Carole Wade and Carol Tavris by The Rules of Emotional Regulation Lyrics
The Rules of Emotional RegulationCarole Wade and Carol Tavris
This excerpt is from the author's text, Psychology, Seventh Edition
People learn their culture's rules as easily as they learn its language. Just as they can speak without knowing the rules of grammar, most people express their emotions without being aware of the rules they are following. When they try to communicate across cultures, however, not knowing the other person's cultural rules can lead to problems.Mayor LaGuardiaFiorello LaGuardia, who was mayor of New York from 1933 to 1945, was fluent in three languages: English, Italian, and Yiddish. LaGuardia knew more than the words of those languages, he also knew the hand signals that went along with each one. Researchers who studied films of his speeches could tell which language he was speaking with the sound turned off! They could do so by reading his body language, the nonverbal signals of body movement, posture, gesture, and look that people constantly express. Italians and Jews support their speech with circular movements of their arms and hands, and by measuring the lengths of those movements you can predict whether a speaker is an Italian or a Jew: The larger the movement, the more likely the speaker is Italian.Gestures, Hand Signals, and (mis) UnderstandingsSome signals of body language, like some facial expressions, seem to be spoken universally. Across cultures, people often recognize body movements that reveal pleasure or displeasure, like or dislike, tension or relaxation, high status or low status, grief and anger. When people are depressed, it shows in the way they walk, stand, and hold their heads. However, most aspects of body language are specific to particular spoken languages and cultures, which makes even the simplest hand signal a possible source of misunderstanding and offense. The sign of the University of Texas football team is to extend the index finger and the little finger. Be careful where you make this signal! In Italy and other parts of Europe, this hand signal is a serious insult.Body LanguageWhen people are talking to each other, different body languages will make their conversation feel as if they are not speaking the same language; they may feel as confused and emotionally upset as if they had had a verbal argument. In contrast, when people's hand signals and body language are in synchrony, they will feel greater friendship and emotional harmony. The ability to match body languages is very important to smooth interaction between people. When people feel uncomfortable with someone from another culture, the reason may simply be that their body languages are out of sync.
This excerpt is from the author's text, Psychology, Seventh Edition
People learn their culture's rules as easily as they learn its language. Just as they can speak without knowing the rules of grammar, most people express their emotions without being aware of the rules they are following. When they try to communicate across cultures, however, not knowing the other person's cultural rules can lead to problems.Mayor LaGuardiaFiorello LaGuardia, who was mayor of New York from 1933 to 1945, was fluent in three languages: English, Italian, and Yiddish. LaGuardia knew more than the words of those languages, he also knew the hand signals that went along with each one. Researchers who studied films of his speeches could tell which language he was speaking with the sound turned off! They could do so by reading his body language, the nonverbal signals of body movement, posture, gesture, and look that people constantly express. Italians and Jews support their speech with circular movements of their arms and hands, and by measuring the lengths of those movements you can predict whether a speaker is an Italian or a Jew: The larger the movement, the more likely the speaker is Italian.Gestures, Hand Signals, and (mis) UnderstandingsSome signals of body language, like some facial expressions, seem to be spoken universally. Across cultures, people often recognize body movements that reveal pleasure or displeasure, like or dislike, tension or relaxation, high status or low status, grief and anger. When people are depressed, it shows in the way they walk, stand, and hold their heads. However, most aspects of body language are specific to particular spoken languages and cultures, which makes even the simplest hand signal a possible source of misunderstanding and offense. The sign of the University of Texas football team is to extend the index finger and the little finger. Be careful where you make this signal! In Italy and other parts of Europe, this hand signal is a serious insult.Body LanguageWhen people are talking to each other, different body languages will make their conversation feel as if they are not speaking the same language; they may feel as confused and emotionally upset as if they had had a verbal argument. In contrast, when people's hand signals and body language are in synchrony, they will feel greater friendship and emotional harmony. The ability to match body languages is very important to smooth interaction between people. When people feel uncomfortable with someone from another culture, the reason may simply be that their body languages are out of sync.