The Lord Commander of the Imperial Guard Rap by Karl the Deranged Lyrics
Oh boy... whadya think yer doing in MY HOUSE? Huuargh... nyommmmm- -my wife... huurgh *inhale* I will show ya somethin'!
Mothafuckas don't know it think I'm just some ancient ass
When actually my balls are made from solid brass!
I'm the Lord Commander of the militant militia
The motherfucker with the armies out to get ya!
Fucking heretics and motherfucking xenos breed
The only joy in life is for me to hear them bleed
(That's right! Motherfuggers don't mess with him! shjaflgsh wet marbles! s'I'm sorry!)
And with the sharpness of my armies I have made 'em all bled
And I will not fucking stop until I see them ALL DEAD
Yes, I will not fucking stop until the galaxy is painted red
MmMMMMmm!
They call me the Grand Planner
I'm the Guardsman Spammer
Massive Plotter
I'm the Major Spotter
(Major Plotter!
Major Spotter!
Major Plotter!
Major Spotter!
Sorry, I said I was going to go away I'm gonna go away now.)
I'm the classiest of High Lords with my red eye and my hair tendrils
With my golden armour
I'm a charmer
Not a shaman
I'm a farmer
Of LIVES!
I am DEATH INCARNATE!
For I send everyday
Millions to the grave
In pointless wars that make me say...
Hey!
Maybe bombing that place was not the best idea
When it's full of soldiers who just sits there shivering in fear
And all I'm doing myself is just sitting here drinking beer
With a jeer screaming if I was there
We would not be fear
No shiver or quiver
Only courage encouraged
So grab a gun and kill
But hey, don't blame
We killed those orks
Now reduced to some steaming corpse...
So if you have any thoughts that you think are hard
Send them to me: The Lord Commander of the Imperial Guard
And I'll make you go to prison...
For crimes...
Of proposing
Let's see here
Proposing...
Lemme get my list up
Proposing...
Did I say proposing?
Ah no, PROPOSING!
Anarchism
Egotism
Suspicion for being a magician
And radical, incredible, theoretical activism
Proposing
Barbarism
Finalism
Hedonism
Humanism
And last but not least, the worst one of them ALL
Might as well nail your fucking balls to the walls
The crime, the worst one of them ALL!
The crime that's streching all the borders
The crime
Of not
Following
My
Orders
Mothafuckas don't know it think I'm just some ancient ass
When actually my balls are made from solid brass!
I'm the Lord Commander of the militant militia
The motherfucker with the armies out to get ya!
Fucking heretics and motherfucking xenos breed
The only joy in life is for me to hear them bleed
(That's right! Motherfuggers don't mess with him! shjaflgsh wet marbles! s'I'm sorry!)
And with the sharpness of my armies I have made 'em all bled
And I will not fucking stop until I see them ALL DEAD
Yes, I will not fucking stop until the galaxy is painted red
MmMMMMmm!
They call me the Grand Planner
I'm the Guardsman Spammer
Massive Plotter
I'm the Major Spotter
(Major Plotter!
Major Spotter!
Major Plotter!
Major Spotter!
Sorry, I said I was going to go away I'm gonna go away now.)
I'm the classiest of High Lords with my red eye and my hair tendrils
With my golden armour
I'm a charmer
Not a shaman
I'm a farmer
Of LIVES!
I am DEATH INCARNATE!
For I send everyday
Millions to the grave
In pointless wars that make me say...
Hey!
Maybe bombing that place was not the best idea
When it's full of soldiers who just sits there shivering in fear
And all I'm doing myself is just sitting here drinking beer
With a jeer screaming if I was there
We would not be fear
No shiver or quiver
Only courage encouraged
So grab a gun and kill
But hey, don't blame
We killed those orks
Now reduced to some steaming corpse...
So if you have any thoughts that you think are hard
Send them to me: The Lord Commander of the Imperial Guard
And I'll make you go to prison...
For crimes...
Of proposing
Let's see here
Proposing...
Lemme get my list up
Proposing...
Did I say proposing?
Ah no, PROPOSING!
Anarchism
Egotism
Suspicion for being a magician
And radical, incredible, theoretical activism
Proposing
Barbarism
Finalism
Hedonism
Humanism
And last but not least, the worst one of them ALL
Might as well nail your fucking balls to the walls
The crime, the worst one of them ALL!
The crime that's streching all the borders
The crime
Of not
Following
My
Orders