Crosses Up My Ass by The Bible Boys Lyrics
[Hook: Noah Munck]
I'm a family man, I'm a Christian man
I'm a family man, I'm a Christian man
I'm a family man, I'm a Christian man
I'm a family man, I'm a Christian man
I'm a family man, I'm a Christian man
I'm a family man, I'm a Christian man
[Verse 1: Captain Zoy]
Call me roman, call me Jesus, I match hands with holes
Hope your boyfriend, he ain't see us, 'cause we switchin' roles
I be all up in those guts like a spear on the second day
You're gonna get your nut and then I'ma run away
God is black and so am I, so I'm on attack
Old testament vibes 'cause I'm on that rack
Slap that ass real hard in my Jesus merch
Wipe off your face, then we go to church
[Verse 2: Bill Goose]
Said I'm a man of god
But from the land of Sodom
Put out your hands, let me rob 'em
Then teach your children, got 'em
Tax free money, money on me
Unquestioningly trust my authority
I got a big prеacher dick, put it in your kid's face
And if I'm caught, they just movе me place to place
Your child's on my waist thinking he's a disgrace
But God loves me 'cause he hates the human race
The lord above, he really wants to give me a taste
Of my 72 virgins who for me await
[Verse 3: ValBot]
*screaming*
Brain smooth like a bowling ball
Forgot to take my adderall
If I die I to do
I don't even know what I intend to do
I've been shitting in this colander, killer I'm a loving mother
Holy sheep get... I don't know how to talk
[Verse 4: Yung Piss]
Burn bibles, fuck a nun, damn bitch I'm horny
Blastin' cities like Samson, you know we stayin' ornery
Got a devil dick, call me Satan, cummin' lava
Murder city, say it with me: pussy taste like guava
Disrespect me again, I'll go get the belt
Tie it round the ceiling fan and fucking hang myself
Bitches hatin' waitin' for the purgatory bell
Fuck a priest in the ass while we burnin' in hell
[Verse 5: Tetsuke]
*crackhead coughing*
Here's the church, here's the steeple - bust down the door and I fuck all the people
Some nuns are hot, some are ugly - doesn't matter, as long as they fuck me (Yo)
These bitches, they nail me, they think I'm Jesus
They wanna suck my penis
After my soul, my dick is the cleanest
I cum in them and tell them to yeet the fetus
My body is communion, c'mere bitch and eat this
At confession, it's a glory hole
I'm not hearing sins but I'm getting pulled
Y'all already know I fuck your bitch like a professional
A few times your grandma sucked me off in the confessional
[Verse 6: Mooga (violent)]
Little Catholic boys, so sweet and tender
You know how i like 'em, the younger the better
Fuck 'em over the altar, fuck 'em over the pews
Flip that little ass over, leave 'em sexually confused
You can cry to your parents, they'll just send you to camp
Call it "divine intervention" while I'm rimming your ass
You can tell 'em our secret, they'll just think it's a lie
I'ma write me a thesis on how to make children cry
[Hook: Noah Munck]
I'm a family man, I'm a Christian man
I'm a family man, I'm a Christian man
I'm a family man, I'm a Christian man
I'm a family man, I'm a Christian man
I'm a family man, I'm a Christian man
I'm a family man, I'm a Christian man
I'm a family man, I'm a Christian man
I'm a family man, I'm a Christian man
[Verse 7: Captain Zoy]
I'm back, like Gandalf, but I still ain't white
Like Jesus when I come 'cause you see the light
Let me leave you with a verse that will make your eyes swirl
Jesus weeps for me and this fuckin' sad world
[Outro: Noah Munck]
I'm a family man, I'm a Christian man
I'm a fa-fa-family family Christian man
I'm a family man, I'm a Christian man
I'm a family man, I'm a Christian man
I'm a family man, I'm a Christian man
I'm a family man, I'm a Christian man
I'm a family man, I'm a Christian man
I'm a family man, I'm a Christian man
[Verse 1: Captain Zoy]
Call me roman, call me Jesus, I match hands with holes
Hope your boyfriend, he ain't see us, 'cause we switchin' roles
I be all up in those guts like a spear on the second day
You're gonna get your nut and then I'ma run away
God is black and so am I, so I'm on attack
Old testament vibes 'cause I'm on that rack
Slap that ass real hard in my Jesus merch
Wipe off your face, then we go to church
[Verse 2: Bill Goose]
Said I'm a man of god
But from the land of Sodom
Put out your hands, let me rob 'em
Then teach your children, got 'em
Tax free money, money on me
Unquestioningly trust my authority
I got a big prеacher dick, put it in your kid's face
And if I'm caught, they just movе me place to place
Your child's on my waist thinking he's a disgrace
But God loves me 'cause he hates the human race
The lord above, he really wants to give me a taste
Of my 72 virgins who for me await
[Verse 3: ValBot]
*screaming*
Brain smooth like a bowling ball
Forgot to take my adderall
If I die I to do
I don't even know what I intend to do
I've been shitting in this colander, killer I'm a loving mother
Holy sheep get... I don't know how to talk
[Verse 4: Yung Piss]
Burn bibles, fuck a nun, damn bitch I'm horny
Blastin' cities like Samson, you know we stayin' ornery
Got a devil dick, call me Satan, cummin' lava
Murder city, say it with me: pussy taste like guava
Disrespect me again, I'll go get the belt
Tie it round the ceiling fan and fucking hang myself
Bitches hatin' waitin' for the purgatory bell
Fuck a priest in the ass while we burnin' in hell
[Verse 5: Tetsuke]
*crackhead coughing*
Here's the church, here's the steeple - bust down the door and I fuck all the people
Some nuns are hot, some are ugly - doesn't matter, as long as they fuck me (Yo)
These bitches, they nail me, they think I'm Jesus
They wanna suck my penis
After my soul, my dick is the cleanest
I cum in them and tell them to yeet the fetus
My body is communion, c'mere bitch and eat this
At confession, it's a glory hole
I'm not hearing sins but I'm getting pulled
Y'all already know I fuck your bitch like a professional
A few times your grandma sucked me off in the confessional
[Verse 6: Mooga (violent)]
Little Catholic boys, so sweet and tender
You know how i like 'em, the younger the better
Fuck 'em over the altar, fuck 'em over the pews
Flip that little ass over, leave 'em sexually confused
You can cry to your parents, they'll just send you to camp
Call it "divine intervention" while I'm rimming your ass
You can tell 'em our secret, they'll just think it's a lie
I'ma write me a thesis on how to make children cry
[Hook: Noah Munck]
I'm a family man, I'm a Christian man
I'm a family man, I'm a Christian man
I'm a family man, I'm a Christian man
I'm a family man, I'm a Christian man
I'm a family man, I'm a Christian man
I'm a family man, I'm a Christian man
I'm a family man, I'm a Christian man
I'm a family man, I'm a Christian man
[Verse 7: Captain Zoy]
I'm back, like Gandalf, but I still ain't white
Like Jesus when I come 'cause you see the light
Let me leave you with a verse that will make your eyes swirl
Jesus weeps for me and this fuckin' sad world
[Outro: Noah Munck]
I'm a family man, I'm a Christian man
I'm a fa-fa-family family Christian man