Stuck in the Bathroom by Rachel Bloom Lyrics

[PAULA, spoken]
Get me out of here!

[REBECCA, spoken]
I am trying!

[HEATHER]
Paula's stuck in the bathroom
This night was already super weird
And now she's stuck in the bathroom
Whoever renovated this house did a terrible job

Valencia walks up to the beam and says
"I can try. I have a deceptive amount of
Muscular strength due to my amazing core"

Paula calls out from the bathroom
"Her little bird arms are not going to do anything."

Then I step up and I'm like
"I'll try. My second sophomore year I took
A kinesiology class. That's college for gym"
Nothing happens

Then we all look over at Karen
The kinda deranged women who's pretending
To be some french chick
Karen says, "Sorry Angelique has an epigastric hernia"

[HEATHER, spoken]
Gross

[HEATHER]
I've had enough so I say we need
To call someone

She's stuck in the bathroom
She's stuck in the bathroom

Let's call 9-1-1

Wow I can't believe it took us that long
To come up with this most obvious solution
Kind of embarrassing

Now Rebecca jumps and shouts
"Yes, yes hang in there Paula
We're gonna get you out"
And she runs over to the phone panicking
Meanwhile, Paula's still stuck in the bathroom

[REBECCA, spoken]
Shhh...I'm on the phone!

[HEATHER, spoken]
Sorry