family, but fun box made me realize something important. I love my job. My job is my life. Why would I go home when I feel so empty there? My job is fun.
SCP-2291-17 is silent for 12 seconds
SCP-2291-17: Can I borrow your pen?
Evans: No.
Closing Statement: SCP-2291-17 ceased exhibiting anomalous traits 28 days after the interview. He was administered a Class-B amnestic and released, and his SCP designation was removed.
Interview Log D-14783-7:
- Interview Log D-14783-7
Interviewed: D-14783
Interviewer: Dr. Mbeke
Foreword: D-14683, a former paralegal, was chosen for testing with SCP-2291. To test the long-term effects of SCP-2291 on subjects similar to the employees of █████████ Corporate Solutions. D-14683 was asked to complete a small amount of legal paperwork after each hour of exposure. The following interview was performed 3 months into SCP-2291 exposure.
Dr. Mbeke: Hello, D-14783. How are you today?
D-14783's tone suggests unhappiness. He remains smiling.
D-14783: Fun.
Dr. Mbeke: What do you mean by that? You sound sad.
D-14783: I don't have enough to do. I have to keep working. Can you guys give me more to do?
Dr. Mbeke: I'll see what we can find for you. Tell me, why do you feel like you need to work so much?
D-14783: I have to be fun. When I'm not writing, when I'm not getting things done, I just get this sense of emptyness. Don't get me wrong, whenever I'm near that little box thing, I feel great. But even then, I feel almost guilty about not working. When I'm not around it, the feeling just gets worse. The only way I can feel like myself is to work.
Closing Statement: D-14783 did not show any progress in recovering from the effects of SCP-2291. He reported consistent worsening of psychological symptoms as time of exposure increased. He found dead in his cell 4 months and 12 days after the above interview. Cause of death was ruled to be blood loss resulting from suicide, as D-14783 had repeatedly carved the word "fun" into his chest and left forearm with a screw taken from his cot. Due to this incident, further long-term studies with SCP-2291 are prohibited.
Document 2291-A: The following is a transcript of Video 2291-A, recovered from a camcorder found in the offices of █████████ Corporate Solutions.
- Document 2291-A
00:00:00 - Video begins. Appears to document an office holiday party; employees of █████████ Corporate Solutions are gathered in a conference room eating cake.
00:03:54 - Ahmed █████, in conversation with another employee near the camera, is noted to say "Screw this job, I'm out. I'm putting in my two weeks tomorrow."
00:07:31 - An unknown female wearing a suit, designated SCP-2291-B, enters the frame. SCP-2291-B's face is obscured by electronic distortion. She is holding SCP-2291.
00:07:34 - SCP-2291-B places SCP-2291 in the center of the conference table and takes a seat facing the camera. All employees in the room cease talking and stare at SCP-2291.
00:09:39 - After remaining silent and motionless for 2 minutes, 2 seconds, all █████████ Corporate Solutions employees excluding SCP-2291-B lay a finger on SCP-2291.
00:13:04 - All subjects excluding SCP-2291-B silently leave the conference room and return to their desks. SCP-2291-B remains seated in front of the camera.
01:35:00 - Video ends. No conversation is heard from the employees of █████████ Corporate Solutions, nor does SCP-2291-B move after 00:07:34.