SCP-1247 by The SCP Foundation Lyrics
Item #: SCP-1247
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: In the event of a containment breach, SCP-1247 is to be treated as a physically normal, untrained human hostile. Personnel are warned that SCP-1247 is psychologically unstable and cannot distinguish between organisms. Use of lethal force to detain SCP-1247 is not authorised.
SCP-1247 is to be contained in a standard humanoid containment cell. Standard humanoid SCP containment procedures apply. The cell must be proofed against penetration by vermin and insects.
No personnel may make physical contact with SCP-1247 unless they fit the following physical specifications:
Anatomically male
Height within 5 cm of 176 cm
Weight within 10 kg of 74 kg
Anatomically standard number and positioning of limbs, digits, and appendages (ears, nose, etc.)
Full specifications must be verified before physical contact with SCP-1247 can be authorised. Specifications may be waived during relevant testing.
SCP-1247 is currently undergoing a process of psychological rehabilitation. To assist in this process, all personnel entering its quarters must wear face-obscuring masks, and must not wear any clothing items or accessories made of or incorporating leather.
SCP-1247 is required to attend bi-weekly therapy sessions with Dr. Zhang from 3:00 pm on Tuesdays and Fridays. Session length should not exceed one hour, but reasonable exceptions may be made at the discretion of Dr. Zhang. Dr. Zhang is required to wear a mask, and must maintain a distance of one meter from SCP-1247 for the duration of all sessions. Dr. Zhang has emphasized that the comfort and safety of SCP-1247 is paramount. An armed security agent must be present in the room for the duration of all sessions.
To ensure psychological stability of SCP-1247, meals provided must not contain meat.
SCP-1247 has requested that no mirrors be brought into its cell.
Description: SCP-1247 is a 37-year-old human male, formerly ███ ███████ of █████ ███, ██, United States of America. SCP-1247 is biologically normal on almost all accounts. However, testing has revealed some atypical brain activity. Significantly, radiology has revealed the absence of substantial areas of the cerebrum, which appear to have been displaced by the presence of foreign biological matter from an unidentified living organism. This organism has been tentatively classified as a variety of fungus and bears superficial resemblance to mushrooms of the genus Morchella, but has yet to be conclusively matched to any recognised terrestrial species. There are currently no plans to remove this organism from SCP-1247.
SCP-1247 exhibits three anomalous effects.
The primary anomalous effect exhibited by SCP-1247 is psychological, and is observable only to SCP-1247 itself. When SCP-1247 is able to observe a live animal, dead animal, or part of an animal, it perceives that animal as American film and television actor Shia LaBeouf. This perceptual effect extends to all of SCP-1247's senses. Regardless of the actual size or shape of the animal, SCP-1247 perceives a life-sized instance of Shia LaBeouf.
Testing has determined that the body position and movements of Shia LaBeouf instances mirror the actual position and movements of the animal as closely as possible without requiring a restructuring of Shia LaBeouf's actual anatomy. For example, an ant perceived by SCP-1247 would take the apparent form of Shia LaBeouf scuttling in an ant-like way, but would be limited in its accuracy by Shia LaBeouf's lack of a thorax, third pair of legs, and other anatomical features possessed by a true ant. Despite this imperfect mimicry, SCP-1247 claims that Shia LaBeouf instances can perform the same physical feats as the animals they replace, even when this would be physically impossible for the actual Shia LaBeouf. For example, a horse perceived by SCP-1247 took the apparent form of Shia LaBeouf galloping on all fours at the speed of the actual horse, while a bird perceived by SCP-1247 took the apparent form of Shia LaBeouf flying through the air by flapping his arms.
If SCP-1247 observes an animal that would typically lack the anatomical features of Shia LaBeouf, it perceives a normal Shia LaBeouf instance regardless. For example, a worm perceived by SCP-1247 took the apparent form of Shia LaBeouf lying on the ground with his arms and legs present, but seemingly paralysed. Similarly, if SCP-1247 observes a live or dead animal that is missing an anatomical feature, or observes part of an animal, it perceives a full, anatomically complete Shia LaBeouf instance. For example, a cooked chicken wing perceived by SCP-1247 took the apparent form of Shia LaBeouf, with one arm bent into a shape approximating that of the cooked chicken wing. The instance of Shia LaBeouf perceived by SCP-1247 in this test was dead, like the chicken wing, but was whole and uncooked.
Testing has determined that instances of Shia LaBeouf perceived by SCP-1247 reliably match the current physical condition and appearance of the actual Shia LaBeouf. However, when SCP-1247 views parts of animals, or dead animals, the perceived instances lack the presence of life, despite the continued life of the actual Shia LaBeouf.
The secondary anomalous effect exhibited by SCP-1247 is physical, and may be observed by others. When SCP-1247 interacts physically with a live animal, dead animal, or part of an animal, it interacts with that animal as if it were Shia LaBeouf. This anomalous effect impacts on size, weight, and anatomy of the animal as it is interacted with by SCP-1247. For example, in one test SCP-1247 was asked to drag a Shia LaBeouf instance by its arm. Unbeknownst to SCP-1247, the Shia LaBeouf instance was actually a worm. Although the worm possessed no arms, SCP-1247 was seemingly able to grab hold of an invisible arm, and accomplished the task with some difficulty. The test was repeated, with the worm test subject replaced first by a human, then a cow, and then a chicken fillet. All tests had the same result. SCP-1247 reported that the weight of all four test subjects was identical. Weighing later showed that this was not the case; all four test subjects had weight appropriate to their true forms, even whilst held by SCP-1247. In a later test, SCP-1247 was asked to sever an arm from an instance of Shia LaBeouf. This Shia LaBeouf instance was also a worm, and had no arm or arm equivalent. Regardless, SCP-1247 reported the successfully severing of an arm. SCP-1247 was asked to describe the perceived arm, but reported neither arm nor one-armed Shia LaBeouf, but rather two whole, dead Shia LaBeoufs, one of which then disappeared.
The exception to both of these anomalous effects involves a live animal, dead animal, or part of an animal that is located inside of SCP-1247. When this occurs, the animal is perceived as it would be by a normal human, and physically interacted with as such.
Neither SCP-1247's primary nor secondary anomalous effects extend to photographs, recordings, live video, or other non-physical, non-biological forms or depictions of animals. However, SCP-1247's primary anomalous effect does extend to any animals observed in a reflection or through a lens. Neither SCP-1247's primary nor secondary effects extend to animal byproducts, or to organisms that are not part of the kingdom Animalia. SCP-1247's anomalous effects have not yet been tested on a cellular level.
The tertiary effect exhibited by SCP-1247 is psychological, and is observable only to SCP-1247 itself. SCP-1247 is incapable of viewing specimens of any species of morel mushroom, genus Morchella. This effect extends to live, partial, and dead specimens of morel mushroom, as well as all non-physical, non-biological representations of morel mushroom where it can be reasonably identified as such. This effect does not extend to textual descriptions of morel mushrooms. This effect does not extend to any of SCP-1247's other senses. There is no corresponding physical effect.
Note: For a more in-depth study of SCP-1247's three anomalous effects, personnel may refer to Experiment Log SCP-1247.
The manner in which SCP-1247 is able to exhibit these anomalous effects is unknown. According to SCP-1247, none of these effects were manifest before the year 20██. In April of that year, SCP-1247 purchased and viewed a video tape recording of the film 'Holes', starring Shia LaBeouf. Approximately 30 minutes into viewing the movie, SCP-1247 was struck by a violent pain in the front of his head, and blacked out for a period of time it estimates to be less than ten seconds. Upon awakening, SCP-1247 resumed watching the film, and then went to sleep. At this stage, no anomalous effects had been observed. The next day, SCP-1247 exited its home and observed what it perceived to be Shia LaBeouf, naked and digging through its garbage. Based on its reported behaviour, researchers have determined that the supposed Shia LaBeouf was most likely a raccoon. This incident marks the first exhibition of SCP-1247's primary anomalous effect.
Following this incident, SCP-1247 alerted police to what it believed to be the actual Shia LaBeouf behaving under the influence of narcotics. SCP-1247 then took shelter within its home. When the police arrived, SCP-1247 exited the house, only to discover that both of the officers present were Shia LaBeouf. SCP-1247's recount of the following events is confused due to the trauma endured by SCP-1247, and SCP-1247's obvious perceptual disability. Researchers have determined that the most likely sequence of events is that SCP-1247 fled the officers, encountered a flock of pigeons on the way to its car, and attempted to drive away. The presence of an insect (believed to be a blowfly) in SCP-1247's vehicle led to a panic attack and subsequent crash. SCP-1247 attempted to physically assault the blowfly. This incident marks the first exhibition of SCP-1247's secondary anomalous effect.
Following the altercation, SCP-1247 fled the car, and later the town of █████ ███ itself. SCP-1247 took up residence in an abandoned cabin in the forest north of █████ ███. At this stage, SCP-1247 believed that the instances of Shia LaBeouf were some sort of demonic beings. SCP-1247 remained in the cabin for █ years, subsisting from water gathered through a rainwater tank, and by eating grasses, berries, occasional scavenged food, and the flesh of Shia LaBeouf instances it hunted in the forest. Attempts by SCP-1247 to cut, cook, or otherwise prepare its meat resulted in the same perceived outcome: whole, uncooked instances of Shia LaBeouf. For this reason, SCP-1247 took to biting chunks out of the Shia LaBeouf instances. The true nature of SCP-1247's meals was revealed to it only once the bite had been taken. It is believed that this uncertainty, combined with the psychological trauma of having to frequently devour what appeared to be human bodies (as well as the constant trauma of being surrounded by supposedly-demonic Shia LaBeoufs), led to an eventual psychological breakdown.
SCP-1247 was recovered from its cabin outside of █████ ███ following a police investigation of a recent homicide and cannibalism case, thought to be related to the spate of animal slayings and mutilations around the area. After being taken into police custody, SCP-1247 attempted to explain its primary anomalous effect. Although police dismissed this effect as simple hallucination, it caught the attention of embedded Foundation personnel. Foundation Agent ███ was dispatched to investigate further, and took SCP-1247 into Foundation custody after witnessing a display of its secondary anomalous effect.
SCP-1247's copy of 'Holes' has been recovered. Testing has determined no anomalous effects. SCP-1247 has expressed disinterest in a second viewing.
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: In the event of a containment breach, SCP-1247 is to be treated as a physically normal, untrained human hostile. Personnel are warned that SCP-1247 is psychologically unstable and cannot distinguish between organisms. Use of lethal force to detain SCP-1247 is not authorised.
SCP-1247 is to be contained in a standard humanoid containment cell. Standard humanoid SCP containment procedures apply. The cell must be proofed against penetration by vermin and insects.
No personnel may make physical contact with SCP-1247 unless they fit the following physical specifications:
Anatomically male
Height within 5 cm of 176 cm
Weight within 10 kg of 74 kg
Anatomically standard number and positioning of limbs, digits, and appendages (ears, nose, etc.)
Full specifications must be verified before physical contact with SCP-1247 can be authorised. Specifications may be waived during relevant testing.
SCP-1247 is currently undergoing a process of psychological rehabilitation. To assist in this process, all personnel entering its quarters must wear face-obscuring masks, and must not wear any clothing items or accessories made of or incorporating leather.
SCP-1247 is required to attend bi-weekly therapy sessions with Dr. Zhang from 3:00 pm on Tuesdays and Fridays. Session length should not exceed one hour, but reasonable exceptions may be made at the discretion of Dr. Zhang. Dr. Zhang is required to wear a mask, and must maintain a distance of one meter from SCP-1247 for the duration of all sessions. Dr. Zhang has emphasized that the comfort and safety of SCP-1247 is paramount. An armed security agent must be present in the room for the duration of all sessions.
To ensure psychological stability of SCP-1247, meals provided must not contain meat.
SCP-1247 has requested that no mirrors be brought into its cell.
Description: SCP-1247 is a 37-year-old human male, formerly ███ ███████ of █████ ███, ██, United States of America. SCP-1247 is biologically normal on almost all accounts. However, testing has revealed some atypical brain activity. Significantly, radiology has revealed the absence of substantial areas of the cerebrum, which appear to have been displaced by the presence of foreign biological matter from an unidentified living organism. This organism has been tentatively classified as a variety of fungus and bears superficial resemblance to mushrooms of the genus Morchella, but has yet to be conclusively matched to any recognised terrestrial species. There are currently no plans to remove this organism from SCP-1247.
SCP-1247 exhibits three anomalous effects.
The primary anomalous effect exhibited by SCP-1247 is psychological, and is observable only to SCP-1247 itself. When SCP-1247 is able to observe a live animal, dead animal, or part of an animal, it perceives that animal as American film and television actor Shia LaBeouf. This perceptual effect extends to all of SCP-1247's senses. Regardless of the actual size or shape of the animal, SCP-1247 perceives a life-sized instance of Shia LaBeouf.
Testing has determined that the body position and movements of Shia LaBeouf instances mirror the actual position and movements of the animal as closely as possible without requiring a restructuring of Shia LaBeouf's actual anatomy. For example, an ant perceived by SCP-1247 would take the apparent form of Shia LaBeouf scuttling in an ant-like way, but would be limited in its accuracy by Shia LaBeouf's lack of a thorax, third pair of legs, and other anatomical features possessed by a true ant. Despite this imperfect mimicry, SCP-1247 claims that Shia LaBeouf instances can perform the same physical feats as the animals they replace, even when this would be physically impossible for the actual Shia LaBeouf. For example, a horse perceived by SCP-1247 took the apparent form of Shia LaBeouf galloping on all fours at the speed of the actual horse, while a bird perceived by SCP-1247 took the apparent form of Shia LaBeouf flying through the air by flapping his arms.
If SCP-1247 observes an animal that would typically lack the anatomical features of Shia LaBeouf, it perceives a normal Shia LaBeouf instance regardless. For example, a worm perceived by SCP-1247 took the apparent form of Shia LaBeouf lying on the ground with his arms and legs present, but seemingly paralysed. Similarly, if SCP-1247 observes a live or dead animal that is missing an anatomical feature, or observes part of an animal, it perceives a full, anatomically complete Shia LaBeouf instance. For example, a cooked chicken wing perceived by SCP-1247 took the apparent form of Shia LaBeouf, with one arm bent into a shape approximating that of the cooked chicken wing. The instance of Shia LaBeouf perceived by SCP-1247 in this test was dead, like the chicken wing, but was whole and uncooked.
Testing has determined that instances of Shia LaBeouf perceived by SCP-1247 reliably match the current physical condition and appearance of the actual Shia LaBeouf. However, when SCP-1247 views parts of animals, or dead animals, the perceived instances lack the presence of life, despite the continued life of the actual Shia LaBeouf.
The secondary anomalous effect exhibited by SCP-1247 is physical, and may be observed by others. When SCP-1247 interacts physically with a live animal, dead animal, or part of an animal, it interacts with that animal as if it were Shia LaBeouf. This anomalous effect impacts on size, weight, and anatomy of the animal as it is interacted with by SCP-1247. For example, in one test SCP-1247 was asked to drag a Shia LaBeouf instance by its arm. Unbeknownst to SCP-1247, the Shia LaBeouf instance was actually a worm. Although the worm possessed no arms, SCP-1247 was seemingly able to grab hold of an invisible arm, and accomplished the task with some difficulty. The test was repeated, with the worm test subject replaced first by a human, then a cow, and then a chicken fillet. All tests had the same result. SCP-1247 reported that the weight of all four test subjects was identical. Weighing later showed that this was not the case; all four test subjects had weight appropriate to their true forms, even whilst held by SCP-1247. In a later test, SCP-1247 was asked to sever an arm from an instance of Shia LaBeouf. This Shia LaBeouf instance was also a worm, and had no arm or arm equivalent. Regardless, SCP-1247 reported the successfully severing of an arm. SCP-1247 was asked to describe the perceived arm, but reported neither arm nor one-armed Shia LaBeouf, but rather two whole, dead Shia LaBeoufs, one of which then disappeared.
The exception to both of these anomalous effects involves a live animal, dead animal, or part of an animal that is located inside of SCP-1247. When this occurs, the animal is perceived as it would be by a normal human, and physically interacted with as such.
Neither SCP-1247's primary nor secondary anomalous effects extend to photographs, recordings, live video, or other non-physical, non-biological forms or depictions of animals. However, SCP-1247's primary anomalous effect does extend to any animals observed in a reflection or through a lens. Neither SCP-1247's primary nor secondary effects extend to animal byproducts, or to organisms that are not part of the kingdom Animalia. SCP-1247's anomalous effects have not yet been tested on a cellular level.
The tertiary effect exhibited by SCP-1247 is psychological, and is observable only to SCP-1247 itself. SCP-1247 is incapable of viewing specimens of any species of morel mushroom, genus Morchella. This effect extends to live, partial, and dead specimens of morel mushroom, as well as all non-physical, non-biological representations of morel mushroom where it can be reasonably identified as such. This effect does not extend to textual descriptions of morel mushrooms. This effect does not extend to any of SCP-1247's other senses. There is no corresponding physical effect.
Note: For a more in-depth study of SCP-1247's three anomalous effects, personnel may refer to Experiment Log SCP-1247.
The manner in which SCP-1247 is able to exhibit these anomalous effects is unknown. According to SCP-1247, none of these effects were manifest before the year 20██. In April of that year, SCP-1247 purchased and viewed a video tape recording of the film 'Holes', starring Shia LaBeouf. Approximately 30 minutes into viewing the movie, SCP-1247 was struck by a violent pain in the front of his head, and blacked out for a period of time it estimates to be less than ten seconds. Upon awakening, SCP-1247 resumed watching the film, and then went to sleep. At this stage, no anomalous effects had been observed. The next day, SCP-1247 exited its home and observed what it perceived to be Shia LaBeouf, naked and digging through its garbage. Based on its reported behaviour, researchers have determined that the supposed Shia LaBeouf was most likely a raccoon. This incident marks the first exhibition of SCP-1247's primary anomalous effect.
Following this incident, SCP-1247 alerted police to what it believed to be the actual Shia LaBeouf behaving under the influence of narcotics. SCP-1247 then took shelter within its home. When the police arrived, SCP-1247 exited the house, only to discover that both of the officers present were Shia LaBeouf. SCP-1247's recount of the following events is confused due to the trauma endured by SCP-1247, and SCP-1247's obvious perceptual disability. Researchers have determined that the most likely sequence of events is that SCP-1247 fled the officers, encountered a flock of pigeons on the way to its car, and attempted to drive away. The presence of an insect (believed to be a blowfly) in SCP-1247's vehicle led to a panic attack and subsequent crash. SCP-1247 attempted to physically assault the blowfly. This incident marks the first exhibition of SCP-1247's secondary anomalous effect.
Following the altercation, SCP-1247 fled the car, and later the town of █████ ███ itself. SCP-1247 took up residence in an abandoned cabin in the forest north of █████ ███. At this stage, SCP-1247 believed that the instances of Shia LaBeouf were some sort of demonic beings. SCP-1247 remained in the cabin for █ years, subsisting from water gathered through a rainwater tank, and by eating grasses, berries, occasional scavenged food, and the flesh of Shia LaBeouf instances it hunted in the forest. Attempts by SCP-1247 to cut, cook, or otherwise prepare its meat resulted in the same perceived outcome: whole, uncooked instances of Shia LaBeouf. For this reason, SCP-1247 took to biting chunks out of the Shia LaBeouf instances. The true nature of SCP-1247's meals was revealed to it only once the bite had been taken. It is believed that this uncertainty, combined with the psychological trauma of having to frequently devour what appeared to be human bodies (as well as the constant trauma of being surrounded by supposedly-demonic Shia LaBeoufs), led to an eventual psychological breakdown.
SCP-1247 was recovered from its cabin outside of █████ ███ following a police investigation of a recent homicide and cannibalism case, thought to be related to the spate of animal slayings and mutilations around the area. After being taken into police custody, SCP-1247 attempted to explain its primary anomalous effect. Although police dismissed this effect as simple hallucination, it caught the attention of embedded Foundation personnel. Foundation Agent ███ was dispatched to investigate further, and took SCP-1247 into Foundation custody after witnessing a display of its secondary anomalous effect.
SCP-1247's copy of 'Holes' has been recovered. Testing has determined no anomalous effects. SCP-1247 has expressed disinterest in a second viewing.