A Word From Farkle by Logan Whitehurst Lyrics
How many times has this happened to you?
(Various Noises)
Well that's great! Because from the creators of
"I Can't Believe It's Snot!" and "George Forehead's Lean Meat Patty Grilling Exploding Toaster" Present:
FARKLE!
It's New! Classic! Original! Improved! Sanitized for your protection!
You've never seen anyone like it! Call Now!
Never mind, we'll call you!
(dialing noises)
"Hello?"
Tired of those annoying phone calls?
"What-"
(hangs up)
Farkle!
Sweaty palms? Nausea?? Farkle!
And remember, nothing says love like the gift of Farkle. Just listen!
"LLLOOOOVVEE!"
Farkle is guaranteed to provide the most Farkle for your dollar, hands down!
Excuse me, sir, I said "Hands Down."
"But I have a question!"
"Aand, what is that?"
"I love Farkle?"
The answer is Yes! Yes you do!
And here's some other folks who dig that crazy, cuckoo, Farkle
(All positive testimony has been fabricated.)
"The first time i bought Farkle was back in aught 6! buried it out in the backyard. Haven't seen it since."
"I have four pounds of Farkle in my mouth right now!"
"Divorce, eviction, custody disputes, bankruptcy proceedings, fraud and embezzlement trial and uh, cough syrup dependency. Yeah, Farkle has vastly improved the quality of my life."
"I like to set my Farkle at 55, and I chose the Stainless Steel Tea cozy!"
"And I'm most comfortable at 72, and I chose the Solar Powered reading light!"
[Together]
"This way we get both a good nights sleep and we wake up rested and without any lower back pain or the need to think for ourselves! Ha ha ha! Huh? Hoough! HMM? HMMM!!!"
And now let's go to our Leprechaun on the Street! Jon Jon?
"I'm Jon Jon the Leprechaun! Top of the mornin' to you and your kin! Oi, when it comes to Farkle, we-" (various noises)
"Ah, me wee little hat!"
And if you call now, we'll also include this one of a kind Queen of England!
Complete with litter box and scratching post
Don't forget to fail to miss to pass up this amazing deal!
FARKLE! Yeah!
(Strange Sounds)
Well, you hear that sound?
That means it's time to turn the album over, and listen to the other side! Ha ha!
See you on side 2, little buckaroos!
Myself I'm gonna wander over to the waterin' hole! get me some water!
(Various Noises)
Well that's great! Because from the creators of
"I Can't Believe It's Snot!" and "George Forehead's Lean Meat Patty Grilling Exploding Toaster" Present:
FARKLE!
It's New! Classic! Original! Improved! Sanitized for your protection!
You've never seen anyone like it! Call Now!
Never mind, we'll call you!
(dialing noises)
"Hello?"
Tired of those annoying phone calls?
"What-"
(hangs up)
Farkle!
Sweaty palms? Nausea?? Farkle!
And remember, nothing says love like the gift of Farkle. Just listen!
"LLLOOOOVVEE!"
Farkle is guaranteed to provide the most Farkle for your dollar, hands down!
Excuse me, sir, I said "Hands Down."
"But I have a question!"
"Aand, what is that?"
"I love Farkle?"
The answer is Yes! Yes you do!
And here's some other folks who dig that crazy, cuckoo, Farkle
(All positive testimony has been fabricated.)
"The first time i bought Farkle was back in aught 6! buried it out in the backyard. Haven't seen it since."
"I have four pounds of Farkle in my mouth right now!"
"Divorce, eviction, custody disputes, bankruptcy proceedings, fraud and embezzlement trial and uh, cough syrup dependency. Yeah, Farkle has vastly improved the quality of my life."
"I like to set my Farkle at 55, and I chose the Stainless Steel Tea cozy!"
"And I'm most comfortable at 72, and I chose the Solar Powered reading light!"
[Together]
"This way we get both a good nights sleep and we wake up rested and without any lower back pain or the need to think for ourselves! Ha ha ha! Huh? Hoough! HMM? HMMM!!!"
And now let's go to our Leprechaun on the Street! Jon Jon?
"I'm Jon Jon the Leprechaun! Top of the mornin' to you and your kin! Oi, when it comes to Farkle, we-" (various noises)
"Ah, me wee little hat!"
And if you call now, we'll also include this one of a kind Queen of England!
Complete with litter box and scratching post
Don't forget to fail to miss to pass up this amazing deal!
FARKLE! Yeah!
(Strange Sounds)
Well, you hear that sound?
That means it's time to turn the album over, and listen to the other side! Ha ha!
See you on side 2, little buckaroos!
Myself I'm gonna wander over to the waterin' hole! get me some water!