Twilight Cogitation VI by T. Hayes Lyrics
[Verse 1]
The worst thing i know about living that it was a curse can't reverse my feelins
Demons haunt me in the worst, go to church concealin all the baggage in my attic
In my head all the madness I’mma fed to myself why they sent me to the psych ward even if i wasn't dead
I would try to more to cry more to die more or just to see the sky pour down
To the stars on the dirt givin hope to the scarred and the charred and the wars and the poisoned
The boys livin joyless or poor hate just to see all the hatred and faceless and facelifts you see givin faith to fake niggas fake shit And vacancy you muthafuckas breed all this hatred in me but i don't hate often
Way too forgiving just waste time offing niggas, in the place that they can’t fight problems
Sunken down in the middle of the sunken place steady fallin never touch the ground
Was in another state I really wish i coulda made it out instead i tasted death and prayed to drown but I'm better now
I so promise that I'm better now I will never try to let you down
I'm a better man better yet I bet I am the crown
I'm the king of my destiny now it gets harder to follow
To lead go where i go don't matter the stances
I flee to the high road I'm free, ain't no chances of me going wallow and bleed out the bottles
Deez models chose me just to beat out they sorrow this dick ain’t free agency ladies see me and go crazy, eat babies, get kicked out, then cry to they ladies
Amazin the man I’ve become as of lately, I'm sayin I’m sorry for hatin myself in my past
So much anger I made up to break up my heart into pieces and couldn't breathe hardly
So lightheaded, hard-headed, stupid, but humble, I hated my ego I ain't know i needed
I tried to be better, do better; i did, but it came at a cost: lost my confidence
I was just tryna evolve as a person but it came just to hurt me the worst
I felt worthless and thought i deserved it
Suicide was just the answer to purchase my freedom from bleeding more blood for no reason
I reasoned that anyone wanting to die, they deserved it
They earned it through thoughts that had left them uncertain
And pain was unjust just like churches, so why not desert it
You get it? Oh perfect!
So now lets move on to the surface living godless, not flawless
I'm not perfect but God is, without logic, but gives purpose for that man
I guess I’ll back down, from my cursin and pass when i get attacked down, for my worship for science and the knowledge of world for things, that can be proven
Without magic and madness, don't control, all of our masses don't fear, if the end is near, death is just
Ain't no hell burning flames on the people he made imperfect but with purpose
And plan just to leave them deserted with old books and church head who sins just like satan
He made up in haven where no sins are made and I'm lost from the loss of a logical reason to believe in a Jesus who is god but he died for no reason
Man why couldn't god just forgive without murdering his own very seed
Its just stupid believing but fuck it I'm not really stupid just funny I promise
I'm honest as two niggas fuckin in public
Not gay either you niggas lead in assumptions
If i got some money for how many times niggas thought i was gay I might be the Bill Gates
Close-minded niggas and people go stupid in presence when new things will come into play
But that shit ain't none of my business
I'm too busy runnin my business
Im too busy fuckin these bitches
No time for no feelins bitch i just need money and business bitch
Love will leave you in ditches and cryin and bitchin
Like all of my hoes that you like to call women and cherish and then you get hurt lol
Ain't none of my problem man, i just keep runnin and thrivin man
Is this the end for me yo?
Been a minute since i hit the studio
Been a minute since i hit the midi chords
All the pressure i feel makes me hit it more though
All of these artists been comin out
While I'm steady starvin and runnin out
But I don't really care about fame anymore
I've grown from my time I've spent under boards
If you chosen to shine then you will of course
Too many rhymers think they the voice
Its been so many times I've seen yall before
Too many clowns, too many androids
All of this clout won't last you forever
Too much of that power will now fuck ya head up
These are the dangers we live in, the time that were given
If you want it, get on it
Fuck what they feelin
The worst thing i know about living that it was a curse can't reverse my feelins
Demons haunt me in the worst, go to church concealin all the baggage in my attic
In my head all the madness I’mma fed to myself why they sent me to the psych ward even if i wasn't dead
I would try to more to cry more to die more or just to see the sky pour down
To the stars on the dirt givin hope to the scarred and the charred and the wars and the poisoned
The boys livin joyless or poor hate just to see all the hatred and faceless and facelifts you see givin faith to fake niggas fake shit And vacancy you muthafuckas breed all this hatred in me but i don't hate often
Way too forgiving just waste time offing niggas, in the place that they can’t fight problems
Sunken down in the middle of the sunken place steady fallin never touch the ground
Was in another state I really wish i coulda made it out instead i tasted death and prayed to drown but I'm better now
I so promise that I'm better now I will never try to let you down
I'm a better man better yet I bet I am the crown
I'm the king of my destiny now it gets harder to follow
To lead go where i go don't matter the stances
I flee to the high road I'm free, ain't no chances of me going wallow and bleed out the bottles
Deez models chose me just to beat out they sorrow this dick ain’t free agency ladies see me and go crazy, eat babies, get kicked out, then cry to they ladies
Amazin the man I’ve become as of lately, I'm sayin I’m sorry for hatin myself in my past
So much anger I made up to break up my heart into pieces and couldn't breathe hardly
So lightheaded, hard-headed, stupid, but humble, I hated my ego I ain't know i needed
I tried to be better, do better; i did, but it came at a cost: lost my confidence
I was just tryna evolve as a person but it came just to hurt me the worst
I felt worthless and thought i deserved it
Suicide was just the answer to purchase my freedom from bleeding more blood for no reason
I reasoned that anyone wanting to die, they deserved it
They earned it through thoughts that had left them uncertain
And pain was unjust just like churches, so why not desert it
You get it? Oh perfect!
So now lets move on to the surface living godless, not flawless
I'm not perfect but God is, without logic, but gives purpose for that man
I guess I’ll back down, from my cursin and pass when i get attacked down, for my worship for science and the knowledge of world for things, that can be proven
Without magic and madness, don't control, all of our masses don't fear, if the end is near, death is just
Ain't no hell burning flames on the people he made imperfect but with purpose
And plan just to leave them deserted with old books and church head who sins just like satan
He made up in haven where no sins are made and I'm lost from the loss of a logical reason to believe in a Jesus who is god but he died for no reason
Man why couldn't god just forgive without murdering his own very seed
Its just stupid believing but fuck it I'm not really stupid just funny I promise
I'm honest as two niggas fuckin in public
Not gay either you niggas lead in assumptions
If i got some money for how many times niggas thought i was gay I might be the Bill Gates
Close-minded niggas and people go stupid in presence when new things will come into play
But that shit ain't none of my business
I'm too busy runnin my business
Im too busy fuckin these bitches
No time for no feelins bitch i just need money and business bitch
Love will leave you in ditches and cryin and bitchin
Like all of my hoes that you like to call women and cherish and then you get hurt lol
Ain't none of my problem man, i just keep runnin and thrivin man
Is this the end for me yo?
Been a minute since i hit the studio
Been a minute since i hit the midi chords
All the pressure i feel makes me hit it more though
All of these artists been comin out
While I'm steady starvin and runnin out
But I don't really care about fame anymore
I've grown from my time I've spent under boards
If you chosen to shine then you will of course
Too many rhymers think they the voice
Its been so many times I've seen yall before
Too many clowns, too many androids
All of this clout won't last you forever
Too much of that power will now fuck ya head up
These are the dangers we live in, the time that were given
If you want it, get on it
Fuck what they feelin