Please Everybody The Touring Song by Matthew Blake Lyrics
[Henry, Keith & Band]
Travelling along on a really nice day
Don't you just love a-doing a touring play
[Henry]
I do like costumes
[Keith]
I love collaboration
[Henry]
I like big lights
[Band]
Service stations!
[Keith]
The director giving me precise direction
Then I just do something that feels right!
[Henry]
It's about connection!
[Henry, Keith & Band]
Theatre's a temple
With every soul
Gathering together
With the same goal:
[Henry]
To look at me
[Keith]
To look at me
[Henry]
To look at me
[Keith]
To look at me
[Henry & Keith]
I mean 'art'
[Henry, Keith & Band]
We're loose from our tether
We're travelling together
To put on a show that
Everyone will love!
[Band, spoken]
Ladies and gentlemen, we present Oscar Wilde's An Ideal Husband
Starring the Marquis of Anglesey as the ideal husband
And Mr Alexander Keith as a non-ideal husband
[Henry, Keith & Band]
Curtain up!
[Keith]
How do you think it went?
[Henry]
How d'you think it went?
[Band]
How do you think it went?
[Henry & Band]
You first
[Keith]
Okay, I think it's the first week
I think we're all still tired from rehearsal
But other than that it went well!
[Henry & Band]
It went well, it went well!
[Henry, Keith & Band]
I think they liked it
[Henry]
That lady with the notebook was a bit distracting
I think I stared at her in basically all of my acting
[Keith]
Was there something just a little unexciting?
[Henry]
Even with the haze effects and all of that lighting?
[Keith]
But trying to second guess the audience is tough
[Henry]
Maybe it just wasn't fabulous enough
[Henry, Keith & Band]
Oh well
You can't please everybody all the time
Travelling along on a pretty nice day
Don't you just love a-doing a touring play
[Keith]
I like the smell of the stage and the backdrop -
[Henry]
And the sky!
[Band]
I love being paid to make strangers cry
[Keith]
The ducking and diving, the rolling with punches
[Henry]
The feeling aliveing!
[Band]
Unionised lunches!
[Keith]
We're riffing some changes
[Henry]
Living on the edge!
[Keith]
Responding to feedback!
[Band]
I just drove in a hedge!
[Henry & Keith]
Never mind! Because we're
[Henry, Keith & Band]
Light as a feather
We're travelling together
To put on a show that
Everyone will love
[Band, spoken]
We present a searing adaptation of Oscar Wilde's masterpiece:
'An Eye dot Deal forward slash Husb AND?'
Starring Mr Alexander Keith as the ideal husband
And the Marquis of Anglesey as Crystal, the family dog
[Henry, Keith & Band]
Curtain up!
[Henry]
How do you think it went?
[Keith]
How d'you think it went?
[Band]
How do you think it went?
[Henry & Keith]
You first
[Band]
Okay, I think it's like
Week five, and we're all feeling some fatigue now
But accounting for that
[Keith]
It went well!
[Henry & Band]
It went well, it went well!
[Henry, Keith & Band]
No it was good I thought
[Keith]
I'm not sure they really "got" it
[Henry]
You're right, more glitter, I will enter by rocket
And ten more mirrorballs, I want total immersion
And a sub-plot about a butterfly who thinks he's a person
No sleep tonight, they've gotta love our guts!
[Keith]
Scripts out people, 'cause we're making some cuts
[Henry, Keith & Band]
'Cause you should please everybody all the time
Travelling along on a... day
Don't you just love a-doing a touring play?
[Henry]
I love the cameraderie!
[Keith]
I love it when people actually hit their cues
[Band]
"I love it when people actually hit their cues"
[Keith]
Excuse me, I'm right here
[Band]
I love the pub
[Keith]
Thank you
[Band]
This used to be my hobby
I don't have a hobby anymore
[Henry]
And when the audience comes in
And they don't know what to expect
[Keith]
And they see you
And if they like you, you win
[Henry]
And if they don't like you?
[Keith]
They win
And thus we're
[Henry, Keith & Band]
Working together
Hell for leather
To put on a show
That they have got to love!
[Band, spoken]
Ladies and gentlemen, we present:
'An Ideal Dog'
A tone poem in seventeen identical stanzas
Starring Mr Alexander Keith as the emotional backdrop
And the Marquis of Anglesey in the key and titular role of Crystal
[Henry, Keith & Band]
Curtain up!
[Band]
How do you think it went?
[Keith]
How d'you think it went?
[Henry]
How do you think it went?
[Keith & Band]
You first
[Henry]
Okay well, some of them stayed, which I thought was interesting
And of course we're near the end of the tour now, so we're all really tired, but
[Keith]
That was disgusting
[Band]
Awful
[Henry]
Really?
[Keith]
Oh not us, dear boy!
[Band]
We were quite fine
[Keith]
There's only so much you can do to pander to an audience
[Band]
Quite right, I think
Some people just find non-clappy forms of emotional release
[Keith]
And even then, I'd rather die than make
A non-Marmite piece
[Keith & Band]
I really think tonight the fault was theirs
[Henry]
And I like that bit with the lighty-up stairs
[Keith]
But it's not our place to give an easy laugh
You've got to separate the wheat from the chaff
[Henry, Keith & Band]
'Cause you can't please everybody all the time
[Henry]
Whatcha say?
[Henry, Keith & Band]
You can't please everybody
[Band]
And maybe you shouldn't please anybody
[Henry, Keith & Band]
'Cause you can't please everybody all the time
[Keith]
And that's fine
Travelling along on a really nice day
Don't you just love a-doing a touring play
[Henry]
I do like costumes
[Keith]
I love collaboration
[Henry]
I like big lights
[Band]
Service stations!
[Keith]
The director giving me precise direction
Then I just do something that feels right!
[Henry]
It's about connection!
[Henry, Keith & Band]
Theatre's a temple
With every soul
Gathering together
With the same goal:
[Henry]
To look at me
[Keith]
To look at me
[Henry]
To look at me
[Keith]
To look at me
[Henry & Keith]
I mean 'art'
[Henry, Keith & Band]
We're loose from our tether
We're travelling together
To put on a show that
Everyone will love!
[Band, spoken]
Ladies and gentlemen, we present Oscar Wilde's An Ideal Husband
Starring the Marquis of Anglesey as the ideal husband
And Mr Alexander Keith as a non-ideal husband
[Henry, Keith & Band]
Curtain up!
[Keith]
How do you think it went?
[Henry]
How d'you think it went?
[Band]
How do you think it went?
[Henry & Band]
You first
[Keith]
Okay, I think it's the first week
I think we're all still tired from rehearsal
But other than that it went well!
[Henry & Band]
It went well, it went well!
[Henry, Keith & Band]
I think they liked it
[Henry]
That lady with the notebook was a bit distracting
I think I stared at her in basically all of my acting
[Keith]
Was there something just a little unexciting?
[Henry]
Even with the haze effects and all of that lighting?
[Keith]
But trying to second guess the audience is tough
[Henry]
Maybe it just wasn't fabulous enough
[Henry, Keith & Band]
Oh well
You can't please everybody all the time
Travelling along on a pretty nice day
Don't you just love a-doing a touring play
[Keith]
I like the smell of the stage and the backdrop -
[Henry]
And the sky!
[Band]
I love being paid to make strangers cry
[Keith]
The ducking and diving, the rolling with punches
[Henry]
The feeling aliveing!
[Band]
Unionised lunches!
[Keith]
We're riffing some changes
[Henry]
Living on the edge!
[Keith]
Responding to feedback!
[Band]
I just drove in a hedge!
[Henry & Keith]
Never mind! Because we're
[Henry, Keith & Band]
Light as a feather
We're travelling together
To put on a show that
Everyone will love
[Band, spoken]
We present a searing adaptation of Oscar Wilde's masterpiece:
'An Eye dot Deal forward slash Husb AND?'
Starring Mr Alexander Keith as the ideal husband
And the Marquis of Anglesey as Crystal, the family dog
[Henry, Keith & Band]
Curtain up!
[Henry]
How do you think it went?
[Keith]
How d'you think it went?
[Band]
How do you think it went?
[Henry & Keith]
You first
[Band]
Okay, I think it's like
Week five, and we're all feeling some fatigue now
But accounting for that
[Keith]
It went well!
[Henry & Band]
It went well, it went well!
[Henry, Keith & Band]
No it was good I thought
[Keith]
I'm not sure they really "got" it
[Henry]
You're right, more glitter, I will enter by rocket
And ten more mirrorballs, I want total immersion
And a sub-plot about a butterfly who thinks he's a person
No sleep tonight, they've gotta love our guts!
[Keith]
Scripts out people, 'cause we're making some cuts
[Henry, Keith & Band]
'Cause you should please everybody all the time
Travelling along on a... day
Don't you just love a-doing a touring play?
[Henry]
I love the cameraderie!
[Keith]
I love it when people actually hit their cues
[Band]
"I love it when people actually hit their cues"
[Keith]
Excuse me, I'm right here
[Band]
I love the pub
[Keith]
Thank you
[Band]
This used to be my hobby
I don't have a hobby anymore
[Henry]
And when the audience comes in
And they don't know what to expect
[Keith]
And they see you
And if they like you, you win
[Henry]
And if they don't like you?
[Keith]
They win
And thus we're
[Henry, Keith & Band]
Working together
Hell for leather
To put on a show
That they have got to love!
[Band, spoken]
Ladies and gentlemen, we present:
'An Ideal Dog'
A tone poem in seventeen identical stanzas
Starring Mr Alexander Keith as the emotional backdrop
And the Marquis of Anglesey in the key and titular role of Crystal
[Henry, Keith & Band]
Curtain up!
[Band]
How do you think it went?
[Keith]
How d'you think it went?
[Henry]
How do you think it went?
[Keith & Band]
You first
[Henry]
Okay well, some of them stayed, which I thought was interesting
And of course we're near the end of the tour now, so we're all really tired, but
[Keith]
That was disgusting
[Band]
Awful
[Henry]
Really?
[Keith]
Oh not us, dear boy!
[Band]
We were quite fine
[Keith]
There's only so much you can do to pander to an audience
[Band]
Quite right, I think
Some people just find non-clappy forms of emotional release
[Keith]
And even then, I'd rather die than make
A non-Marmite piece
[Keith & Band]
I really think tonight the fault was theirs
[Henry]
And I like that bit with the lighty-up stairs
[Keith]
But it's not our place to give an easy laugh
You've got to separate the wheat from the chaff
[Henry, Keith & Band]
'Cause you can't please everybody all the time
[Henry]
Whatcha say?
[Henry, Keith & Band]
You can't please everybody
[Band]
And maybe you shouldn't please anybody
[Henry, Keith & Band]
'Cause you can't please everybody all the time
[Keith]
And that's fine