I Give Good Parent by Rachel Bloom Lyrics

[REBECCA]
I give good parent

I give good parent

I give good parent 
[MRS. CHAN]
She gives good parent

She gives real good parent

She gives good parent
To parents like me[REBECCA]
I was born gifted, been blessed
Din-din guest for the win? Yes
When I pull up, gym test
Prepare for your parents to be impressed

I present proper like a TED talker
Got your current chick lookin' like Greg Focker
I'm here to conquer, I've come to slaughter
These dads and moms is my sons and daughters
Skilled seductress, I will kill and crush this
This is my business and I'm built for success
Expect to witness a familial love fest
Valencia, you're zip, zilch and bupkis[REBECCA]
I give good parent

I give good parent

I give good parent 
[MRS. CHAN]
She gives good parent

She gives real good parent

She gives good parent
To parents like me[REBECCA]
Brought a nice red, so when I come in the place
I already got 'em heated up under the waist
"Your home's such a beautiful, comfortable space
Bitches, you two have wonderful taste"

Sit down at the table and I'm murderin'
Inquiring what line of work they're in
Making faces like I'm crazed erotically
"Wait, my uncle is in radiology!"
Every dish is delicious, Michelin Star
"Please pass the arroz like I passed the bar"
"An attorney?" "Yale law, Harvard undergrad!"
Got the Chan fam damp in their underpants

Dad tells jokes, I squeal in amusement
"I agree that Neil Diamond is real music!"
Gonna suck up and kiss ass
Till I have 'em eatin' outta this hand
Like they're eatin' this—what?

I'm DTF, but understand me
It means I'm dazzling the family
Like an anaconda, bitch, I'm immense
And you a common wench, so grovel, Valence

Boss-ass bitch, no one's above me
End of the night, they line up to hug me
"Oh, my gosh, this was so lovely"

(spoken)
To be clear, your parents want to have sex with me. [REBECCA]
I give good parent

I give good parent 
[MRS. CHAN]
She gives good parent

To parents like me