Vaseline by Serrabulho Lyrics

It’s not time to masturbate
Just relax, take it easy
Yours is still small, that’s your fault
That’s so far you have to grow

Find an oil, take a porn
If you want, use a Vaseline
Look at me, mine is old
But I’m fertile

Mine was once like yours is now
And I know that it’s not easy
It’s precum when you’ve found
Something cumming out

But take your time, enjoy your porn
Think of everything you’ve seen
For your dick will grow tomorrow
But your balls may not

How can I try to explain?
When I do, my cum goes again
It’s always been a shame
Same old story
From the moment I could shake
It’s always just precum now
There’s a way, and I know
That I have to bang a whore
I know, I have to go

There was a virgin named Magdalene
She was told to use Vaseline
Thought copulating was hard
And put her vagina on guard
Got a bit sore from too much male entry
The guy’s burrito wasn’t too gentle
At least there was Vaseline in her crack
Thus she was able to screw Jack

Vaseline, Vaseline!

There was this fellow homosexual
Thought asses were very sensual
Had to lubricate the sausage
To avoid some anal blockage

Others have to play it solo
And strangle their own pink oboe
But don’t overdo on masturbation
Or you may find yourself with a penile dislocation
Sometimes you have to do the plumbing
Before you proceed to the actual humping
That’s why vaseline is the best lubricant
To make your genitals jubilant