Ventriloquist Love by Martin Mull Lyrics

Once we was happy
As Kukla and Fran
Oh, you looked like a woman
So I felt like a man

We didn't have no big Rolls Royce
But we was happy now, wasn't we, Joyce?
And then you went away to night school, darlin'
And learned to throw your voice

Ventriloquist love
It ain't such a groove
Whenever I kiss ya, honey
Your lips never move

But you'd practice for hours
With the bedroom door shut
You and your dummy
Little Charlie McNutt

And everyone thought he was so cute
In his little yellow suit
But then one night you broke him, huh?
And made me substitute
Ventriloquist love
It ain't such a groove
Whenever I kiss you, darlin'
Your lips never move

Honey, I did love you, honey, in the worst kind of way
I loved you every night and every day
And oh what a thrill, I remember it still
The night I asked you, "would you marry me?"
And you said, (ventriloquist voice) "I will!"

Ventriloquist love
It ain't such a groove
Whenever I kiss you
Your lips never move

The last night at that party
You threw it all away
Oh I'll never live down, honey
The things you forced me to say

You made a pass at every guy
Oh lord, I wanted just to curl up and die
Cause you made the words come from me
Now I can't look 'em in the eye
'Cuz the things they're thinking
Are hard to disprove
'Cuz whenever I kiss you
Your lips never move