The Last Cypher | O.C.D Cypher 3 by Team Backpack Lyrics
[Verse 1: Denzil Porter]
Push, push, push, push
Push, push, push, push
Check it, uh
Mind's in an uplift
Life too short with a temper to match
So, I ain't got time for the fuck shit
You ain't gon' bang that, silly, we know you afraid to get busted
Your gun don't jam like jelly; you might as well pull up with a musket
Plus we the best thing to come out the X, and my niggas be bugging no mesh screens
We never frontin', we just like buttons
We only work when we press schemes, I'm prestige
I'm shining in here like the best sheen
I only appear with the best weed
Don't care for my bed I'm connected to the empire, watch my chest beat
Now, most of you' niggas is shitty, unless you're the kings of your city
I'm taking your crown; head gon' come with it
I would eat it now, but Chris is a vegan
Ain't giving no penis; no fucks if your favorites proceeds us
You see now I treat 'em like Negan (The Walking Dead)
Some niggas put all of their cards on the table
My nigga, we know they ain't armed, they' sleeveless - see we
Hit the scene like we know the setting
These arms are mine, they ain't Otis Redding
Go and get her, I go and get it
If I go and get 'em, then that's all he gettin'
He ain't got a set-up for no stormy weathers
Have him soakin' jealous ain't it so depressing?
Champion; you see me shoulder pressing
And I hold the ring like I stole the wedding
But look, you seem 'bout that life (yeah)
Touch that, nigga
Now, you seem 'bout your bread
What's up, my nigga?
Now, you seem motivated, my G
Go rush that, nigga
But you seem passionate, bro (fuck that nigga)
Look, let me tell you about the Bronx where shit ain't sweet, that's just jello
Where most of my homies had half-life, while you was at home playing Halo
I was in the field with the wolves, why do you think you can play with me?
We paying rental advisory, most of your [?] you claim to see
But when real nigga spitting: this ain't just words that is written, this is for legacy living
And niggas in prison and homies that didn't make it to see Christmas
See this is the difference - between me and you
You give a factual feel, but nigga: I'm actually real
You really think you can roll? I'll put your head in a barrel attached to a wheel - and
Push, push, push, push, push
[Verse 2: Oswin Benjamin]
Look
Stepped out of God mode to get into rap mode
I'm toxic when I'm in that mode
Bunch of Floyd Pattersons jabbing, lacking the skill and practice to actually scrap with this Cassius Clay, look, we're not from the same mold
Truth hurts more when it is unadulterated
This type of child play is adult rated
I've been in Emerald City too long to ever be jaded
Doctor Robotnik with enough hard drive to back up any statement
The wealth in my spirits' account could back up any statement
So my soul on a tightrope, I could fuck around and find a new balance between checking niggas for energy worth saving, I've been amazing
Been waiting on someone dreadful to come and test the patience
I see hanes in they brain waves - y'all are basic
Metaphors be on Voorhees, he's full of horror
Y'all are horrible - stand next to me and we still won't be adjacent
Friday 13th is every day for me
Boogie men on the boogie boards get a wave from me
We ain't in the same league
It's like I let my little cousin get a bucket in 21
This ain't a real game to me, so stop playing before I suit up
A lot of thumbs down for you clowns lacking that I.T. factor
Funny guys, LMAO, boo'd up
Ludacris, why would you add propane to a flame full of pain in it? That boy done chopped and screwed up
But there's a small problem
Poor thing trying to get rich off the name you gon' die trying
All you many men wishing death on me
Rest assure you gon' mirror the demise of Verne Troyer, little nigga
I'm as Ralph Abernathy as I am Huey Newton
I'm just as much Gandhi as I am Malcolm X
I'ma get my point across by any means
And no defense can stop me from crossing that line
(Chris: One, two, one, two)
I check mics like BMI
Get your ass capped trying to take mine
I don't want to hear none, not from you Mother Teresas
How you wait 'til the mic is down and then want to speak up
And doing no more cyphers, no more more smoke with this killer
Y'all could ball all you want, know I've been Kung Lao
I ever reach my cap, I'm castrating the larvar off of niggas
This Goro got firearms for you divas
(Sorry, I got out of character)
I'm on the unlockable type of black
I'm blacking out for every light, they said we was too black to see us
Back when I hated light-skinned niggas, for leaving pretty women broken; for this hussle man to pick up the pieces
Blacking out for every death I converted into a wave
Blacking out for every nap pop took from shifts from the grave
Blacking out for every drop of Razac to soften my palms through the Birdman handrub - throw respect on my name
'Cause we blacking out for every day I hated my shade
Don't take it the wrong way, I'll explain
But even at my lows, my foes look up to the soles of my feet - so stop trying to throw stones at God:
You won't reach, fucker!
[Interlude: Denzil Porter and Oswin Benjamin]
Still better than you, Os, I'm better than you
No way that you are better than me, my nigga, did you hear that shit? Nigga, I'm better than you
[Verse 3: Chris Rivers]
First of all: I'm better than everybody
Ya hobby's wobbly trying to push the peace to the Dali
Something like Benjamins, keeping one hundred
Deader than peddling, melanin, less embellishing
They saying niggas better than Chris
Who ain't dead or veterans
My presence takes precedence
Sure as Kanye got trumped by questions 'bout presidents
Who just flip lines, I'm the best in my city - skill wise
Trying to burn bridges with trolls on them like 6ix9ine
Shout out to Trey Wave got Tres Leches levels of drip
You see me coming like the head of my dick
But niggas frontin' like embezzling chips - I think y'all scared
You can hide behind my bars when your sentence is here
I'm from the cross Bronx where the intersections merge, where they kill insects and birds
Liquor, sex and herbs, and they still neglect our worth
Yeah, there (okay)
I know niggas, who know niggas, who know niggas, who blow figures - but I'm not impressed, by third party connection
Earth body projections, birth, godly possessions
First mommy was heaven, worth prolly defecting
First hobby was stressing, learned how to be present
Turned that to a weapon, burned that Smith and Wessen
Learned laughter's a blessing, worth shatters depression
Heard that like I'm shepping, uh
Live with it, though, niggas is piglets, though
I'm a wolf, when I roof, knock your roof and your house down
'Cause a nigga did blow
Most of these rappers are sounding illiterate, though
I'm never switching my flow, I'm never giving my soul
Niggas is low, they on the tips of they toe
Don't you even fucking mention my name, unless you got:
Hand verses, land searches, planned hearses, in your zone
Shit to induce the blackout like a Klan purchase
I've been the nicest by magnanimous levels
I fucking rock while y'all just grasping at pebbles
Niggas surface, I'm deeper than Devils grabbing a shovel and digging till he's cracking the metal
Y'all niggas is marked; sunlight, like the path of a freckle
A spectacle to your speckles, huh
Yo, Ozzy (yeah?), yo, Porter (Yo?)
Didn't we challenge these niggas in order to bring disorder to the typical ways of things? And it ended up being a slaughter
'Cause no one responded, besides some sly comments
And in the calmness of this contest we was like: "fuck it"
Why don't I challenge my brothers?
I'd rather damage my brothers than challenge these average advocates or letting savages hush 'em
And every time they chucked a shot right where we were standing we muffed them
The thrill of them is like fucking bitches with rubbers, it's okay
I'm busting shots and I still feel protected
And then we did this just to further the disrespect
We put our foots down and kept it there to murder these niggas' necks
I would say pause, but this' basically a facefuck
Just hear me out:
They on they knees when they face us, right?
They tearing up, not even seeds will replace us
They swallow pride and in defeat they can taste us
And then we speak because it's easy to say stuff
So spit it out, my last one, I guess I'm in and out
I said what I said: no more cyphers, fuck it, I'm switching routes
Got bigger issues than these niggas I can live without
Right? But more on that later
[Interlude: Chris Rivers, Denzil Porter, and Oswin Benjamin]
Yo, Ozzy, you seem kind of distraught, bro, you got something you want to talk about?
They ain't rap like this tonight... Ozzy are you gon' talk to 'em or you want me to say something?
You wanna talk, my bro? Yo, fuck the crowd, fuck the rap shit, like got some real shit, it's me and Denzil, we brothers, bro
We can talk later
I give 'em the talk, we gon' act like these people ain't even here, alright?
Let Denzil talk
[Verse 4: Denzil Porter]
Check it
Where do I start? There's so much shit to say
I'm using Velcro trying to stick to faith
Living life with the missing brakes
Get a pack, flip that, and bring it back like I'm missing takes
No plan, just a mission
No Thanos could make this Vision break
I always speak about drive, but it's so miscellan-eous
You done miss your lane
Now it's U turn, and your GPS signal is signalling do right, but you done left yourself
How you jump out the window trying to catch yourself?
How you gon' beat the odds if you don't bet yourself?
Stay calm and expect this hell
And don't wake to alarms that you ain't set yourself
What am I here for? Feel like a scarecrow on a sanity search
I want some more my nigga hand me a her
She want to drip like 'does this canopy work?'
I'm trying to bubble big like manatee burps
Vanity's first, but sit around 'cause I can't stand to be hurt
And feel it up till I'm feeling up, but got no hands in these shirts
Fighting the clock like do these hands even work?
Think that its time that we face the function
We' tired of faking funk
Some sensitive thugs need hugs, this one's trying to embrace the culture
Trying to face my demons, my sinus can't take this sulfur
Still trying to make the team although I didn't make the cut
I'm bruising 'em just enough, by the half I'll be chugging jumpers
I'm cut from a different cloth, wish I had a tailor: that's Shumpert
This cat that had claimed we jumped him came back, had to duck the thumber
I used to laugh, but I done lost three homies and it's just this summer
I already miss sitting on the steps with Prince, hear my homie Tori telling him that Porter better win
I envision them with feather wings, golden crowns, and leathermans
Surrounded by better things, like freaky girls with wedding rings
You feel me?
I know they watch me as I work the handle
I know they asking why I treat chances like birthday candles
I know they stressed when I miss the message and vexed when I miss my blessings
Some don't judge ignorance, some go to work with gavels
And my dog, Sarge, thinks I'm talented, but disregard the challenges
And ain't offer the job because he thought I couldn't manage it
Well a part of me agrees, but see, my daughters gotta eat
I know my cup is running full, I see each part of it that leaks
Fuck a minute, take a while
Fuck some inches, take a mile
Because 12 ain't enough, you see, that's partially defeat
Just a foot inside the door to beg your pardon, let me speak
Know my mental's kind of strong when other parts of me is weak
When it's hard up in these streets, I put my heart up in these beats
For some garbage making artist to get farther 'cause he screams
Just imaging a young fraction going hard until he bleeds
Just to have somebody average come and hog the place (he seeks)
When almost every chick you dated only came with hope you make it
Close your face, she in the matrix, getting naked for some other nigga
Or back when immigration at my place to come and take the closest thing to motivation in my face
I miss my brother, nigga!
[Verse 5: Chris Rivers]
Gotta get this thing out of me
Transmutative like Alchemy
A golden tongue that translated this child speak, silver lines
Copper coins that paid for thoughts that's transported this olive tree
So peace, peace, peace, broken down
Transmission ain't revving, I run - DMC
That's always flexing the puns, pun intended
Triple entendres extended, just to have a sentence
'Cause I hide behind these bars
When dry responses needed quenching
Take a shot, I dare you take a shot at being transparent
I ain't have a mom or dad specifically like trans parents
Just a chemical imbalance, that's teedered on the edge of madness or self-inflicted damage - so I try both
And I ain't never try hope, just struggled with the tight rope, around a ceiling fan
...
Feeling ill, trying to kill myself, trying to hang myself in my ceiling fan, see
My dad raised me to be the only boy to protect everybody
While being a direct reason why I couldn't protect anybody
The self-inflicted conflicted feelings of feeling like you gotta kill your dad to protect your mother while not protecting her feelings really got to me
Guilt ridden from considering committing this atrocity
While feeling like my sis and mom ain't have to hurt if not for me
Being so weak and worthless and my dad's deceased in hearses
An I just concede to hurting, and now I gotta be this person
To provide for them, to protect and die for them
And I'm six and never learned how to be Chris, or even try for them
I'm fearful of the size of 'em, the demons that reside in 'em
And traumatizing clips that clipped my wings before I flied for them
And they make me feel wrong just to talk about it
When it took me this long just to talk about it
'Cause my dad was a legend, that doesn't mean I'm not human
'Cause it's masked as a lesson, that doesn't mean it's abusive
'Cause I'm all in your mentions, that doesn't mean it's intrusive
And I grew up a fucking screw up with vision skewed the way that they viewed us
Feeling blue so got booed up with bitches that were only with me in case of the chance that I blew up
And I accepted it; as a neglected kid I never did love myself
They told me to be flexible, that's how they teach you to fuck yourself
And I know I'm incredible, but I never learn how to trust myself
And I know I hold back a lot, but I never learned how to hug myself
And I know I'm not defined by my past, or my inability to act because of fears of the future
And I know when I'm looking back at this moment I should've known I was chosen, the path was frozen, that's what made me much cooler
In my medulla...
[Interlude: Denzil Porter]
This ain't about you right now. It's about my man right here. Oswin talk to 'em
[Verse 6: Oswin Benjamin]
Yeah, look
Any nigga with skin dark as sin considered an orphan
Miss Hannigans had me consider deep sleep in a coffin
Hair course as a college credit
My lips like Kylie with the collagen in it
And self-hatred has been exhibited - isn't it
Magnificent how we focus more on the frivolous?
You' cute for being collagenous, ridiculous
I don't get intimate with none of those black boys, both sentences have been infamous
Subjected to these thoughts without a syllabus
Associated acts with black skin is villainous, I lack that privilege
Been taught to hate my shade before the day that I got into it
All hail the Hemmingsworths and chastise the Chadwick's Bosemen's
We praise this white God, forgetting we're royal - moments when
Thunder comes, cover my chest while I'm running from
The spears they threw at this young T'challa threw logic he's young
But he gotta be dumb, misdiagnosed, profound breath from out of my lung, Ritalin prescribed till my body was numb
They silence the tongue of this melinated Keanu Reeves
Unaware that Oswin had been a 1-of-1
Blinded by my dark side, innocent my heart cry
Never saw those heart eyes, no, my crushes fell alongside
Lighter pigment heart throbs, who never got their heart, right
(Chris: Really?)
Nigga, duh!
I hated every pretty, boujie girl passing notes to everyone, but me
My ex got paid to date me, she prolly got paid to fuck me
I prolly never got over that, I started fucking her cousin
Looking outside of myself to become someone that I wasn't, cautious
I went in raw, no intention on being awkward
She took that life inside of me the day she got that abortion
And the part that haunted me was that the lost seed didn't belong to me
It was the offspring of a breed lighter than Neosporin
Momma said that devil's working
Nah, I didn't heed the warning, being honest, speaking on this
Helped me see what's wrong, so now I can see the morning
And I hated you, hated ya smiles, hated ya grins
Put my hatred on you because that place that I lived
Places made vacant since color wars as innocent kids
Calisthenics, I pushed myself down trying to uplift more calisthenics
I pulled it together and get my chin up
Got older and brighter, realised that my darkness' a gift
My culture, the landing strip for every vulture that lit
We've been that bic, the little light that shines despite where it is
I learned that melanin on the scale outweighs gold - so if I say so
I feel the wealth inside of the skin that I'm in
This ain't no black and white thing
It's a me and you despite the feud within ourselves we identify it and get it right thing, yeah
MAKE SOME NOIISEEEEEEE!
Push, push, push, push
Push, push, push, push
Check it, uh
Mind's in an uplift
Life too short with a temper to match
So, I ain't got time for the fuck shit
You ain't gon' bang that, silly, we know you afraid to get busted
Your gun don't jam like jelly; you might as well pull up with a musket
Plus we the best thing to come out the X, and my niggas be bugging no mesh screens
We never frontin', we just like buttons
We only work when we press schemes, I'm prestige
I'm shining in here like the best sheen
I only appear with the best weed
Don't care for my bed I'm connected to the empire, watch my chest beat
Now, most of you' niggas is shitty, unless you're the kings of your city
I'm taking your crown; head gon' come with it
I would eat it now, but Chris is a vegan
Ain't giving no penis; no fucks if your favorites proceeds us
You see now I treat 'em like Negan (The Walking Dead)
Some niggas put all of their cards on the table
My nigga, we know they ain't armed, they' sleeveless - see we
Hit the scene like we know the setting
These arms are mine, they ain't Otis Redding
Go and get her, I go and get it
If I go and get 'em, then that's all he gettin'
He ain't got a set-up for no stormy weathers
Have him soakin' jealous ain't it so depressing?
Champion; you see me shoulder pressing
And I hold the ring like I stole the wedding
But look, you seem 'bout that life (yeah)
Touch that, nigga
Now, you seem 'bout your bread
What's up, my nigga?
Now, you seem motivated, my G
Go rush that, nigga
But you seem passionate, bro (fuck that nigga)
Look, let me tell you about the Bronx where shit ain't sweet, that's just jello
Where most of my homies had half-life, while you was at home playing Halo
I was in the field with the wolves, why do you think you can play with me?
We paying rental advisory, most of your [?] you claim to see
But when real nigga spitting: this ain't just words that is written, this is for legacy living
And niggas in prison and homies that didn't make it to see Christmas
See this is the difference - between me and you
You give a factual feel, but nigga: I'm actually real
You really think you can roll? I'll put your head in a barrel attached to a wheel - and
Push, push, push, push, push
[Verse 2: Oswin Benjamin]
Look
Stepped out of God mode to get into rap mode
I'm toxic when I'm in that mode
Bunch of Floyd Pattersons jabbing, lacking the skill and practice to actually scrap with this Cassius Clay, look, we're not from the same mold
Truth hurts more when it is unadulterated
This type of child play is adult rated
I've been in Emerald City too long to ever be jaded
Doctor Robotnik with enough hard drive to back up any statement
The wealth in my spirits' account could back up any statement
So my soul on a tightrope, I could fuck around and find a new balance between checking niggas for energy worth saving, I've been amazing
Been waiting on someone dreadful to come and test the patience
I see hanes in they brain waves - y'all are basic
Metaphors be on Voorhees, he's full of horror
Y'all are horrible - stand next to me and we still won't be adjacent
Friday 13th is every day for me
Boogie men on the boogie boards get a wave from me
We ain't in the same league
It's like I let my little cousin get a bucket in 21
This ain't a real game to me, so stop playing before I suit up
A lot of thumbs down for you clowns lacking that I.T. factor
Funny guys, LMAO, boo'd up
Ludacris, why would you add propane to a flame full of pain in it? That boy done chopped and screwed up
But there's a small problem
Poor thing trying to get rich off the name you gon' die trying
All you many men wishing death on me
Rest assure you gon' mirror the demise of Verne Troyer, little nigga
I'm as Ralph Abernathy as I am Huey Newton
I'm just as much Gandhi as I am Malcolm X
I'ma get my point across by any means
And no defense can stop me from crossing that line
(Chris: One, two, one, two)
I check mics like BMI
Get your ass capped trying to take mine
I don't want to hear none, not from you Mother Teresas
How you wait 'til the mic is down and then want to speak up
And doing no more cyphers, no more more smoke with this killer
Y'all could ball all you want, know I've been Kung Lao
I ever reach my cap, I'm castrating the larvar off of niggas
This Goro got firearms for you divas
(Sorry, I got out of character)
I'm on the unlockable type of black
I'm blacking out for every light, they said we was too black to see us
Back when I hated light-skinned niggas, for leaving pretty women broken; for this hussle man to pick up the pieces
Blacking out for every death I converted into a wave
Blacking out for every nap pop took from shifts from the grave
Blacking out for every drop of Razac to soften my palms through the Birdman handrub - throw respect on my name
'Cause we blacking out for every day I hated my shade
Don't take it the wrong way, I'll explain
But even at my lows, my foes look up to the soles of my feet - so stop trying to throw stones at God:
You won't reach, fucker!
[Interlude: Denzil Porter and Oswin Benjamin]
Still better than you, Os, I'm better than you
No way that you are better than me, my nigga, did you hear that shit? Nigga, I'm better than you
[Verse 3: Chris Rivers]
First of all: I'm better than everybody
Ya hobby's wobbly trying to push the peace to the Dali
Something like Benjamins, keeping one hundred
Deader than peddling, melanin, less embellishing
They saying niggas better than Chris
Who ain't dead or veterans
My presence takes precedence
Sure as Kanye got trumped by questions 'bout presidents
Who just flip lines, I'm the best in my city - skill wise
Trying to burn bridges with trolls on them like 6ix9ine
Shout out to Trey Wave got Tres Leches levels of drip
You see me coming like the head of my dick
But niggas frontin' like embezzling chips - I think y'all scared
You can hide behind my bars when your sentence is here
I'm from the cross Bronx where the intersections merge, where they kill insects and birds
Liquor, sex and herbs, and they still neglect our worth
Yeah, there (okay)
I know niggas, who know niggas, who know niggas, who blow figures - but I'm not impressed, by third party connection
Earth body projections, birth, godly possessions
First mommy was heaven, worth prolly defecting
First hobby was stressing, learned how to be present
Turned that to a weapon, burned that Smith and Wessen
Learned laughter's a blessing, worth shatters depression
Heard that like I'm shepping, uh
Live with it, though, niggas is piglets, though
I'm a wolf, when I roof, knock your roof and your house down
'Cause a nigga did blow
Most of these rappers are sounding illiterate, though
I'm never switching my flow, I'm never giving my soul
Niggas is low, they on the tips of they toe
Don't you even fucking mention my name, unless you got:
Hand verses, land searches, planned hearses, in your zone
Shit to induce the blackout like a Klan purchase
I've been the nicest by magnanimous levels
I fucking rock while y'all just grasping at pebbles
Niggas surface, I'm deeper than Devils grabbing a shovel and digging till he's cracking the metal
Y'all niggas is marked; sunlight, like the path of a freckle
A spectacle to your speckles, huh
Yo, Ozzy (yeah?), yo, Porter (Yo?)
Didn't we challenge these niggas in order to bring disorder to the typical ways of things? And it ended up being a slaughter
'Cause no one responded, besides some sly comments
And in the calmness of this contest we was like: "fuck it"
Why don't I challenge my brothers?
I'd rather damage my brothers than challenge these average advocates or letting savages hush 'em
And every time they chucked a shot right where we were standing we muffed them
The thrill of them is like fucking bitches with rubbers, it's okay
I'm busting shots and I still feel protected
And then we did this just to further the disrespect
We put our foots down and kept it there to murder these niggas' necks
I would say pause, but this' basically a facefuck
Just hear me out:
They on they knees when they face us, right?
They tearing up, not even seeds will replace us
They swallow pride and in defeat they can taste us
And then we speak because it's easy to say stuff
So spit it out, my last one, I guess I'm in and out
I said what I said: no more cyphers, fuck it, I'm switching routes
Got bigger issues than these niggas I can live without
Right? But more on that later
[Interlude: Chris Rivers, Denzil Porter, and Oswin Benjamin]
Yo, Ozzy, you seem kind of distraught, bro, you got something you want to talk about?
They ain't rap like this tonight... Ozzy are you gon' talk to 'em or you want me to say something?
You wanna talk, my bro? Yo, fuck the crowd, fuck the rap shit, like got some real shit, it's me and Denzil, we brothers, bro
We can talk later
I give 'em the talk, we gon' act like these people ain't even here, alright?
Let Denzil talk
[Verse 4: Denzil Porter]
Check it
Where do I start? There's so much shit to say
I'm using Velcro trying to stick to faith
Living life with the missing brakes
Get a pack, flip that, and bring it back like I'm missing takes
No plan, just a mission
No Thanos could make this Vision break
I always speak about drive, but it's so miscellan-eous
You done miss your lane
Now it's U turn, and your GPS signal is signalling do right, but you done left yourself
How you jump out the window trying to catch yourself?
How you gon' beat the odds if you don't bet yourself?
Stay calm and expect this hell
And don't wake to alarms that you ain't set yourself
What am I here for? Feel like a scarecrow on a sanity search
I want some more my nigga hand me a her
She want to drip like 'does this canopy work?'
I'm trying to bubble big like manatee burps
Vanity's first, but sit around 'cause I can't stand to be hurt
And feel it up till I'm feeling up, but got no hands in these shirts
Fighting the clock like do these hands even work?
Think that its time that we face the function
We' tired of faking funk
Some sensitive thugs need hugs, this one's trying to embrace the culture
Trying to face my demons, my sinus can't take this sulfur
Still trying to make the team although I didn't make the cut
I'm bruising 'em just enough, by the half I'll be chugging jumpers
I'm cut from a different cloth, wish I had a tailor: that's Shumpert
This cat that had claimed we jumped him came back, had to duck the thumber
I used to laugh, but I done lost three homies and it's just this summer
I already miss sitting on the steps with Prince, hear my homie Tori telling him that Porter better win
I envision them with feather wings, golden crowns, and leathermans
Surrounded by better things, like freaky girls with wedding rings
You feel me?
I know they watch me as I work the handle
I know they asking why I treat chances like birthday candles
I know they stressed when I miss the message and vexed when I miss my blessings
Some don't judge ignorance, some go to work with gavels
And my dog, Sarge, thinks I'm talented, but disregard the challenges
And ain't offer the job because he thought I couldn't manage it
Well a part of me agrees, but see, my daughters gotta eat
I know my cup is running full, I see each part of it that leaks
Fuck a minute, take a while
Fuck some inches, take a mile
Because 12 ain't enough, you see, that's partially defeat
Just a foot inside the door to beg your pardon, let me speak
Know my mental's kind of strong when other parts of me is weak
When it's hard up in these streets, I put my heart up in these beats
For some garbage making artist to get farther 'cause he screams
Just imaging a young fraction going hard until he bleeds
Just to have somebody average come and hog the place (he seeks)
When almost every chick you dated only came with hope you make it
Close your face, she in the matrix, getting naked for some other nigga
Or back when immigration at my place to come and take the closest thing to motivation in my face
I miss my brother, nigga!
[Verse 5: Chris Rivers]
Gotta get this thing out of me
Transmutative like Alchemy
A golden tongue that translated this child speak, silver lines
Copper coins that paid for thoughts that's transported this olive tree
So peace, peace, peace, broken down
Transmission ain't revving, I run - DMC
That's always flexing the puns, pun intended
Triple entendres extended, just to have a sentence
'Cause I hide behind these bars
When dry responses needed quenching
Take a shot, I dare you take a shot at being transparent
I ain't have a mom or dad specifically like trans parents
Just a chemical imbalance, that's teedered on the edge of madness or self-inflicted damage - so I try both
And I ain't never try hope, just struggled with the tight rope, around a ceiling fan
...
Feeling ill, trying to kill myself, trying to hang myself in my ceiling fan, see
My dad raised me to be the only boy to protect everybody
While being a direct reason why I couldn't protect anybody
The self-inflicted conflicted feelings of feeling like you gotta kill your dad to protect your mother while not protecting her feelings really got to me
Guilt ridden from considering committing this atrocity
While feeling like my sis and mom ain't have to hurt if not for me
Being so weak and worthless and my dad's deceased in hearses
An I just concede to hurting, and now I gotta be this person
To provide for them, to protect and die for them
And I'm six and never learned how to be Chris, or even try for them
I'm fearful of the size of 'em, the demons that reside in 'em
And traumatizing clips that clipped my wings before I flied for them
And they make me feel wrong just to talk about it
When it took me this long just to talk about it
'Cause my dad was a legend, that doesn't mean I'm not human
'Cause it's masked as a lesson, that doesn't mean it's abusive
'Cause I'm all in your mentions, that doesn't mean it's intrusive
And I grew up a fucking screw up with vision skewed the way that they viewed us
Feeling blue so got booed up with bitches that were only with me in case of the chance that I blew up
And I accepted it; as a neglected kid I never did love myself
They told me to be flexible, that's how they teach you to fuck yourself
And I know I'm incredible, but I never learn how to trust myself
And I know I hold back a lot, but I never learned how to hug myself
And I know I'm not defined by my past, or my inability to act because of fears of the future
And I know when I'm looking back at this moment I should've known I was chosen, the path was frozen, that's what made me much cooler
In my medulla...
[Interlude: Denzil Porter]
This ain't about you right now. It's about my man right here. Oswin talk to 'em
[Verse 6: Oswin Benjamin]
Yeah, look
Any nigga with skin dark as sin considered an orphan
Miss Hannigans had me consider deep sleep in a coffin
Hair course as a college credit
My lips like Kylie with the collagen in it
And self-hatred has been exhibited - isn't it
Magnificent how we focus more on the frivolous?
You' cute for being collagenous, ridiculous
I don't get intimate with none of those black boys, both sentences have been infamous
Subjected to these thoughts without a syllabus
Associated acts with black skin is villainous, I lack that privilege
Been taught to hate my shade before the day that I got into it
All hail the Hemmingsworths and chastise the Chadwick's Bosemen's
We praise this white God, forgetting we're royal - moments when
Thunder comes, cover my chest while I'm running from
The spears they threw at this young T'challa threw logic he's young
But he gotta be dumb, misdiagnosed, profound breath from out of my lung, Ritalin prescribed till my body was numb
They silence the tongue of this melinated Keanu Reeves
Unaware that Oswin had been a 1-of-1
Blinded by my dark side, innocent my heart cry
Never saw those heart eyes, no, my crushes fell alongside
Lighter pigment heart throbs, who never got their heart, right
(Chris: Really?)
Nigga, duh!
I hated every pretty, boujie girl passing notes to everyone, but me
My ex got paid to date me, she prolly got paid to fuck me
I prolly never got over that, I started fucking her cousin
Looking outside of myself to become someone that I wasn't, cautious
I went in raw, no intention on being awkward
She took that life inside of me the day she got that abortion
And the part that haunted me was that the lost seed didn't belong to me
It was the offspring of a breed lighter than Neosporin
Momma said that devil's working
Nah, I didn't heed the warning, being honest, speaking on this
Helped me see what's wrong, so now I can see the morning
And I hated you, hated ya smiles, hated ya grins
Put my hatred on you because that place that I lived
Places made vacant since color wars as innocent kids
Calisthenics, I pushed myself down trying to uplift more calisthenics
I pulled it together and get my chin up
Got older and brighter, realised that my darkness' a gift
My culture, the landing strip for every vulture that lit
We've been that bic, the little light that shines despite where it is
I learned that melanin on the scale outweighs gold - so if I say so
I feel the wealth inside of the skin that I'm in
This ain't no black and white thing
It's a me and you despite the feud within ourselves we identify it and get it right thing, yeah
MAKE SOME NOIISEEEEEEE!