Interview by Sur5ILL Lyrics
[Refrain] (x2)
Ready to work again, hope I remember how to
This time is different, a change of heart I vow to
Not be so insolent 'cuz there's no sacred cow rule
Ready to work again, I hope that I remember how to
[Verse 1]
(OK)
I received a phone call from the recruiter on a Tuesday
An interview was offered for tomorrow, I said that noon's great
We exchanged pleasantries and said goodbye, I spread the news scape
My head got so big until it resembled a balloon's shape
Suit is black--make sure the route's exact
I'm perusing maps to use on my Google app
If the traffic's brutal
Grab the train and (and)
Add the time it takes to drive and quadruple that
Nah, actually I went ahead and put the suit back
I want to look astute (YEAH) but not so much like a douchebag
Next day, I prepped and studied five business guides
Left an hour early even though it's a nine minute drive
During the ride, halfway through there's bumpers and cluttered wreckage
And motherfuckers in Hummers texting and rubbernecking
I saw that a tanker's axle was axed off of the chassis
I'm stuck in traffic when ambulance sirens happened to pass me
Oh well, I'm fucked, I tried to call and explain when I might come
'Cuz I'm running late, I should've done a dry run--well, strike one
[Hook]
Ready to work again, contribute to society
I have so much anxiety on whether or not they'll hire me
I'm interviewing finally (x2)
I hope they fucking hire me (x2)
[Verse 2]
(Uh huh)
I finally arrived at the room half past noon
Though I left a voicemail saying I'd be there as soon
As possible, there's obstacles--apologized for the lapse, dude
She explained that her schedule was more full than our last moon
I observed her body language, it included snobby slang which
Reeked of upper class--solely part of the heart of Cambridge
I kept trying to make eye contact but the lame bitch
Was looking disinterested after hearing my main pitch
All of the canned questions she handed me
Were answered candidly as she was scanning me
To see where I stand and where I plan to be
In five years--it's such a stupid question--grant me amnesty
I said [position X] in the [blahblahblah] branded family
Now it's far fetched landing this goddamn job is a fantasy
There's no way I'd seal the deal, like bartering with manatees
In the grand scheme, it was ruthless hubris or vanity
That I could coast and get offered a letter much like Vanna needs
[Hook]
[Verse 3]
Next, she asked me to freestyle--and I said "uhh uhh" and stumbled
I just buried myself with a shovel inside of a puddle
Of doo doo butter I rumbled from my stomach, I struggled
To recite lines from #nerddom, she heard them and looked real puzzled
I've rapped it a million times either in crowds or solo
I feel like Tony Romo in fourth quarters or Lolo
Jones hopping the hurdle, I turtled, this is a no-go
I'm up shit's creek with a leak and one oar on a rowboat
The lady sat and nodded with her pad and jotted flow notes
I just blew it musically like on saxes and oboes
Before the interview I felt un poco like a yoko-
Zuna--but since then I got canned like tuna I feel like "Ono"
What the hell is the point of downing a bowl of Total?
Or Wheaties, the shit deceives me, my emotions turn from hopeful
I thought I'd find the answers on social media by mobile
But after this interview I evacuated: Chernobyl (WORK)
Ready to work again, hope I remember how to
This time is different, a change of heart I vow to
Not be so insolent 'cuz there's no sacred cow rule
Ready to work again, I hope that I remember how to
[Verse 1]
(OK)
I received a phone call from the recruiter on a Tuesday
An interview was offered for tomorrow, I said that noon's great
We exchanged pleasantries and said goodbye, I spread the news scape
My head got so big until it resembled a balloon's shape
Suit is black--make sure the route's exact
I'm perusing maps to use on my Google app
If the traffic's brutal
Grab the train and (and)
Add the time it takes to drive and quadruple that
Nah, actually I went ahead and put the suit back
I want to look astute (YEAH) but not so much like a douchebag
Next day, I prepped and studied five business guides
Left an hour early even though it's a nine minute drive
During the ride, halfway through there's bumpers and cluttered wreckage
And motherfuckers in Hummers texting and rubbernecking
I saw that a tanker's axle was axed off of the chassis
I'm stuck in traffic when ambulance sirens happened to pass me
Oh well, I'm fucked, I tried to call and explain when I might come
'Cuz I'm running late, I should've done a dry run--well, strike one
[Hook]
Ready to work again, contribute to society
I have so much anxiety on whether or not they'll hire me
I'm interviewing finally (x2)
I hope they fucking hire me (x2)
[Verse 2]
(Uh huh)
I finally arrived at the room half past noon
Though I left a voicemail saying I'd be there as soon
As possible, there's obstacles--apologized for the lapse, dude
She explained that her schedule was more full than our last moon
I observed her body language, it included snobby slang which
Reeked of upper class--solely part of the heart of Cambridge
I kept trying to make eye contact but the lame bitch
Was looking disinterested after hearing my main pitch
All of the canned questions she handed me
Were answered candidly as she was scanning me
To see where I stand and where I plan to be
In five years--it's such a stupid question--grant me amnesty
I said [position X] in the [blahblahblah] branded family
Now it's far fetched landing this goddamn job is a fantasy
There's no way I'd seal the deal, like bartering with manatees
In the grand scheme, it was ruthless hubris or vanity
That I could coast and get offered a letter much like Vanna needs
[Hook]
[Verse 3]
Next, she asked me to freestyle--and I said "uhh uhh" and stumbled
I just buried myself with a shovel inside of a puddle
Of doo doo butter I rumbled from my stomach, I struggled
To recite lines from #nerddom, she heard them and looked real puzzled
I've rapped it a million times either in crowds or solo
I feel like Tony Romo in fourth quarters or Lolo
Jones hopping the hurdle, I turtled, this is a no-go
I'm up shit's creek with a leak and one oar on a rowboat
The lady sat and nodded with her pad and jotted flow notes
I just blew it musically like on saxes and oboes
Before the interview I felt un poco like a yoko-
Zuna--but since then I got canned like tuna I feel like "Ono"
What the hell is the point of downing a bowl of Total?
Or Wheaties, the shit deceives me, my emotions turn from hopeful
I thought I'd find the answers on social media by mobile
But after this interview I evacuated: Chernobyl (WORK)