A Year And An Ocean by The Khayembii Communique Lyrics

I'm trying too hard to just be me
Forgetting to forget the imagined audience
Who I wish would understand me, yet never know me
Because I can't bear to show what I don't know

This is why I discuss trivialities
This is why I seem so strong
Because my shell won't be cracked
If I make sure you never find out how to

I want to open up
I want to see who I am
I want to see

But it terrifies me to think that maybe
You love me for what I say and not who I am
My politics just aren't me
Just another wall between you and I

The select few who've seen through the facade
I pushed away in horror, afraid of what they knew
I withheld so much about myself to keep a fucked up advantage
And now I see I never had anything to gain
So now there's no more trying to "just be me"
No more hiding behind a language
Just expose myself for what I've been
A fraud, cashing in on rhetoric
That I learned to abuse
What I used to push you away
That I used to win, even though...

Every single time I lost
Every single time