Ted Cruz- GOP Dropout by Randy Rainbow Lyrics
TED CRUZ: (spoken)
But with boundless optimism, for the long-term future of our nation, we are suspending our campaign
RANDY:
You fin'lly met your fate
You lost the Hoosier state
Poor Heidi got an elbow in the head
It must have been frustratin'
When Boehner called you Satan
Your slogan should have been eliminaTED!
GOP dropout
Looks like you're not the nominee
GOP dropout
You ate your boogers on TV
Well, you fought for all those delegates, but looks like Donald got 'em
So I guess if Donald Trump's the top, then that makes you the bottom!
(spoken)
I always figured
(sung)
GOP dropout (GOP dropout)
Baby, I'll miss your doublespeak
GOP dropout (GOP dropout)
Your Christian values were on fleek (YAS)
But you messed with the New Yorkers, so I guess you're out of luck
As the New Yorkers say, f**k you, you f**king f**k!
(spoken)
Go Mets, or whatever
Ah, gee, Teddy, do you really have to go so soon?
I'm just kidding, get the f**k out
I sure am gonna miss the way you used to awkwardly contort your face to make it appear as though you were expressing human emotions!
Sure, you lost to an orange reality TV star with virtually no qualifications and Hitler-like tendencies, but hey, no one can say you didn't try! Like that time you teamed up with John Kasich. The two of you were a regular Hollywood power couple! You know, like Kate Winslet and Leo DiCaprio. (pause) In Titanic
Or that time you picked vaginas out of a hat and decided to make Carly Fiorina your "vice president"? Everyone knows she's just a singer!
Anyway, don't be a stranger, okay, Teddy? And hey, if it's any consolation, every time I used the hashtag "I'm With Her"?
I was talking 'bout you
(sung)
GOP dropout
As they say in Cuba, adios
GOP dropout (GOP dropout)
Even your daughters think you're gross (La-la-la)
Well, you thought you could be president, but looks like that's a no, bitch
'Cause you talk too much and look just like that girl on Maury Povich!
(spoken)
Pretty
(sung)
Baby, be cautious (Be cautious)
'Cause your career is going south
You made me nauseous (So nauseous)
You know, like when you get diarrhea? In your mouth? (Ew)
Now go back to bed, no lying, Ted, it's time for you to fly
I'm gonna tell you what I told Felicia- bye
(Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba)
Please take Carly too!
But with boundless optimism, for the long-term future of our nation, we are suspending our campaign
RANDY:
You fin'lly met your fate
You lost the Hoosier state
Poor Heidi got an elbow in the head
It must have been frustratin'
When Boehner called you Satan
Your slogan should have been eliminaTED!
GOP dropout
Looks like you're not the nominee
GOP dropout
You ate your boogers on TV
Well, you fought for all those delegates, but looks like Donald got 'em
So I guess if Donald Trump's the top, then that makes you the bottom!
(spoken)
I always figured
(sung)
GOP dropout (GOP dropout)
Baby, I'll miss your doublespeak
GOP dropout (GOP dropout)
Your Christian values were on fleek (YAS)
But you messed with the New Yorkers, so I guess you're out of luck
As the New Yorkers say, f**k you, you f**king f**k!
(spoken)
Go Mets, or whatever
Ah, gee, Teddy, do you really have to go so soon?
I'm just kidding, get the f**k out
I sure am gonna miss the way you used to awkwardly contort your face to make it appear as though you were expressing human emotions!
Sure, you lost to an orange reality TV star with virtually no qualifications and Hitler-like tendencies, but hey, no one can say you didn't try! Like that time you teamed up with John Kasich. The two of you were a regular Hollywood power couple! You know, like Kate Winslet and Leo DiCaprio. (pause) In Titanic
Or that time you picked vaginas out of a hat and decided to make Carly Fiorina your "vice president"? Everyone knows she's just a singer!
Anyway, don't be a stranger, okay, Teddy? And hey, if it's any consolation, every time I used the hashtag "I'm With Her"?
I was talking 'bout you
(sung)
GOP dropout
As they say in Cuba, adios
GOP dropout (GOP dropout)
Even your daughters think you're gross (La-la-la)
Well, you thought you could be president, but looks like that's a no, bitch
'Cause you talk too much and look just like that girl on Maury Povich!
(spoken)
Pretty
(sung)
Baby, be cautious (Be cautious)
'Cause your career is going south
You made me nauseous (So nauseous)
You know, like when you get diarrhea? In your mouth? (Ew)
Now go back to bed, no lying, Ted, it's time for you to fly
I'm gonna tell you what I told Felicia- bye
(Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba)
Please take Carly too!