BYU mathletes by Michael Smart Lyrics
They ain't choose math, m-m-math chose them
They knew it was their destiny way back when
These Cougar mathletes got a flair for the dramatic
Takes ’em seconds to solve equations quadratic
And when they take on other schools, it's automatic
Like this year they goin' win the Olympics of Mathematics
Jumpers and dunks ain’t the skills that they study
Instead it's polynomials they factoring, buddy
It's straight up clear why their opponents always fear 'em
The way that they get sick with that Pythagorean Theorem
Crunchin' numbers for hours, solving equations in the shower
Each one is smarter than you to the hundredth power
Don't try to keep up once the math race gets going
When you're half-way done, they'll be already Tebowing
They’ll leave your dreams charred with ashes and soot
And they’ll introduce your rear to the mathlete's foot!
CHORUS:
The BYU Mathletes are coming after ya
When they walk by don’t do the wave do the parabola
It's Dittmer not Detmer but he's fly like Ty
And if it existed, he'd win the Heisman of Reciting Pi
Champ in high school, college pressure grew
Til the guv wants a pic with the top math recruit
And that’s in Indiana where they worship their Hoosiers
But now the kids there love math and they say, "Hoops is for losers!"
Took his talents to Provo over Stanford & MIT
His range of integers goes to infinity
Dropping derivatives like threes, makin' Cougar fans forget
Ballers with no math like—what's-his-name? Fredette?
Laid down his calculator for two years in Albania
Now he's back doin' work, get loud, it's Dittmer mania!
CHORUS:
The BYU Mathletes are coming after ya
When they walk by don't do the wave do the parabola
They knew it was their destiny way back when
These Cougar mathletes got a flair for the dramatic
Takes ’em seconds to solve equations quadratic
And when they take on other schools, it's automatic
Like this year they goin' win the Olympics of Mathematics
Jumpers and dunks ain’t the skills that they study
Instead it's polynomials they factoring, buddy
It's straight up clear why their opponents always fear 'em
The way that they get sick with that Pythagorean Theorem
Crunchin' numbers for hours, solving equations in the shower
Each one is smarter than you to the hundredth power
Don't try to keep up once the math race gets going
When you're half-way done, they'll be already Tebowing
They’ll leave your dreams charred with ashes and soot
And they’ll introduce your rear to the mathlete's foot!
CHORUS:
The BYU Mathletes are coming after ya
When they walk by don’t do the wave do the parabola
It's Dittmer not Detmer but he's fly like Ty
And if it existed, he'd win the Heisman of Reciting Pi
Champ in high school, college pressure grew
Til the guv wants a pic with the top math recruit
And that’s in Indiana where they worship their Hoosiers
But now the kids there love math and they say, "Hoops is for losers!"
Took his talents to Provo over Stanford & MIT
His range of integers goes to infinity
Dropping derivatives like threes, makin' Cougar fans forget
Ballers with no math like—what's-his-name? Fredette?
Laid down his calculator for two years in Albania
Now he's back doin' work, get loud, it's Dittmer mania!
CHORUS:
The BYU Mathletes are coming after ya
When they walk by don't do the wave do the parabola