I Cant Be Arsed by Mr.B The Gentleman Rhymer Lyrics

I could be a Jedi, bring the force into balance
I could go on Britain's Got Talent
Or I'm a celebrity, get me out of here
But I'm not wet behind the ears so you won't get to over-hear

My ambivalence, or my acerbic wit
While I'm sat in the jungle surrounded by twits
So I'll stay right here, in the Nicknackatory
So I can make some Chap-Hop and tell you some stories

I could do the washing up or I could brew a coffee cup
I could do something for supper or I could do some mopping up
I could fit a shelf or prop it up, but I'd only cock it up
I'm not going to ruck another rhyme as a crutch

But after lunch because my philosophy is such
That I try not to think or even do too much
Ask me to care, I say look over there
And then probably, I'd run off

I'm neither cool nor devil-may-care
I'm no fool so stay over there
Keep your distance, if you know what's good for you

I'm not cruel and neither am scared
But I'll just hide under the stairs

Stop asking me things
You want to know why ?
I'll tell you why
Because

I can't be arsed
I can't be arsed
In that big race to the top, I'm glad to be the last
I can't be arsed
I can't be arsed
I thought that I might try it once, but the feeling quickly passed
I can't be arsed
I can't be arsed
I can't be arsed

It's true you know

I'm neither cool nor devil-may-care
I'm no fool so stay over there

I could crush a grape again, make a butlers' steak again
Switch over to Ableton, report it to John Stapleton
I could reference this century, the way it's meant to be
But I'm mentally stuck, my favourite rapper's still Chuck
I ought to push forward, try and get ahead
But instead I stay in bed, getting better read
While others are get in a silly ass date
I procrastinate, pop on the sleeping mask and wait

If you're feeling a pang for what you have or have not
Just remember that you are nothing and you mean not a jot

In the grand old scheme of things, your whole life is such
In the grand old scheme of things, nothing really matters much
In the grand old scheme of things, your whole life is such
In the grand old scheme of things, nothing really matters much
When the stresses and strings of life come my way, this is what I say

I can't be arsed
I can't be arsed
In that big race to the top, I'm glad to be the last
I can't be arsed
I can't be arsed
I thought that I might try it once, but the feeling quickly passed
I can't be arsed
I can't be arsed
You go paddle all you like, I'm pulling down the mast
I can't be arsed
I can't be arsed
My drive is oh so terribly tiny, and my ambivalence is vast
I can't be arsed