Brushed Tweed in the Hour of Chaos by Mr.B The Gentleman Rhymer Lyrics
I got a letter from Her Majesty
The other day
I opened and read it
It said I would be knighted
They wanted Mr. B to be a K.B.E
Picture me given' a damn, I said “Yes, Please!”
It would be lovely
To pop into the Palace for a bauble
I hobbled out of bed
Into a squabble
With Carshalton
He recommended white tie
I said “Tweed”
As we know, that is all a chap needs
Once I had administered a beating, Carshalton relented
And presented to Harris
Pride a little dented
No rented tux for me
I’ve sent for tuck and tea!
Suck it and see
If we hurry, we shan’t be late
I’ll meet up with Queenie at the palace gate
We’ll all get along
She’ll present me with a gong
I’ll perhaps sing her a song
What could go wrong?
*You can’t always get what you want*
*You can’t always get what you need*
*But in the hour of chaos, brushed tweed*
*You can’t always get what you want*
*You can’t always get what you need*
*But in the hour of chaos, brushed tweed*
So what if I’m late?
I’ll more than likely have to queue anywho
They’ll never let a cove like Mr. B through
The ranks of subordinates
Ordinary rakes
Fakes and bakers and other mistakes
It takes a chap of class
To deserve one of these gongs
One who rights wrongs
And sings naughty songs perhaps
So I instructed my butler to leave the engine running
I wouldn’t hang around
I’d soon be coming back
Sooner than expected
As it turned out
A bear-skinned bully, let out a shout
“Stop right there,” yelled the stroppy popinjay
“You knocked a Bobby’s helmet off
Last year, one summer’s day!”
“I did indeed,” said I
“I took the tit off his noggin
And if you don’t have a care
I’ll smite that giant mimsy you’re rocking!”
I’m glad Carshalton was waiting for me
As I was chased out
I thought, “So much for Sir B…”
*You can’t always get what you want*
*You can’t always get what you need*
*But in the hour of chaos, brushed tweed*
*You can’t always get what you want*
*You can’t always get what you need*
*But in the hour of chaos, brushed tweed*
*You can’t always get what you want.*
*You can’t always get what you need….*
If things don’t go quite as you planned
Make sure a good tailor is close at hand
*You can’t always get what you want*
*You can’t always get what you need*
*But in the hour of chaos, brushed tweed*
All the ladies and the chaps say
“La la la la la la la”
(that’s right)
“la la la brushed tweed.”
La la la la la la la
La la la brushed tweed
La la la la la la la
La la la brushed tweed
I say break it down
La la la la la la la
La la la brushed tweed
Sing it along
La la la la la la la
La la la brushed tweed
That’s nice. A -two, three, four, five
La la la la la la la
La la la brushed tweed
Om pah, om-pah, stick it up your jumper
La la la la la la la
La la la brushed tweed
Indeed
Well, I don’t know about you
But I rather enjoyed that
Until we meet again
Time for bed
The other day
I opened and read it
It said I would be knighted
They wanted Mr. B to be a K.B.E
Picture me given' a damn, I said “Yes, Please!”
It would be lovely
To pop into the Palace for a bauble
I hobbled out of bed
Into a squabble
With Carshalton
He recommended white tie
I said “Tweed”
As we know, that is all a chap needs
Once I had administered a beating, Carshalton relented
And presented to Harris
Pride a little dented
No rented tux for me
I’ve sent for tuck and tea!
Suck it and see
If we hurry, we shan’t be late
I’ll meet up with Queenie at the palace gate
We’ll all get along
She’ll present me with a gong
I’ll perhaps sing her a song
What could go wrong?
*You can’t always get what you want*
*You can’t always get what you need*
*But in the hour of chaos, brushed tweed*
*You can’t always get what you want*
*You can’t always get what you need*
*But in the hour of chaos, brushed tweed*
So what if I’m late?
I’ll more than likely have to queue anywho
They’ll never let a cove like Mr. B through
The ranks of subordinates
Ordinary rakes
Fakes and bakers and other mistakes
It takes a chap of class
To deserve one of these gongs
One who rights wrongs
And sings naughty songs perhaps
So I instructed my butler to leave the engine running
I wouldn’t hang around
I’d soon be coming back
Sooner than expected
As it turned out
A bear-skinned bully, let out a shout
“Stop right there,” yelled the stroppy popinjay
“You knocked a Bobby’s helmet off
Last year, one summer’s day!”
“I did indeed,” said I
“I took the tit off his noggin
And if you don’t have a care
I’ll smite that giant mimsy you’re rocking!”
I’m glad Carshalton was waiting for me
As I was chased out
I thought, “So much for Sir B…”
*You can’t always get what you want*
*You can’t always get what you need*
*But in the hour of chaos, brushed tweed*
*You can’t always get what you want*
*You can’t always get what you need*
*But in the hour of chaos, brushed tweed*
*You can’t always get what you want.*
*You can’t always get what you need….*
If things don’t go quite as you planned
Make sure a good tailor is close at hand
*You can’t always get what you want*
*You can’t always get what you need*
*But in the hour of chaos, brushed tweed*
All the ladies and the chaps say
“La la la la la la la”
(that’s right)
“la la la brushed tweed.”
La la la la la la la
La la la brushed tweed
La la la la la la la
La la la brushed tweed
I say break it down
La la la la la la la
La la la brushed tweed
Sing it along
La la la la la la la
La la la brushed tweed
That’s nice. A -two, three, four, five
La la la la la la la
La la la brushed tweed
Om pah, om-pah, stick it up your jumper
La la la la la la la
La la la brushed tweed
Indeed
Well, I don’t know about you
But I rather enjoyed that
Until we meet again
Time for bed