We Know Best Cut from ReeferMadness Early in the Original Run by Reefer Madness Original Los Angeles Company Lyrics
[JIMMY, spoken]
Mom, dad, I'm so ashamed. I thought I knew what I was doing. I thought I could handle the reefer
[JIMMY'S DAD, spoken]
Well Jimmy, you're only a teenager
[JIMMY'S MOM, spoken]
You're still a long way from making your own decisions
[JIMMY, spoken]
What's that supposed to mean?
[JIMMY'S DAD, spoken]
Let me put it to you this way
[JIMMY'S DAD]
Body's getting taller
Peach fuzz on your face
Your teenage brain is growing
But at a slower pace
Attempts at thinking
Are premature
I'm your dad
And I know best
[JIMMY, spoken]
Aw come on pop, what could you possibly know about marijuana?
[JIMMY'S DAD, spoken]
A great deal. Thanks to the crackerjack journalism of that great American billionaire Mr. William Randolph Hearst
[JIMMY'S MOM, spoken]
He's dedicated his political influence and many millions of dollars to the noble cause of informing parents about the true dangers posed by the green misery
[JIMMY'S DAD, spoken]
Look at these headlines. "Hasheesh goads users to bloodlust," "If the monster Frankenstein came face to face with marijuana he would drop dead of fright," "Marijuana is responsible for the raping of white women by crazed negros."
[JIMMY, spoken]
Wow! Frankenstein! Is all that true?
[JIMMY'S MOM, spoken]
If it weren't they certainly wouldn't print it in the papers now would they silly
[JIMMY'S MOM]
Clammy handed d*rkies
With twitching throbbing hips
Reefer sticks protruding
From their gigantic lips
We learn about them
From Mr. Hearst
He's white
And he knows best
[JIMMY, spoken]
Gosh all hemlock! What else does Mr. Hearst say?
[JIMMY'S DAD]
He warns of the wily Chinese
[JIMMY'S MOM]
The yellow peril
[JIMMY'S DAD]
With eyes that squint and slope
[JIMMY'S MOM]
From smoking opium
[JIMMY'S DAD]
Expanding our lexicons
Tells us how Mexicans
Lust for dope
[JIMMY'S MOM]
It makes them lazy
[JIMMY'S DAD]
His papers shine a light
[JIMMY'S MOM]
Shine a light
[JIMMY'S PARENTS]
On godless foreign thirst
No one dares to tell the truth
Like William Randolph Hearst
[JIMMY, spoken]
Jeepers! I had no idea everybody was out to get us white people!
[JIMMY'S DAD, spoken]
That realization only comes with experience and education champ
[JIMMY, spoken]
You're right dad. My big mistake was trying to think for myself. I figured I had all the answers
[JIMMY'S DAD, spoken]
But now?
[JIMMY, spoken]
Well, maybe you should take a paddle to my tender young bun so I don't forget this important lesson again
[JIMMY'S DAD, spoken]
That's my boy!
[JIMMY'S MOM, spoken]
I'm so proud of you
[JIMMY'S DAD, spoken]
Friends! Neighbors! Local scout leaders and clergy, let's all pitch in and take a whack at Jimmy's rumble seat!
[JIMMY]
The board of education
Will tan my foolish hide
[ENSEMBLE]
Till we've finally snuffed out
That stubborn teenage pride
Sweet absolution
From cheek to cheek
[JIMMY}
Do your worst
Cause you know best
[ENSEMBLE]
We know best
When your rump is black and blue
It hurts us more than it hurts you
When the crack begins to show
Trust us Jimmy we know best
Mom, dad, I'm so ashamed. I thought I knew what I was doing. I thought I could handle the reefer
[JIMMY'S DAD, spoken]
Well Jimmy, you're only a teenager
[JIMMY'S MOM, spoken]
You're still a long way from making your own decisions
[JIMMY, spoken]
What's that supposed to mean?
[JIMMY'S DAD, spoken]
Let me put it to you this way
[JIMMY'S DAD]
Body's getting taller
Peach fuzz on your face
Your teenage brain is growing
But at a slower pace
Attempts at thinking
Are premature
I'm your dad
And I know best
[JIMMY, spoken]
Aw come on pop, what could you possibly know about marijuana?
[JIMMY'S DAD, spoken]
A great deal. Thanks to the crackerjack journalism of that great American billionaire Mr. William Randolph Hearst
[JIMMY'S MOM, spoken]
He's dedicated his political influence and many millions of dollars to the noble cause of informing parents about the true dangers posed by the green misery
[JIMMY'S DAD, spoken]
Look at these headlines. "Hasheesh goads users to bloodlust," "If the monster Frankenstein came face to face with marijuana he would drop dead of fright," "Marijuana is responsible for the raping of white women by crazed negros."
[JIMMY, spoken]
Wow! Frankenstein! Is all that true?
[JIMMY'S MOM, spoken]
If it weren't they certainly wouldn't print it in the papers now would they silly
[JIMMY'S MOM]
Clammy handed d*rkies
With twitching throbbing hips
Reefer sticks protruding
From their gigantic lips
We learn about them
From Mr. Hearst
He's white
And he knows best
[JIMMY, spoken]
Gosh all hemlock! What else does Mr. Hearst say?
[JIMMY'S DAD]
He warns of the wily Chinese
[JIMMY'S MOM]
The yellow peril
[JIMMY'S DAD]
With eyes that squint and slope
[JIMMY'S MOM]
From smoking opium
[JIMMY'S DAD]
Expanding our lexicons
Tells us how Mexicans
Lust for dope
[JIMMY'S MOM]
It makes them lazy
[JIMMY'S DAD]
His papers shine a light
[JIMMY'S MOM]
Shine a light
[JIMMY'S PARENTS]
On godless foreign thirst
No one dares to tell the truth
Like William Randolph Hearst
[JIMMY, spoken]
Jeepers! I had no idea everybody was out to get us white people!
[JIMMY'S DAD, spoken]
That realization only comes with experience and education champ
[JIMMY, spoken]
You're right dad. My big mistake was trying to think for myself. I figured I had all the answers
[JIMMY'S DAD, spoken]
But now?
[JIMMY, spoken]
Well, maybe you should take a paddle to my tender young bun so I don't forget this important lesson again
[JIMMY'S DAD, spoken]
That's my boy!
[JIMMY'S MOM, spoken]
I'm so proud of you
[JIMMY'S DAD, spoken]
Friends! Neighbors! Local scout leaders and clergy, let's all pitch in and take a whack at Jimmy's rumble seat!
[JIMMY]
The board of education
Will tan my foolish hide
[ENSEMBLE]
Till we've finally snuffed out
That stubborn teenage pride
Sweet absolution
From cheek to cheek
[JIMMY}
Do your worst
Cause you know best
[ENSEMBLE]
We know best
When your rump is black and blue
It hurts us more than it hurts you
When the crack begins to show
Trust us Jimmy we know best