These Presidents Are WACK by Meha Kavoori, Piolo Paz, Madeleine Chow, Rutaa Patel Lyrics
Hayes is in the House
Hayes is in the House now
Everybody be ready to get thrown out
(Hayes’ House, Hayes’ House)
Listen here
Workers, farmers
The immigrants too
Come together we must for reform to pursue
Temperance, greenbacks, and black voting rights
All must be protected under my oversight
To be committed to temperance as of now
I must ban liquor flow into the White House
Greenbacks you’rе next
Step up to the platе
I’m about to retire gov bonds
And insure you with gold plates
Silver coinage (who is she?)
I gave her the fame (pause) she knows of me
Issued more of them, to help my homies out
Those who served in the war
Both on and off the ground
So look at yourself and tell me now
What did you do better and what do I not have?
Rutherford, Rutherford
Hear my out my man
You only did the things you felt weren’t bad
But you had your chance
It’s time to shut up
Cause I’m about to get real & let you know wassup
You performed discrimination against Chinese immigration
Destroyed their dreams of living in a new nation
Vetoed the Bland Allison Act that would’ve had your homies back
But you couldn’t face the inflation, by increasing circulation
Had to send in federal troops to put down the workers
Cause only backing railroad companies gets you power
Demonish Democrats, you call them now
But wasn’t it your party that gave birth to its clout?
Pro-Business, Pro-Business
That’s all you preach
But high tariffs, and no assistance is all I see
Union service as lieutenant colonel (civil war)
Anyone else as brave as me?
Rank of brig-a-dier general, Battle of Shiloh
I served in the civil war
Had no experience
But I still beat the confederates
Nine terms in the House of Representatives
Elected to the Senate
In 1880 I got chosen
As the party’s nomination
Everyone deserves an edu-caation
So let’s give them universal education
Give the blacks free-dom
Give them civil rights!
Even though I died so early
Had the second shortest term in history
I was still able to reform this country
Anyone else
Can they claim that trophy?
Garfield you may have been elected to the
Senate
But did no one tell you-
You got rejected?
You never took your seat at all
Unfortunately that was your fall
Lucky lucky little Garfield
Managed to get in the high rises
But oh so sad
You got shot
By Charles J. Guiteau, what a stalwart!
And your “presidential” doctors
Couldn’t even save your life
The Star Route Scandal
Corruption all around
I thought you were supposed to reform this town
But I guess you let us down
Had that affair with- who was it?
Lucia Calhoun
Couldn’t be honest with your wife
So how’ll you stay loyal
To this country and its people?
Ayo, Chester’s here, you old hags should be humbled
Cause for all I know all of you just caused trouble
21st president; 21 is my number
Your presidencies was just one big blunder
You may ask, what did I do in the office
Well listen here, cause maybe you’ll think “Hey I should have done this”
First of all the state of our navy was so disgraceful
It was weak, it was bad, and oh very shameful
Funds were requested by me and my navy secretary
We constructed protected cruisers A, B, C and D
Atlanta, Boston, Chicago, and Dolphin
My modernization of the navy won’t be forgotten
Now let’s talk about the Pendleton Act
An act I made to law that made a major impact
Until the late 70’s we practiced the spoils system
Then I made the CSC and enforced a merit system
Mr. Arthur, go ahead and walk out of here
Your failed presidency marked the end of your career
You’re the most problematic, senseless, and racist man
With your bushy sideburns, you might as well have never ran
Now look at you with your kidney disease
It’s karma for banning the immigration of the Chinese
And all the pain you felt was pain well deserved
Signed that ten year ban in office, as president you never subserved
You may have made a steel ship or maybe just a few
Does not explain why our federal spending was overdue
You failed to fix our overspending just for steel ships
Well who is actually surprised you did not do it?
Furthermore, as I said you were a racist
Not just to the Chinese but also to the Natives
You opened schools so they can improve their wit
Because you said that the Natives were “unfit”
You supported an allotment system for our indigenous
You were racist when you said they were savage and perpetuated it
All in all, folks here’s Chester Arthur
A disgrace of a man, and a shame of a leader
Cleveland in the building
I can hear the people cheering
I am a survivor
Cut that cancer out my mouth
I will be the one who sparks the great fire
Yeah, I’m fair to the people
Civil Service changes, so offices could be equal
Even vetoed bills about bogus pension
And this was not the only thing that got their attention
The Interstate Commerce Act was the best
Federal railroad regulation had addressed
The unfair rates and policies that were protest
Expansion stays my middle name
Invoked Monroe Doctrine and proclaimed
To solve the Venezuela border dispute was my aim
Got the Great British to relinquish their claim
This was not the only foreign action that I took
Withdrew Hawaii’s annexation treaty
Even called them Republic ‘cause they ain’t so needy
Grover Cleveland, what a waste of a president
Became the first democatic White House resident
Since before the Civil War, settin’ the precedent
Appealing to the rich and the people of the south
But what about the immigrants, laborers, and the poor
Against protective tariffs to help out industrial interest
And against texas seed bill –providing relief for the farmers
Against labor movement with the Pullman Railroad Strike
And against immigration with the Chinese Exclusion Act
Thinkin you the big man assimilating tribes
Taking ancient lands so they could then decide
Yet most of the time, land was bought, sold, or bribed
Let’s not even mention the depression of ‘93
Defending gold standard and public did not agree
Did some shady stuff, like borrow money from the banks
Which led the government to fall through the ranks
So what exactly are you for
When you can’t even do more
Than wallow in all the issues
And use up all your tissues
Go ahead and cry to your 21-year old wife
Guess who it is?
It’s Harrison, yes it is
Got to the house, yeah I’m such a whiz
Civil rights, civil service, civil reform
Better conditions and pension too
On the side of people
That’s what I preach
Granting veter-ans, their economic relief
Sherman Antitrust: forbidding the creation of monopoly trusts (really fast)
Sherman Silver Purchase: supporting farmers by increasing silver coinage
Only scratched the surface
Yeah, you’ll all see
Naval expansion for the people of our country
Went to New England for a merchant marine
Say I’m building off of Chester, but that cat is wack!
Yeah he don’t even know from
Hayes is in the House now
Everybody be ready to get thrown out
(Hayes’ House, Hayes’ House)
Listen here
Workers, farmers
The immigrants too
Come together we must for reform to pursue
Temperance, greenbacks, and black voting rights
All must be protected under my oversight
To be committed to temperance as of now
I must ban liquor flow into the White House
Greenbacks you’rе next
Step up to the platе
I’m about to retire gov bonds
And insure you with gold plates
Silver coinage (who is she?)
I gave her the fame (pause) she knows of me
Issued more of them, to help my homies out
Those who served in the war
Both on and off the ground
So look at yourself and tell me now
What did you do better and what do I not have?
Rutherford, Rutherford
Hear my out my man
You only did the things you felt weren’t bad
But you had your chance
It’s time to shut up
Cause I’m about to get real & let you know wassup
You performed discrimination against Chinese immigration
Destroyed their dreams of living in a new nation
Vetoed the Bland Allison Act that would’ve had your homies back
But you couldn’t face the inflation, by increasing circulation
Had to send in federal troops to put down the workers
Cause only backing railroad companies gets you power
Demonish Democrats, you call them now
But wasn’t it your party that gave birth to its clout?
Pro-Business, Pro-Business
That’s all you preach
But high tariffs, and no assistance is all I see
Union service as lieutenant colonel (civil war)
Anyone else as brave as me?
Rank of brig-a-dier general, Battle of Shiloh
I served in the civil war
Had no experience
But I still beat the confederates
Nine terms in the House of Representatives
Elected to the Senate
In 1880 I got chosen
As the party’s nomination
Everyone deserves an edu-caation
So let’s give them universal education
Give the blacks free-dom
Give them civil rights!
Even though I died so early
Had the second shortest term in history
I was still able to reform this country
Anyone else
Can they claim that trophy?
Garfield you may have been elected to the
Senate
But did no one tell you-
You got rejected?
You never took your seat at all
Unfortunately that was your fall
Lucky lucky little Garfield
Managed to get in the high rises
But oh so sad
You got shot
By Charles J. Guiteau, what a stalwart!
And your “presidential” doctors
Couldn’t even save your life
The Star Route Scandal
Corruption all around
I thought you were supposed to reform this town
But I guess you let us down
Had that affair with- who was it?
Lucia Calhoun
Couldn’t be honest with your wife
So how’ll you stay loyal
To this country and its people?
Ayo, Chester’s here, you old hags should be humbled
Cause for all I know all of you just caused trouble
21st president; 21 is my number
Your presidencies was just one big blunder
You may ask, what did I do in the office
Well listen here, cause maybe you’ll think “Hey I should have done this”
First of all the state of our navy was so disgraceful
It was weak, it was bad, and oh very shameful
Funds were requested by me and my navy secretary
We constructed protected cruisers A, B, C and D
Atlanta, Boston, Chicago, and Dolphin
My modernization of the navy won’t be forgotten
Now let’s talk about the Pendleton Act
An act I made to law that made a major impact
Until the late 70’s we practiced the spoils system
Then I made the CSC and enforced a merit system
Mr. Arthur, go ahead and walk out of here
Your failed presidency marked the end of your career
You’re the most problematic, senseless, and racist man
With your bushy sideburns, you might as well have never ran
Now look at you with your kidney disease
It’s karma for banning the immigration of the Chinese
And all the pain you felt was pain well deserved
Signed that ten year ban in office, as president you never subserved
You may have made a steel ship or maybe just a few
Does not explain why our federal spending was overdue
You failed to fix our overspending just for steel ships
Well who is actually surprised you did not do it?
Furthermore, as I said you were a racist
Not just to the Chinese but also to the Natives
You opened schools so they can improve their wit
Because you said that the Natives were “unfit”
You supported an allotment system for our indigenous
You were racist when you said they were savage and perpetuated it
All in all, folks here’s Chester Arthur
A disgrace of a man, and a shame of a leader
Cleveland in the building
I can hear the people cheering
I am a survivor
Cut that cancer out my mouth
I will be the one who sparks the great fire
Yeah, I’m fair to the people
Civil Service changes, so offices could be equal
Even vetoed bills about bogus pension
And this was not the only thing that got their attention
The Interstate Commerce Act was the best
Federal railroad regulation had addressed
The unfair rates and policies that were protest
Expansion stays my middle name
Invoked Monroe Doctrine and proclaimed
To solve the Venezuela border dispute was my aim
Got the Great British to relinquish their claim
This was not the only foreign action that I took
Withdrew Hawaii’s annexation treaty
Even called them Republic ‘cause they ain’t so needy
Grover Cleveland, what a waste of a president
Became the first democatic White House resident
Since before the Civil War, settin’ the precedent
Appealing to the rich and the people of the south
But what about the immigrants, laborers, and the poor
Against protective tariffs to help out industrial interest
And against texas seed bill –providing relief for the farmers
Against labor movement with the Pullman Railroad Strike
And against immigration with the Chinese Exclusion Act
Thinkin you the big man assimilating tribes
Taking ancient lands so they could then decide
Yet most of the time, land was bought, sold, or bribed
Let’s not even mention the depression of ‘93
Defending gold standard and public did not agree
Did some shady stuff, like borrow money from the banks
Which led the government to fall through the ranks
So what exactly are you for
When you can’t even do more
Than wallow in all the issues
And use up all your tissues
Go ahead and cry to your 21-year old wife
Guess who it is?
It’s Harrison, yes it is
Got to the house, yeah I’m such a whiz
Civil rights, civil service, civil reform
Better conditions and pension too
On the side of people
That’s what I preach
Granting veter-ans, their economic relief
Sherman Antitrust: forbidding the creation of monopoly trusts (really fast)
Sherman Silver Purchase: supporting farmers by increasing silver coinage
Only scratched the surface
Yeah, you’ll all see
Naval expansion for the people of our country
Went to New England for a merchant marine
Say I’m building off of Chester, but that cat is wack!
Yeah he don’t even know from