My Stupid Boyfriend by The Magnetic Fields Lyrics

[Verse 1: Claudia Gonson, Stephin Merritt, Both]
My stupid boyfriend can't find his own house on a map
My stupid girlfriend can make any question a trap
My stupid boyfriend wants mommy to pick up his room
My stupid girlfriend fills each day with impending doom

[Chorus 1]
Oh, if only they'd come to a sudden end
Then you could be my stupid
Boyfriend Girlfriend

[Verse 2]
My stupid girlfriend thinks sex is some kind of sin
My stupid boyfriend drinks only the stinkiest gin
My stupid girlfriend just mumbles in her private code
My stupid boyfriend takes any excuse to explode

[Chorus 2]
Oh, if only they'd follow the overdose trend
Then you could be my stupid
Boyfriend Girlfriend
[Verse 3]
My stupid girlfriend takes hours to make up her mind
My stupid boyfriend is always one sentence behind
My stupid boyfriend loves nobody more than himself
My stupid girlfriend's in love with her pet magic elf

[Chorus 3]
We don't even like them so why pretend
When you could be my stupid
Boyfriend Girlfriend

[Chorus 1]
Oh, if only they'd come to a sudden end
Then you could be my stupid
Boyfriend Girlfriend