Cant help but wonder if it was ever real to you by Sammy Ray Lyrics

I know you’ve been friends since early high school
But that doesn’t mean you gotta act like that
But it’s cool
At the time I wasn’t sure if it was more than that
And im sorry that the pills weigh on you like that
I don’t know why im writing this cuz honestly i hate you
Or is it the fact that i somewhat miss you
I can’t sleep at night
I can’t weep at night
I just gotta hold on tight
I dont whether you were scared
You just fucked up