Santa Clause is Cumming to Town by The Bible Boys Lyrics
[Hook: Santa]
Ho ho ho-o, ho ho-o ho ho-o
Ha!
Ho ho ho-o, ho ho-o ho ho-o
Ha!
Ho ho ho-o, ho ho-o ho ho-o
Ha!
Ho ho ho-o, ho ho-o ho ho-o
Ha!
*Ho-Ho-Ho!*
[Verse 1: Captain Zoy]
I don't play fair
Grab a fucker by his beard hair
Red nose for Rudolph, turn that sled into a wheelchair
My north pole, your wife’s holes, your sweatshop, I’ve been there
Just 'cause they tiny don’t mean they don’t get paid fair
Wifey got a dump truck, she built like a Tonka
You built like McDonalds raw-dogged Willy Wonka
Gonna eat the rich, you corporate con
Put the Christ back in Christmas in his shitty little barn
I called AOC, and God damn is she pissed
When she strangles Bezos, you’re next on the list
Remember Santa: when you’re sliding down my chimnеy
Watch out for the guillotine that I'm bringing with me
[Verse 2: Yung Piss]
God won’t forgivе me when I come break your knees
Santa craves sex and violence like a reindeer in heat
Ice in my veins, I’m badder than that fucker Jack Frost
I’m a cold blooded killer, put J-Christ on the cross
*crackhead screams*
Call me Uncle Ted, I’m sending bombs to your house
I’ma fuck Mitch McConnell in Mrs. Clause’s blouse
You’ve been naughty; you half pint fuck, you need some discipline
Make sure to bite the pillow when I stick my candy cane in
You can be my Tiny Tim; I’ll put you in crutches
Head I get is royal; only get it from a duchess
Sacrifice your first-borns; put that blood on the front door
I’ll fuck you in the ass like daddy Scrooge fucks the poor
On Donner, on Blitzen I can cum on command
The elves poppin' pills and lickin’ coke off my hand
All you lil’ snot nosed fucks askin’ for shit on demand
I ain’t Jeff Bezos, your kids are fuckin’ ugly, go die
[Interlude: ValBot]
Ho-ho-ho. No, no, no
Ho-ho-ho. No, no, no
Ho-ho-ho. No, no, no
Ho-ho-ho. No, no, no
Ho-ho-ho. No, no, no
Ho-ho-ho. No, no, no
Ho-ho-ho. No, no, no
Ho-ho-ho. No, no, no
[Verse 3: Bill Goose]
Ya mama whips out her cookie to make Santa cum
I put a batch in the oven, 9 months and it’s done, yeah
Daddy’s black but baby came out whiter than the sun
So now horny little Santa’s got a horny little son, ok
Skip over the Reagan’s house, now those bitches hate me
Every little mama in pajamas gets a baby
Angry husbands bring the heat, but they can’t fuckin’ slay me
Buck shot, 30 ought, shit don’t even phase me
Smokin’ PCP with Rudolph, that dudes fuckin’ crazy
Red nose from all the coke like Wall Street in the 80’s
Hit the floor, do some more, you know what I’m lookin’ for
Some ho-ho-hoes for my candy cane to explore
Dustin’ and kick down the door
Drink a beer and smoke some more
On your baby mama like the ceiling made of mistletoe
My pee-pee like the Grinch's heart, just grow and grow and grow and grow
And grow and grow and grow and grow so suck it from your tippy-toes
[Verse 4: Mooga (violent)]
(Yo Pierre, you wanna come out here?)
*gun chambering - imitated door creaking*
So I pop a couple xannys and I head out in the sleigh (yuh)
Few blocks later, lil’ Timmy gets in the way (oooo)
Was so fucked up, couldn't hold onto the reins
A lil’ child, red Crayola made out of his brains
He must’a been about seven or eight
But I couldn't tell; half of his face was on the pave-ment (ugh)
His mama saw, and she wouldn't take no pay-ment (ugh)
So I pulled out the Glock, said "bitch okay then" (ugh) *gunshots*
You get milk ‘n’ cookies? I get wet nookie (yah!)
When she get pregnant, I play nine months of hooky
Got all these child support payments that I miss
If I don’t wanna see ‘em, they go on the naughty list
I got a fetish for stockings, now fill ‘em up for me (twenty-one!)
If I get a drug test, piss in a cup for me
Pull out and cum on the tailbone (yah!)
Make a bitch violate an order to stay-at-home (oooo)
Superspreadin’ COVID, (yah) comin’ down your chimney (brrrrrt)
Got my boys Rudolph ‘n’ Dasher wit’ me (gang gang)
Gonna leave you with a tune you can hum (yeah)
Then I’ll whip out my cock and I’ll stick it in your bum, yeah
[Verse 5: Hirachi Diamonds]
Merry Christmas bitch, fuck your missus bitch
I be sliding down her chimney blowin’ kisses bitch
She be on my north pole now going south
And I listen to my jingle bells in her mouth
Grabbin’ all that long white hair she got class
And it's gonna be a white Christmas on her ass
Santa better learn your motherfuckin’ lesson
In 9 months gonna find my fucking present
And I know that I been kinda thotty
But you've been worried ‘bout the wrong ‘typa naughty
Fuck you Santa
[Verse 6: Goblin Boy]
You motherfuckers act like it’s another tree to cop
But the suicide rates packing with a little bow on top
Hit the ground real hard, know your spine’s bent to fold
The ones that completed it are getting kinda cold
But this time of year you are never getting hot
She on Santa’s lap, call her Ebenezer Thot
She’s asked for a new look, under knife and in disgrace
But I knew her when she had a cinnamon butter face
Bitches be so jolly but they never give me thanks
So I smack it on the table like a rubber Tom Hanks
Disappointed with your bushels, better know your fucking place
The refund policy better break the gingerbread bank
Pay it forward, make my snowglobes go outta stock
It was a race, end of the rope, back to the basic
Launch myself off a building, call me Saint Nick
Never been jingled jangled
You’ve just been a hole
Look underneath your stocking, you just got left out coal
[Verse 7: Tetsuke]
*riser synth*
*crackhead coughing*
*crackhead screaming*
*vibrato crackhead howling*
(Oh yeah!)
I fuck milfs all night, gilfs if they’re all right
Your mom's gift this year? Was spunk on her chest
Four out of six positives on the STD test
I’m off the xanny and the bottle; delivering a good nut
Yeah, I bang your slut
Only, in the pussy and the butt
(Yeah)
I pop these quaaludes like it’s 1972
I would deliver to your grandma -- but she's a Jew
My bussy is sacred, I’ll pop your balls like crackers
Your mama's milk is snackers
You know I hate the poor
But, I killed Margaret Thatcher
(Yeah)
(Yeeah)
(Yeeeah)
My cum tastes so good it tastes like rapture
My wife wants to leave, but I gotta trap her
Even spoke about this with my local pastor
Looks like I gotta blast her
He said “why didn’t you kill this bih faster?”
I said “I know where you sleep, don’t give me shit
I’ll raw dog your ass with nothing but spit.”
(Yeah)
(bruh)
[Hook: Santa]
Ho ho ho-o, ho ho-o ho ho-o
Ha!
Ho ho ho-o, ho ho-o ho ho-o
Ha!
Ho ho ho-o, ho ho-o ho ho-o
Ha!
Ho ho ho-o, ho ho-o ho ho-o
Ha!
*Ho-Ho-Ho! Merry Christmas!*
Ho ho ho-o, ho ho-o ho ho-o
Ha!
Ho ho ho-o, ho ho-o ho ho-o
Ha!
Ho ho ho-o, ho ho-o ho ho-o
Ha!
Ho ho ho-o, ho ho-o ho ho-o
Ha!
*Ho-Ho-Ho!*
[Verse 1: Captain Zoy]
I don't play fair
Grab a fucker by his beard hair
Red nose for Rudolph, turn that sled into a wheelchair
My north pole, your wife’s holes, your sweatshop, I’ve been there
Just 'cause they tiny don’t mean they don’t get paid fair
Wifey got a dump truck, she built like a Tonka
You built like McDonalds raw-dogged Willy Wonka
Gonna eat the rich, you corporate con
Put the Christ back in Christmas in his shitty little barn
I called AOC, and God damn is she pissed
When she strangles Bezos, you’re next on the list
Remember Santa: when you’re sliding down my chimnеy
Watch out for the guillotine that I'm bringing with me
[Verse 2: Yung Piss]
God won’t forgivе me when I come break your knees
Santa craves sex and violence like a reindeer in heat
Ice in my veins, I’m badder than that fucker Jack Frost
I’m a cold blooded killer, put J-Christ on the cross
*crackhead screams*
Call me Uncle Ted, I’m sending bombs to your house
I’ma fuck Mitch McConnell in Mrs. Clause’s blouse
You’ve been naughty; you half pint fuck, you need some discipline
Make sure to bite the pillow when I stick my candy cane in
You can be my Tiny Tim; I’ll put you in crutches
Head I get is royal; only get it from a duchess
Sacrifice your first-borns; put that blood on the front door
I’ll fuck you in the ass like daddy Scrooge fucks the poor
On Donner, on Blitzen I can cum on command
The elves poppin' pills and lickin’ coke off my hand
All you lil’ snot nosed fucks askin’ for shit on demand
I ain’t Jeff Bezos, your kids are fuckin’ ugly, go die
[Interlude: ValBot]
Ho-ho-ho. No, no, no
Ho-ho-ho. No, no, no
Ho-ho-ho. No, no, no
Ho-ho-ho. No, no, no
Ho-ho-ho. No, no, no
Ho-ho-ho. No, no, no
Ho-ho-ho. No, no, no
Ho-ho-ho. No, no, no
[Verse 3: Bill Goose]
Ya mama whips out her cookie to make Santa cum
I put a batch in the oven, 9 months and it’s done, yeah
Daddy’s black but baby came out whiter than the sun
So now horny little Santa’s got a horny little son, ok
Skip over the Reagan’s house, now those bitches hate me
Every little mama in pajamas gets a baby
Angry husbands bring the heat, but they can’t fuckin’ slay me
Buck shot, 30 ought, shit don’t even phase me
Smokin’ PCP with Rudolph, that dudes fuckin’ crazy
Red nose from all the coke like Wall Street in the 80’s
Hit the floor, do some more, you know what I’m lookin’ for
Some ho-ho-hoes for my candy cane to explore
Dustin’ and kick down the door
Drink a beer and smoke some more
On your baby mama like the ceiling made of mistletoe
My pee-pee like the Grinch's heart, just grow and grow and grow and grow
And grow and grow and grow and grow so suck it from your tippy-toes
[Verse 4: Mooga (violent)]
(Yo Pierre, you wanna come out here?)
*gun chambering - imitated door creaking*
So I pop a couple xannys and I head out in the sleigh (yuh)
Few blocks later, lil’ Timmy gets in the way (oooo)
Was so fucked up, couldn't hold onto the reins
A lil’ child, red Crayola made out of his brains
He must’a been about seven or eight
But I couldn't tell; half of his face was on the pave-ment (ugh)
His mama saw, and she wouldn't take no pay-ment (ugh)
So I pulled out the Glock, said "bitch okay then" (ugh) *gunshots*
You get milk ‘n’ cookies? I get wet nookie (yah!)
When she get pregnant, I play nine months of hooky
Got all these child support payments that I miss
If I don’t wanna see ‘em, they go on the naughty list
I got a fetish for stockings, now fill ‘em up for me (twenty-one!)
If I get a drug test, piss in a cup for me
Pull out and cum on the tailbone (yah!)
Make a bitch violate an order to stay-at-home (oooo)
Superspreadin’ COVID, (yah) comin’ down your chimney (brrrrrt)
Got my boys Rudolph ‘n’ Dasher wit’ me (gang gang)
Gonna leave you with a tune you can hum (yeah)
Then I’ll whip out my cock and I’ll stick it in your bum, yeah
[Verse 5: Hirachi Diamonds]
Merry Christmas bitch, fuck your missus bitch
I be sliding down her chimney blowin’ kisses bitch
She be on my north pole now going south
And I listen to my jingle bells in her mouth
Grabbin’ all that long white hair she got class
And it's gonna be a white Christmas on her ass
Santa better learn your motherfuckin’ lesson
In 9 months gonna find my fucking present
And I know that I been kinda thotty
But you've been worried ‘bout the wrong ‘typa naughty
Fuck you Santa
[Verse 6: Goblin Boy]
You motherfuckers act like it’s another tree to cop
But the suicide rates packing with a little bow on top
Hit the ground real hard, know your spine’s bent to fold
The ones that completed it are getting kinda cold
But this time of year you are never getting hot
She on Santa’s lap, call her Ebenezer Thot
She’s asked for a new look, under knife and in disgrace
But I knew her when she had a cinnamon butter face
Bitches be so jolly but they never give me thanks
So I smack it on the table like a rubber Tom Hanks
Disappointed with your bushels, better know your fucking place
The refund policy better break the gingerbread bank
Pay it forward, make my snowglobes go outta stock
It was a race, end of the rope, back to the basic
Launch myself off a building, call me Saint Nick
Never been jingled jangled
You’ve just been a hole
Look underneath your stocking, you just got left out coal
[Verse 7: Tetsuke]
*riser synth*
*crackhead coughing*
*crackhead screaming*
*vibrato crackhead howling*
(Oh yeah!)
I fuck milfs all night, gilfs if they’re all right
Your mom's gift this year? Was spunk on her chest
Four out of six positives on the STD test
I’m off the xanny and the bottle; delivering a good nut
Yeah, I bang your slut
Only, in the pussy and the butt
(Yeah)
I pop these quaaludes like it’s 1972
I would deliver to your grandma -- but she's a Jew
My bussy is sacred, I’ll pop your balls like crackers
Your mama's milk is snackers
You know I hate the poor
But, I killed Margaret Thatcher
(Yeah)
(Yeeah)
(Yeeeah)
My cum tastes so good it tastes like rapture
My wife wants to leave, but I gotta trap her
Even spoke about this with my local pastor
Looks like I gotta blast her
He said “why didn’t you kill this bih faster?”
I said “I know where you sleep, don’t give me shit
I’ll raw dog your ass with nothing but spit.”
(Yeah)
(bruh)
[Hook: Santa]
Ho ho ho-o, ho ho-o ho ho-o
Ha!
Ho ho ho-o, ho ho-o ho ho-o
Ha!
Ho ho ho-o, ho ho-o ho ho-o
Ha!
Ho ho ho-o, ho ho-o ho ho-o
Ha!
*Ho-Ho-Ho! Merry Christmas!*