The Campfire Song by Rob Rokicki Lyrics

[Luke}
Come one, grab some ambrosia, and let the nectar flow

[Percy]
Why is everyone scraping part of their plate into the fire?
Is the food here really that bad?

[Luke]
Offering to the gods, it’s not enough
And they’re omnipotent
And all-powerful
They need to feel appreciated!
To the gods

[All]
To the gods

[Luke]
Oh, things couldn’t be worse
When your parents run the universe
[All]
Oh, things couldn’t be worse
When your folks run the universe

[Luke]
My dad is Hermes, he messages things
You’ll know his sign by his shoes with those wings
I wait by the phone, but, the phone never rings!
Oh no…

When your dad’s a god, life can be tough
I met the guy once
And once was enough

Annabeth!

[Annabeth]
Well my mom’s Athena, she’s smart and she’s wise
She swore off gluten and she swore off guys
But if she came to came, it’d be a surprise
Oh no…

[All]
Oh no…

[Annabeth]
Oh and my stepmom, she hates me and my dad works all day
So I left Virginia
And I ran away
[Percy]
Wait, is that true?

[Luke]
Everybody…

[All]
Oh, things couldn’t be worse
When your parents run the universe
Oh, things couldn’t be worse
When your folks run the universe

[Luke]
Alright, who’s next?

[Katie]
Oh, let me see, um
My mom’s Demeter, goddess of grains
She gets excited when it’s starts to rain
But planting and planting and planting’s a pain!
Oh no…

[All]
Oh no…

[Katie]
Right?!
For their sixteenth birthday, my friends got a car!
I got a fern in some dumb mason jar!
[Grover]
Ooh, ooh, my turn!
I’m the child of Pan, god of the wild
For those who love nature they’re often beguiled
He’s not really my dad, but I’m sort of his child
Oh no…

[All]
Oh no…

[Grover]
He went for a hike, to explore new frontiers
And no one and seen him
For thousands of years!

[All]
Oh, things couldn’t be worse
When your parents run the universe
Oh, things couldn’t be worse
When your folks run the universe

[Percy]
Chiron! Who’s your dad?

[Chiron]
Oh, well…
My father is Kronos
Remember my lecture? He ate is children

[Luke]
Chiron wins!

[All]
*Agrees*

[Luke]
How about you, Silena?

[Silena]
The goddess of love, my mom’s Aphrodite
She tried to be cool, but mainly she’s flighty
I’ll bring home a boy, and she’s there in her nighty!

[All]
Oh no!

[Silena]
It’s so embarrassing, guys!
I try to seek help, from even the fates
Cause she steals my mascara
And all of my dates

[Luke]
Alright, Percy, it’s your turn!

[Percy]
If I try to sing, it’ll probably cause an avalanche

[Luke]
Aww, we’re all friends here, just give it a shot

[Percy]
Ok
So my mom was named Sally, she loved scary movies
The food that was blue and-

[Katie]
He’s doing it wrong

[Silena]
Yeah, who’s your godly parent?

[Percy]
Oh, I don’t know

[Luke]
It’s alright, a lot of half-bloods don’t know their godly parent
Just give it a shot

[Percy]
Um…
So my dad is some guy, that’s great I guess
Did he not want me or not want the stress
Too bad he’s the worst, and my life is a mess!
Oh no…

[All]
Oh yes, Percy!!

[Percy]
I hope he shows, even a trace
Cause I’ve got some choice words
To throw at his face!

[All]
Yes, Percy, that’s what I’m talking about!

[All]
Oh, things couldn’t be worse
When your parents run the universe
Oh, things couldn’t be worse

[Luke]
But I don’t care where our parents may be
As long as you are here with me

[All]
We don’t care where our parents may be
As long as you are here with me
As long as you are here with me!