The rapids by Kennedy Betts Lyrics
3. the rapids [prod. Mattaveli]
(Forest footsteps)
(Door)
Sometimes I go to the bathroom
Just cause I need a break
I sit down on the floor
My hands cover my face
Or i sit inside a stall
Just trying to get some space
I wanna cry but I'm torn
Between what I feel and fake
Cause I'm afraid to be seen
In such a pitiful state
While at work, or while at home
Or some other public place
I try to keep it together
But man this is hard to take
Don't even know what I feel
But it's heavy weight
Its like walking through a swamp
Then suddenly, its a lake
I was trekking now I'm treading
As I'm pulled in by the waves
I just grab onto a log
As I start to drift away
The walk turns to a jog
As the current starts to change
I look ahead, there’s rocks
The river’s bearing it’s teeth
And all i can do is hold
Onto this former tree
I shut my eyes, they’re closed
The flow, it quickens me
A little bumpy at first
Uncomfortable say the least
But it's just gonna get worse
First, definitely
Before it gets better
That is just how it be
So i tighten up my grip
As I bounce along the stream
I'm smashing right into sticks
And other kinds of debris
But now its getting rough
Like a storm out in the sea
The water’s starting to throw
The rapids are at its peak
Im getting thrown up and down
Then im pushed way underneath
I go from this side to that
Like a leaf trapped in the breeze
I crash and cut my back
I open my mouth to scream
(Gasp for air)
But right when i open it
The water silences me
It rushes into my lungs
Making it hard to breathe
I’m choking, I’m struggling
To cling to my sanity
But that’s when i realize
I no longer grip the tree
I’m underneath the water
And it’s pulverizing me
It beats me to the dirt
It’s breaking my arms and knees
Air bubbles leave my mouth
As i fade into a dream
I’m losing consciousness
I start to see memories
The past and the present
Start overlapping on me
Am i sinking to the bottom
Or surfacing toward the gleam?
I’m detached from my sense
Of self, this is extreme
And it’s strange in this state
How i start to feel at peace
How much time has passed?
It feels like eternity
But it's only a moment
Seconds, only 80
It's only one stage
A phase of the journey
(Cough)
And then i feel it calm
As the ground touches my feet
I made it to the shore
Open my eyes to see
More trees, more thorns
The forest runs pretty deep
How many more times
Will i see similar scenes
Going through the spiral
Stages seem to repeat
Not exactly the same
But not completely discrete
This journey is so hard
Been everywhere in between
But i get up and walk
The Spirit keeps calling me
And I’m not gonna stop
Till every demon flees
I know i’m getting close
Just don’t know how many weeks
Calluses on my hands and
Scars all over my feet
Don’t have any band aids
So i write notes when i bleed
(Washing hands)
(Breath)
(Paper towel rips)
(Drying hands and face)
(Breath)
(Door)
(Forest footsteps)
(Forest footsteps)
(Door)
Sometimes I go to the bathroom
Just cause I need a break
I sit down on the floor
My hands cover my face
Or i sit inside a stall
Just trying to get some space
I wanna cry but I'm torn
Between what I feel and fake
Cause I'm afraid to be seen
In such a pitiful state
While at work, or while at home
Or some other public place
I try to keep it together
But man this is hard to take
Don't even know what I feel
But it's heavy weight
Its like walking through a swamp
Then suddenly, its a lake
I was trekking now I'm treading
As I'm pulled in by the waves
I just grab onto a log
As I start to drift away
The walk turns to a jog
As the current starts to change
I look ahead, there’s rocks
The river’s bearing it’s teeth
And all i can do is hold
Onto this former tree
I shut my eyes, they’re closed
The flow, it quickens me
A little bumpy at first
Uncomfortable say the least
But it's just gonna get worse
First, definitely
Before it gets better
That is just how it be
So i tighten up my grip
As I bounce along the stream
I'm smashing right into sticks
And other kinds of debris
But now its getting rough
Like a storm out in the sea
The water’s starting to throw
The rapids are at its peak
Im getting thrown up and down
Then im pushed way underneath
I go from this side to that
Like a leaf trapped in the breeze
I crash and cut my back
I open my mouth to scream
(Gasp for air)
But right when i open it
The water silences me
It rushes into my lungs
Making it hard to breathe
I’m choking, I’m struggling
To cling to my sanity
But that’s when i realize
I no longer grip the tree
I’m underneath the water
And it’s pulverizing me
It beats me to the dirt
It’s breaking my arms and knees
Air bubbles leave my mouth
As i fade into a dream
I’m losing consciousness
I start to see memories
The past and the present
Start overlapping on me
Am i sinking to the bottom
Or surfacing toward the gleam?
I’m detached from my sense
Of self, this is extreme
And it’s strange in this state
How i start to feel at peace
How much time has passed?
It feels like eternity
But it's only a moment
Seconds, only 80
It's only one stage
A phase of the journey
(Cough)
And then i feel it calm
As the ground touches my feet
I made it to the shore
Open my eyes to see
More trees, more thorns
The forest runs pretty deep
How many more times
Will i see similar scenes
Going through the spiral
Stages seem to repeat
Not exactly the same
But not completely discrete
This journey is so hard
Been everywhere in between
But i get up and walk
The Spirit keeps calling me
And I’m not gonna stop
Till every demon flees
I know i’m getting close
Just don’t know how many weeks
Calluses on my hands and
Scars all over my feet
Don’t have any band aids
So i write notes when i bleed
(Washing hands)
(Breath)
(Paper towel rips)
(Drying hands and face)
(Breath)
(Door)
(Forest footsteps)