The Legend of Gaff Gaffigan by The Rainbow Gang Lyrics
Intro:
Yo this be The Rainbow Gang
Tellin' the story of Gaff Gaffigan
(Yeah, Yeah, Uh)
A:
So Gaff wakes up for a long day of hustling
The first thing he does, eat a blueberry muffin
Brushes his teeth
Lets out a queef
Looks at his vag and says "Damn ain't that neat"
Now he's sitting reading the morning paper
Scratching his nuts with the rusted cheese grader
But don't you fear, he's got balls of steel
Like Steve Irwin who was killed by an eel
"Uhm excuse me, I believe that was a stingray"
"Shut the fuck up bitch"
*Gunshots*
"What about the body?"
"Oh I don't know, I don't know whatever man, we gotta back it up"
"Yeah, gotta back it up to last night"
"Here it goes, here it goes now"
Last night Gaff was raped and sucked off by 3 dudes
When he got out of bed, he was still in the nude
And his nipples was twisted like a Rubix Cube
"Like a Rubix Cube, like a Rubix Cube"
And then he went out and took a giant shit
Reached into the bowl, and grabbed a little bit
Put it into his mouth, and took a bite
And realized hey man this shit tastes "Aight!"
Chorus:
Gaff Gaffigan, he's a righteous man
He is the one with the master plan
He Likes to dance with the frying pans
With Chris Kattan, in Candy land
A:
One can not be born, with 3 dicks
If you want you can take your pick
One's polka dots, one's striped, and one is blue
And all three of 'em would fit nice inside you
When one of the dicks enters the vag
The other's don't fret, in fact their glad
'Cuz one of the urethras is as wide as a dam
In the other cock slides in
"Like strawberry jam"
So Gaff didn't like jam, he liked jelly
I can tell you from experience that his pussy was smelly
Don't believe me? You can ask my friend Telly
He and Gaff used to chill out at the sesame street delhi
Bridge:
Can you tell me how to get there?
Can you tell me how to get there?
Tell me, does it fit there?
Tell me if it fits there
Can you tell me how to get there?
Does the smelly pussy have hair?
Can I use a bottle of Nair?
Last Halloween I was a bear
Chorus:
Gaff Gaffigan, he's a righteous man
He is the one with the master plan
He Likes to dance with the frying pans
With Chris Kattan, in Candy land
A:
Gaff was a guy I used to eat out
And in my mind, there's the motherfucking doubt
That he had a bad case of the gout
Cause his foot would heart whenever we'd go out
Ending Dislodge:
"Yo man, what's up with this guy?"
"Oh my God, oh I think I broke one of my 3 dicks!"
"What the fuck?"
"Kind sirs! You might not know this but I have 3 dicks!"
"Yo!, Song that piss you shit!"
"I don't need to know that man!"
"You piece of shit!"
*Strangles Gaff Gaffigan*
"What's the sucker doin'?"
*Shoots Gaff Gaffigan*
*Gaff Gaffigan screams*
"Take that mother fucker!"
"Oh no son!"
"We just killed motherfucking Gaff Gaffigan
"We killed fucking Gaff Gaffigan
"Fuck!"
"Fuck it, throw him off the bridge"
"RIP my brother"
"Represent one nigga
Kill whitey"
Yo this be The Rainbow Gang
Tellin' the story of Gaff Gaffigan
(Yeah, Yeah, Uh)
A:
So Gaff wakes up for a long day of hustling
The first thing he does, eat a blueberry muffin
Brushes his teeth
Lets out a queef
Looks at his vag and says "Damn ain't that neat"
Now he's sitting reading the morning paper
Scratching his nuts with the rusted cheese grader
But don't you fear, he's got balls of steel
Like Steve Irwin who was killed by an eel
"Uhm excuse me, I believe that was a stingray"
"Shut the fuck up bitch"
*Gunshots*
"What about the body?"
"Oh I don't know, I don't know whatever man, we gotta back it up"
"Yeah, gotta back it up to last night"
"Here it goes, here it goes now"
Last night Gaff was raped and sucked off by 3 dudes
When he got out of bed, he was still in the nude
And his nipples was twisted like a Rubix Cube
"Like a Rubix Cube, like a Rubix Cube"
And then he went out and took a giant shit
Reached into the bowl, and grabbed a little bit
Put it into his mouth, and took a bite
And realized hey man this shit tastes "Aight!"
Chorus:
Gaff Gaffigan, he's a righteous man
He is the one with the master plan
He Likes to dance with the frying pans
With Chris Kattan, in Candy land
A:
One can not be born, with 3 dicks
If you want you can take your pick
One's polka dots, one's striped, and one is blue
And all three of 'em would fit nice inside you
When one of the dicks enters the vag
The other's don't fret, in fact their glad
'Cuz one of the urethras is as wide as a dam
In the other cock slides in
"Like strawberry jam"
So Gaff didn't like jam, he liked jelly
I can tell you from experience that his pussy was smelly
Don't believe me? You can ask my friend Telly
He and Gaff used to chill out at the sesame street delhi
Bridge:
Can you tell me how to get there?
Can you tell me how to get there?
Tell me, does it fit there?
Tell me if it fits there
Can you tell me how to get there?
Does the smelly pussy have hair?
Can I use a bottle of Nair?
Last Halloween I was a bear
Chorus:
Gaff Gaffigan, he's a righteous man
He is the one with the master plan
He Likes to dance with the frying pans
With Chris Kattan, in Candy land
A:
Gaff was a guy I used to eat out
And in my mind, there's the motherfucking doubt
That he had a bad case of the gout
Cause his foot would heart whenever we'd go out
Ending Dislodge:
"Yo man, what's up with this guy?"
"Oh my God, oh I think I broke one of my 3 dicks!"
"What the fuck?"
"Kind sirs! You might not know this but I have 3 dicks!"
"Yo!, Song that piss you shit!"
"I don't need to know that man!"
"You piece of shit!"
*Strangles Gaff Gaffigan*
"What's the sucker doin'?"
*Shoots Gaff Gaffigan*
*Gaff Gaffigan screams*
"Take that mother fucker!"
"Oh no son!"
"We just killed motherfucking Gaff Gaffigan
"We killed fucking Gaff Gaffigan
"Fuck!"
"Fuck it, throw him off the bridge"
"RIP my brother"
"Represent one nigga
Kill whitey"