French Gun by Michael Dorman Lyrics

The janky plan begins today
Today I start to make my way
To a French gun
The Iranians
They get forty 'cause he's a dignitary
They get all the guns they can carry
And there's almost no other way
To get a gun today
In France

But say you are a Senegalese grocer
With a tidy little joint in a rough neighborhood
And you keep
Getting your ass beat

You're just stackin' up the crackers
And some French fucker takes your cash register
And leaves you beat
Down in a heap
In France
If you're attacked in your place of business
And can demonstrate loss of property and consciousness
On the thirteenth attack
Oh man, you get strapped
In France

They keep all the names of all the French gun owners
In this kind of cool French tower
Under lock and key
So someone like me
Doesn't wander in and snag a random name
Find the guy and fuck him for his gun
Which is why I'm climbing up
To the very top
In France

There's no way it occured to security
Someone would jump from the roof to the balcony
'cause it's forty feet
And you would have to be
Pretty fucking crazy or just educated
On how to cross the Ventasner Meridian
So you would have a chance to land
And just be unconscious
For seventeen minutes