Holy Shit Its Christmas by Red Peters Lyrics
Hamster #1: Did you hear that?
Hamster #2: Hey everybody, Santa's here!
Hamster #3: Aw, there ain't no Santa Claus
Hamster #2: There is, too!
Hamsters: He's here!!!
Red: Ho, ho, ho...Merry Christmas, boys!
Hamster #1: Aw shit, it's Red Peters!
Red: C'mon, you swinging hamsters, get over here. We're gonna sing us a happy Christmas song
Hamster #3: Oh no, not another corny, stupid song!
Hamster #2: Yeah, no way, man
Hamster #1: Yeah, you tell him Raleigh
Red: Get over here and sing or I'll wring your little necks
Hamsters: Okay, okay
Red:
Grab your nuts hamsters, gather 'round with me
Forget about all that teasin'
We're breaking out the holly and aluminum tree
Cause it's that jolly season (Oh boy!)
I know you've been naughty, but have you been nice?
That's only Santa's business
He's making his list and he's checking it twice
All: Holy shit, it's Christmas!
Hamsters:
Santa comes just once a year (tell 'em hamsters!)
Just like you, Red. That's what we hear (hey, wait a minute!)
He's got a soft spot for reindeer (oh, that's nice)
Especially Rudolph's derierre
Red:
Hey, knock it off fellas. It's a holiday
Go on, give Santa a big kiss (no way!)
You can play "hide the hamster" on the one-horse sleigh (hey, wait a minute!)
All: Holy shit, it's Christmas!
Red: Hey, what happened to my lyric sheet? Anyone seen my lyrics?
Hamster #1: Heck, we don't need no lyric sheets, Red. We know our parts by heart. Right, fellas?
Hamster #3: Yeah sure, I know my part, Godfried
Hamster #2: Yeah me too
Red: Well that's great, guys. I love Christmas songs
Hamster #1: Santa tried reaching up the neighbor's blouse
After drinking all the egg nog (is that necessary?)
Hamster #2: Camped out in the bathroom for an hour or two
Squashing off a yule log (Gottfried!!)
Hamster #3: He wandered in his undies all over the house
But we minded our own business (oh, brother!)
Hamsters: Til we caught him stuffing hamsters up a gift wrap tube
All: Holy shit, it's Christmas
Red:
Santa comes just once a year
Up the chimney he'll disappear
Hamsters:
Keep on the lookout for Mr. Gere
Hamster deliveries in the rear
Red:
Gimme those lyrics
Roastnuts chestin' on an open fire
Santa's tongue stuck to the doorknob, what?
His balls got fondled by a caroling choir
While the parson gave him a hand...what?
The sleigh came down and took him away
The whole damn crowd was dismissed
All:
'Cause it's a time to be jolly and a time to be gay
Holy shit, it's Christmas
Holy shit, it's Christmas
Holy Shit! It's Christmas!
Hamster #2: Hey everybody, Santa's here!
Hamster #3: Aw, there ain't no Santa Claus
Hamster #2: There is, too!
Hamsters: He's here!!!
Red: Ho, ho, ho...Merry Christmas, boys!
Hamster #1: Aw shit, it's Red Peters!
Red: C'mon, you swinging hamsters, get over here. We're gonna sing us a happy Christmas song
Hamster #3: Oh no, not another corny, stupid song!
Hamster #2: Yeah, no way, man
Hamster #1: Yeah, you tell him Raleigh
Red: Get over here and sing or I'll wring your little necks
Hamsters: Okay, okay
Red:
Grab your nuts hamsters, gather 'round with me
Forget about all that teasin'
We're breaking out the holly and aluminum tree
Cause it's that jolly season (Oh boy!)
I know you've been naughty, but have you been nice?
That's only Santa's business
He's making his list and he's checking it twice
All: Holy shit, it's Christmas!
Hamsters:
Santa comes just once a year (tell 'em hamsters!)
Just like you, Red. That's what we hear (hey, wait a minute!)
He's got a soft spot for reindeer (oh, that's nice)
Especially Rudolph's derierre
Red:
Hey, knock it off fellas. It's a holiday
Go on, give Santa a big kiss (no way!)
You can play "hide the hamster" on the one-horse sleigh (hey, wait a minute!)
All: Holy shit, it's Christmas!
Red: Hey, what happened to my lyric sheet? Anyone seen my lyrics?
Hamster #1: Heck, we don't need no lyric sheets, Red. We know our parts by heart. Right, fellas?
Hamster #3: Yeah sure, I know my part, Godfried
Hamster #2: Yeah me too
Red: Well that's great, guys. I love Christmas songs
Hamster #1: Santa tried reaching up the neighbor's blouse
After drinking all the egg nog (is that necessary?)
Hamster #2: Camped out in the bathroom for an hour or two
Squashing off a yule log (Gottfried!!)
Hamster #3: He wandered in his undies all over the house
But we minded our own business (oh, brother!)
Hamsters: Til we caught him stuffing hamsters up a gift wrap tube
All: Holy shit, it's Christmas
Red:
Santa comes just once a year
Up the chimney he'll disappear
Hamsters:
Keep on the lookout for Mr. Gere
Hamster deliveries in the rear
Red:
Gimme those lyrics
Roastnuts chestin' on an open fire
Santa's tongue stuck to the doorknob, what?
His balls got fondled by a caroling choir
While the parson gave him a hand...what?
The sleigh came down and took him away
The whole damn crowd was dismissed
All:
'Cause it's a time to be jolly and a time to be gay
Holy shit, it's Christmas
Holy shit, it's Christmas
Holy Shit! It's Christmas!