My First Wife I Met Her in Milwaukee I Tell the Truth Sonny Charles by Redd Foxx Lyrics
That's why I don't like pretty broads, man, always asking for something—can you have, can I borrow? You spare me something, all that shit, man, I don't wanna hear that. My first wife was beautiful. Said, "Foxx, what'll I have to do to get a mink?" I said, "You gon' have to do like the minks do, only steadier, and with strangers." I don't want no more of them. Goddamn beautiful women. I met her in Milwaukee—I was drunk that night. I was laying on the floor trying to pick up my dog tags. And she looked up at me. She said, "Foxx," I said, "We might as well." I like to get drunk like that, it's a good feeling. Praying to the Lord as the room stops. See, a lot of people think Jews killed Jesus. That's wrong—niggas begged Jesus to death. "Oh Lord, send me my rent. Oh Lord, let me find some extra money here on the street. Send me someone to love, Jesus." Jesus said, "Ah shit, man, just nail me to the cross, I can't stand no more..." See, I tell the truth. Truth must prevail. If Thomas Edison had been a nigga, we'd be sitting here in the dark.
Oh, that's him, give him a round of applause, ladies and gentlemen, fine performer, former member of, uh, goddamn, what's the name of that brother? (Checkmate) Checkmate—let's give a round of applause—what's his last name? (Charles) Right, here's a gentlemen, it's Sonny, was written for, no question about it, Sonny Charles, give him a great big round of applause, ladies and gentlemen, former Checkmate. Take a little bow there. Come on, let 'em see you back here. Sonny Charles, folks, give him a great big round of applause for Sonny Charles. Excuse me, buddy, waiter (Come dance)—ah, come dance, why don't you freeze? That's not nice to do that, get in everything, he don't know you. Come dance. You think all people dance 'cause they got color in 'em? He's no dancer, he's a singer. (No, he dances, too) I dance, but I ain't 'cause ain't no money in it. Hell, I don't wanna dance—you all think we Heebie Jeebies and Mississippi Mud and all that bullshit, man. Please don't play that, I don't want people to know you know that record from me. "Hey, hey"—I can't stand them old tunes. Thomas—what's his name, bastard—"I hear the gentle voices calling, old, black, old," and Joe said, "I'm coming, I'm coming," and here's the clincher, "and my head is bending low."
Oh, that's him, give him a round of applause, ladies and gentlemen, fine performer, former member of, uh, goddamn, what's the name of that brother? (Checkmate) Checkmate—let's give a round of applause—what's his last name? (Charles) Right, here's a gentlemen, it's Sonny, was written for, no question about it, Sonny Charles, give him a great big round of applause, ladies and gentlemen, former Checkmate. Take a little bow there. Come on, let 'em see you back here. Sonny Charles, folks, give him a great big round of applause for Sonny Charles. Excuse me, buddy, waiter (Come dance)—ah, come dance, why don't you freeze? That's not nice to do that, get in everything, he don't know you. Come dance. You think all people dance 'cause they got color in 'em? He's no dancer, he's a singer. (No, he dances, too) I dance, but I ain't 'cause ain't no money in it. Hell, I don't wanna dance—you all think we Heebie Jeebies and Mississippi Mud and all that bullshit, man. Please don't play that, I don't want people to know you know that record from me. "Hey, hey"—I can't stand them old tunes. Thomas—what's his name, bastard—"I hear the gentle voices calling, old, black, old," and Joe said, "I'm coming, I'm coming," and here's the clincher, "and my head is bending low."