The Worst Joke Ever by R.E.M. Lyrics

[Verse 1]
You see there's this cat burglar who can't see in the dark
He lays his bets on eight more lives and walks into a bar
Slips on the eight ball, falls on his knife, says
"I don't know what I've done, but it doesn't feel right"
Some things don't hold up over the course of a lifetime
When's the first time you heard that one, 1954?
Get to the punch line, fall to the floor

[Chorus]
Give me a minute and I'll tell you the setup for the worst joke ever
I never
I'll tell you my version of the greatest life story
Don't bore me

[Verse 2]
Now I am floating, I feel released
The moorings have been dropped, the weights unleashed
Everything is crystalline, simple and free
The crime of good men who can't wrestle with change
Or are too afraid to face this life's misjudged unknowns
You're not hurting anybody else's chances but you're disfiguring your own
[Chorus]
Give me a minute and I'll tell you the setup for the worst joke ever
I never
I'll tell you my version of the greatest life story
Don't bore me

[Outro]
You see there's this feeling that I've heard this one before