Scene: Oh you gave me such a fright... Corn by Original Off-Broadway Cast Lyrics

[Narrator]
The landlord enters

[June]
Oh, you give me such a fright! Oh, Big Willy... this is...

[Jitter]
They call me Jitter!

[June]
Well, you come to collect the rent, I s'pose!

[Jitter]
That's right, Miss High-and-Mighty! And if I don't collect it by five o'clock today, I'm gonna marry you myself, you understand?

[Big Willy]
Hey! Leave the little lady alone!

[Jitter]
What's it to you, Mr. High-and-Mighty?
[Big Willy]
Well, you can't up and marry her just 'cause she can't pay her rent!

[Jitter]
Oh, cain't I? It says I can right here in this lease!

[Big Willy]
Hah! That lease'll never hold up in court!

[Jitter]
Yes, it will - and don't call me Liesal!

So either I see the rent - or I'll see you at the wedding!

And now... I'm goin' back to my dark and lonely room... to look at pictures! Pictures of dirty girls!

[June]
Oh, that Jitter is bad luck! He's a jink!

[Big Willy]
That's "jinx": you spell it with an 'x'

[June]
That's only when there's more than one

Well, anyway... I guess I'll HAVE to marry him, since you don't love me and I don't love you
[Big Willy]
Okay, okay, okay!

[June]
Don't throw Okays at me!

[Big Willy]
Well, if that's the way you want it, so long!

[June]
Farewell!

[Big Willy]
Auf Wiedersehen!

[June]
Goodbye!

[June and Big Willy]
I don't
Love
You

(ABBY enters)

[June]
(moans)
[Abby]
Oh, what's wrong, June?

[June]
Oh, Abby... Mother Abby.... I'm so confused! Should I follow my heart and marry Big Willy... or follow my head and marry Jitter?