Why Having A Beard Is Better Than Having A Woman by The Beards Lyrics

A beard will never talk back
A beard is more attractive when it's hairy and fat
A beard will stick by you when a woman won't
A beard looks better with age
Women don't
You can attack your beard with a razor it'll keep comin back

You can stroke your beard all night
It'll never get tired
And a beard will never up and leave you
And attach itself to some other guy
No, a beard will do what you want
It will always behave
A beard will never ask you to shave
If you throw up all over your beard, your beard won't mind

A beard won't care if you're shit in the sack
And a beard will never get together with the other beards
And talk about you behind your back
No, a beard won't get angry or jealous or weird
If it sees you looking at another man's beard
A beard will never go and start having sex with some guy from her work
And then try and turn that shit around
By telling you it's your fault
'Cause you never paid any attention to her feelings...
A beard won't turn and walk away
A beard will be with you all the day
I'll take a beard over a woman any old day
I said I'll take a beard over a woman any day

Beards!